2007-11-03 02:20:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u want marriage and kids then dump him... if you force him to have kids.. hes gonna treat em like ****... trust me i know..(my dad) >.< find another guy
2007-11-03 02:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Alot of guys feel this way. I'm pretty sure he really does love you, but he's not ready for marriage and kids. If this is something you want right now in your life then be honest with him, and break things off. Forcing the issue will only put a strain on your relationship, and it won't last because someone isn't going to be truly honest with the other. Talk to him, and figure out if being together is more important then the rest, and go from there. Good Luck
2007-11-03 02:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT force either issue - obviously you want different things for your lives, making this relationship one that will never progress beyond what it is right now.
I suggest that you very respectfully end it and try your best to remain very close friends - but NEVER anything more than that. The longer you stay, the more depressed and anxious you will become. This is not doing HIM any great favors either. Plenty of people never wish to marry or have kids - my Mothers boyfriend is 57, and has never married and has no children - he travels, spends money like crazy, and never regrets a day. I am happily married and have 4 kids and never regret a day - - - it is OK to want what you want - and OK for him to want what he wants - but you clearly do not belong together.
2007-11-03 02:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't the same thing as commitment, just look at the divorce rate. You don't need marriage to be committed, but really it comes down to this, you want kids and he doesn't. Not wanting children is not fear of commitment, some people just realize that just because a couple can breed doesn't mean they should. If having children is so important to you, you need to find another man, so you can be the incubator you always dreamed of being.
2007-11-03 02:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he says he loves you but doesn't want to commit to marriage or kids, he either doesn't love you enough or he is telling you that to keep you happy and will move on when he is tired of you. He may change his mind in time but if he flatly says he does not want a marriage and kids, it is time to find a new boy friend before you end up pregnant and alone.
2007-11-03 02:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well 1st of all all that "leave him" or "dump him" suggest is alil harsh. yes you two are not seeing eye to eye with the situation but you really shouldn't give up so fast. i mean, it depends on his age if he is 25 or under given him some time. he is likely to not have experience life to his fullest potential. people want to be able to see the world, take chances, gamble for success before making that step. i know i don't want a family at 22. i didn't get to travel the way i want to and i wouldn't want to resent my family for not being able to. i personally am waiting til i'm at least 30 maybe 29 before settling down.
its weird to me though how women feel they are ready before 25 (not to say this fits your situation) not even leaving the place they were raised in and wantin a family and a settled life. live it before you put it aside for a new one.
2007-11-03 02:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by Audamar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say, a lot of times when guys say this, it really means he doesn't want to commit to a relationship WITH YOU. Many "commitmentphobic" men go on to have families...when they find the right girl.
Either way, if marriage/kids are what you want, and not what he wants, move on.
2007-11-03 03:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and he obviously do not want the same things ... and what is important to your future is obviously not of any importance to him.. it is ok to look for another man. We must each respect one anothers futures as well as the present.. so respect what he says and let him go without any drama. It is not up to you to make him change. If he is going to do it at all it must come from inside of him and not from inside of you. If you marry him by dragging him around emotionally then you have no respect for him or for yourself and your marriage would reflect that. So, why bother? Let him go.
2007-11-03 02:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want marriage, commitment, and children in your future, you need to tell him you respect his wishes to not have these things but that you two are not on the same page and you need to move on. Then tell him that you do not want him to contact you in any way unless and until he decides he wants the same things you want. Then he may call you and if you're still free and if you're still interested in him, you can discuss it. Until then, goodbye, adios, and there's the door.
2007-11-03 02:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not relationship material, period!! If you really love someone you'll show it by making a commitment. Are you worth a commitment? His saying no to commitment is saying you aren't worth it. I think it's time to move up the food chain.
2007-11-03 07:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lover of Blue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont force him into something he doesnt want, men hate entrapment.....find someone who wants the same things in life as you, and if he wants to grow old lonely then let him, go find urself someone to grow old with.
2007-11-03 02:30:44 · answer #11 · answered by chante 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋