*****
Wicked, wicked boy
Shadowless forms know no sunlight
No reflection, no silhouette
When asked for song, they sing nocturnes
burning lamplight, a dance with the moon
Hurried along by the master
Crimson sunrise, morning rain
Quickening steps hold the darkness
‘till the door stoop, downstairs
Into your box, Doppelganger
Hide from daylight, and the rays
I’ll leave there until midnight
then on our flight, into thin air
*****
2007-11-03 01:04:05 · 20 answers · asked by TD Euwaite? 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Ohhhh...poor little cbabysnugglebunny, she's lived a sheltered life.
There's lots of people more creative than me who post here.
Go back and read Todd and Shad, opposite sides of the poetic fence.
2007-11-03 01:42:57 · update #1
Okay no BS here at all, this is really good. Nice imagery. Excellent word choice.
When asked for song, they sing nocturnes
Love that.
And my favorite line is:
Quickening steps hold the darkness
This was very, very good TD.
2007-11-03 01:27:15 · answer #1 · answered by Todd 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably could desire to rhyme besides the fact that if it needs to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is important as nicely. i do no longer desire to 2nd guess what i'm interpreting approximately. I constantly look for what I term "poetic gem stones"interior the text textile.
2016-12-15 15:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why people want rhymes is a mystery to me. Does it make it easy to read? Do they just want this little easy rhyming pattern? Your poem is very good as it is. I was a little taken aback at first by the lack of punctuation but it makes it more ambiguous. I don't know if that was your reason.
2007-11-03 06:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Annabella-VInylist 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great imagery and you've got a good sense of how words sound. Just rewrite the last two lines of the second stanza so that they make sense. Keep writing, you've good a good feel for it.
2007-11-03 01:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by stiofan_lok 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That had black magic and mystery with strange, quark.
It spooked me, but only a bit mind you, it WAS Wicked!
Are you sure this is YOUR poem?lol.
Butt unlike Bud Farmer, can I refrain from sticking my thumb in you.
2007-11-03 07:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A dance with the moon,
Eluding darkness to joy,
Dance to the barking tune,
The wicked, wicked boy.
-->A possible third stanza...haha
2007-11-03 02:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by Dark Dickinsonian 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Deep
2007-11-03 01:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I liked you poem this morning' and thought you did a nice job'''
2007-11-03 05:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very clever wordplay and imagery. Loved it.
2007-11-03 01:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by Semp-listic! 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Im gonna tell you want they told me.
No , it sux a big one. I dont understand, it doesnt take me to a "magical "place. What is this about huh?
Stop being a prick! your pretentious!
thats what they told me. They are wrong.
I thought this about my poem. i was great. I was awesome. It had a purpose and was going somewhere and you were stupid not to get it.
2007-11-03 01:08:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋