Should I end it all?

Question

My wife and I argue all the time and I can let it go and forget about it but she will keep it going for days. I work hard and I am honest to her. I pay all the bills in the house she does not pay a thing. We have a 3 year old son and I give them everything but still she me a loser, asshole, gay and **** like that. Loser im not ...Asshole sometimes I am we all are right? Gay cause once a month the old school boys get together and hang out and we get smashed and smoke some herb this is not every month sometimes we go a couple of months not hanging. She says its gay to hang with the fellas...I say these nuts.....I am tired of getting stepped on for every little thing she makes me feel sick sometimes.Then I get the urge to go out and meet some hot little chick and totally get out of my resposabilites but I have this son with her what the hell should I do?

Answer 1

Yes but how is your love life .is she getting her shear ..if not then there is your problem..%99.9 of time people fallout because no sex or not enough sex. the other %0.01 is money ..and you dont have problem with that.. ?????????????????????

Answer 2

You both sound particularly unhappy, but it isn't grounds for divorce yet. You know your reasons for your unhappiness, but not hers. You need to ask her what has made her so sad and angry. Is she a stay-at-home mom? If so, maybe she is not happy with that. Why? Because it is the worse job in the world. No pay, no benefits, no social life, no appreciation! Perhaps she feels like a slave. Maybe she doesn't like the fact that you go out with your friends and get smashed and smoke some herb. Going out with friends is fine, but be responsible about it! You say you get the urge to meet some hot little chick. She probably senses your urge to cheat and it makes her angry. You sound like a hard worker for everyone else, but your wife. Maybe you could come to some agreement. You will be more attentive, if she stops all the insults and name-calling. Take her out on a date, or take the whole family out for a fun afternoon. Stop the drinking and substance abuse. It just sets a terrible example for your son.

Answer 3

I think instead of asking should you end it all, you should be asking how to fix it! There is nothing wrong with hanging out with other guys but I wonder if these guys have women to hang out with too. Sometime you could make it a guy, girl thing instead of just guys. Maybe she feels totally left out and this is why she calls you names. If she hangs out with other women does this make her gay too? It does go both ways.
A man can argue with a woman and forget about it, but a woman does tend to keep it inside if it is not settled. To a woman it is unfinished and if she did not get any answers to the problem then she will not shut up about it and it will go on forever! I really need to ask you are you really listening to what she says or are you just feeling like she is griping all the time about nothing. To her it is something and it must be hurting her or she would not be griping about it. She should not be calling you any names though because this only tends to anger you and she may be doing this because you won't listen so she is hurting you like you are hurting her by not caring.
You both have a son together and this fighting is not good for him either. It is time that you both realized that you are hurting each other. You both loved each other once and you both need to figure out how to bring that love back into your relationship.
Communication is a must in marriage and understanding each others feelings. Have you bothered to tell her the truth about how she is treating you? Have you told her that she is hurting you and actually making you sick? Have you told her that she is making you feel like looking at other women? Maybe it is time you did.
You know yourself that you are not gay so do not let her bother you that way because that is what she is trying to do.
The good book says that a man should not hurt his wifes feelings. There must be a reason for that. Maybe it is saying when you do that there is no end to it. I honestly feel you must be doing something for her to try to hurt you. Maybe you should change some of your ways too if you want to keep this marriage together. Are you showing her you care in ways other then earning the living? Like emotionally? Try finding out what she really wants from you. Men think of money. Women think of love.

Answer 4

I say it is illegal to hang out with the boys and do illegal things. Since you believe being irresponsible is just fine.. I can kinda see where her anger comes from. Do you really think teaching her and your child ( a young man who will someday grow up to hopefully be a responsible man ) that you have no respect for her or him in how you choose to raise your son with her really supports a great marriage? If so then you are still a selfish child in many ways.

Monetary support for a spouse is not the only support a marriage needs, my friend. Grow up and hurry. If you decide to cheat and continue to do illegal things.. well then.. what kind of a man are you? Think about it. Either you really love her and your son and you are a grown up man ..or you have only been a liar all this time.

Oh and by the way..most people who get stepped on for every little thing might want to look at themselves a little more honestly so they can SEE what someone else is seeing and perhaps see the justification for the anger being thrown at them. I am sorry she is calling you names. Maybe later on when you have grown up she will soften and forgive you.

God bless your marriage.

Answer 5

Sounds like she's got it pretty good not paying for any bills. Maybe you spoil her too much and she has lost all respect for you because of this. Maybe suggest that if she insists on calling you names, then maybe she better fork out some money for the bills. You shouldn't have to put up with this if your paying all the bills just because you have a son. Sounds like maybe you both should separate for a year and then decide if Divorce is the answer OR maybe try Marriage counselling. You would still have to pay support for your son if you were separated, BUT you won't have to put up with the name calling and the arguing. BUT if you really Love your wife then you both need to seek counselling to get you's thru this. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Sounds to me that you two need marriage counseling. Maybe she would be a little easy going if she knew her arguing was driving you away. I agree that it is very childish of her to stoop to name calling, especially when there is a small child involved. But remember two wrongs doesn't make a right, so before you embark on a new endeavor think about your son, besides he is the one who really matters in all of this. Your wife may have a problem with be controlling and just wants you under her thumb. Talk to her if you can't rationally then I suggest you leave for a few days and let her cool off, good luck .

Answer 7

I can't really advise you on whether to leave or stay, that's only a decision you can make. What I can say is that life is too short to be unhappy. From your description it sounds like you are unhappy. The big question I have is do you love her? If you are unhappy and don't love her, then the answer seems simple. If you are unhappy and love her, then you might try couple's therapy or something like that. Either way, so long as you are active in your son's life and are a good father, that's what matters, regardless of whether you are married to his mom or not. I've seen cases of fathers who live at home, but cheat on the mother, are never around and are emotionally unavailable to the son and at the same time know of several divorced men that are extremely active in their son's life and are awesome dads.

Food for thought! Good luck...

Answer 8

are you willing to keep going on like this? are you happy with her? you should tell her how youfeel about the nagging, the constant complaining, calling you names. tell her if she dont stop this that you will. and dont be threatened by her. remind her that you pay the bills and you can easily take care of yourself, and do it without her.that she is pushing youaway from her. its a sad thing when a person is uncomfortable in thier own home. to be honest with you, im surprised that yougo home at all. remember this my friend - be happy in your life, you only live once. tell her from the way she argues with you that she isnt happy with you, and that maybe you should leave and you go both your seperate ways, because your both unhappy.

Answer 9

Andrew after reading your post, I assumed your age is near mine 33. As a woman and a married one at that, I have certain demands of my husband as a husband has of a wife. This is where the 100/100 (we call it) comes in. If you are honest to her, there should be no guilt regardless if she gives you guilt. If you are honest, then the guilt she is conveying to you is insecurity.
Now as for myself, I would never marry someone who smoked weed or did recreational drugs. My husband knows this about me. I have my limits. If he started this, I would have no reason but to leave him and leave him I would.
Are you gay? Have you been with a man? If not, there should be no guilt there. The guilt you feel about your infidelity (whether it be with another female or even male) should deminish if you have not committed the act. Your wife will eventually sense that your are NOT doing those things.
Are you spending quality time with your wife and son? If I had a child, and my husband left me the kid all week and then decided to go out with friends, I would be angry. You need to be thankful that she has not left already and slapped you with child support. One child could cost you $500 in some states.

It sounds to me that you have been unfaithful at one point or another? If you have guilt, then yes. As a woman, we can sense guilt in a man. They try try try to hide it, but your actions speak volumes.

Try to rekindle the passion and love that drew you to her in the first place. Don't run from her, embrace her. She loves you. If I did not love my husband, I would not care who he slept with, who he was out with, what he did. I would just simply collect his check every week and go get laid myself.

And your last statement, typical of an irresponsible male. Why state it? And along with the other posters, you have a child now, A BIG RESPONSIBILITY, act like an adult.

Answer 10

I think only you can decide what to do. Go to a counselor like I did. I moved out 10 months ago, and I'm so happy with my kid now. It will be hard at first, but once you decide, you will not look back. Always be sure to be there for your kid though.

Answer 11

She is emotionally abusive to you. This marriage has run off the road. Try to talk with her calmly and quietly to open up communications and see if you can resolve the problem. No matter how thin the pancake, there are still two sides to it. If you can't come to an agreeable compromise, you may need to leave the marriage.