Since my separation, They know I have 2 kids and money is tight. They want me to go out with them drinking and have some fun, their treat. I don't drink and I have not had a beer or anything in over 2 years. I can't bring myself to go, because I feel I should pay my own way and I don't want to leave my kids to go do something like that. Since my separation, I do have full custody of my kids and I don't want to give any one any reason to think I am a bad father. Right now, every one says I am a good father and I do not want to lose that rep. What do you think? Should I take just one night a month and go hang out with them I know I would not drink. I am more comfortable ordering a coke at a bar than a beer. Plus I could be the designated dummy. What do I do? Thanks
2007-11-02 23:55:59 · 10 answers · asked by Bones 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are so right and good for you. Keep your nose clean, especially since you have the kids. In fact, if and when there is a filing to be done, rarely does a judge or mediator upset the established status quo as far as the kids go. So, your continued responsible behavior is integral to your future as a single dad. Good for you for keeping your head about you.
2007-11-03 00:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by MHnurseC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You work hard and raise children. You have alot of responsibility and sound like you have your head on straight about it.
Allow your self some down time. Pencil in time for YOU. Take off your " hats" once a month and join your friends. Stick to coke or ice tea but do go out and share laughs and good times with your friends. You will be a better father for it. It is something to look forward to each month. We all need a break from our responsibilites once in a while...it makes us better, more relaxed parents and more able to handle the inevitable stresses that come our way as single parents. It will also show your children that it is OK for dad to relax and have fun too.
2007-11-03 11:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Janet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to remain a great father and a good example for your children. That is what matters.
You can find other ways to have a great time leaving the kids with a responsible baby sitter without going out to get drunk etc. YOU get those guys to go hiking with you..or take the kids camping ..or something good for everyone.
You call a designated driver a "dummy" as if that means he or she is a disgusting person , when what such a person is truly a good person interested in the lives of others who aren't so great at being responsible people. Think about that.
Bars and night life are not all that great when you get right down to it. Alcohol is not a savior. Have the guys over for a few card games ( not gambling ) or to watch the game or to help you build a deck or something or work on the car. Teach your children to BE responsible people in control of their own lives not allowing other people to push them into situations no one should really be in. Always think ahead...how will my behaviour affect how my children think of me and themselves. Will they respect me or begin to think "oh well, daddy does this or that so I can too." ... should be foremost in your heart when it comes down to raising children.
2007-11-03 08:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am on the other side of your problem, Most of my friends have kids and i don't. Don't feel that you should have to pay, I know i have no problem going out with my friends and buying a few rounds and paying their cover. the way i see it is they get to have a break and i also wouldn't want them to buy beer instead of diapers or something they actually need.
I think you should go it would give you a chance to get out with friends have a good time plus your friends won't look down upon you if you go have a good time. Also your kids could benifiet from it if you got to blow off a little steam and can back in a good mood. one last thing girls at the bar love single dads for some reason
2007-11-03 07:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with having an occasional alcoholic beverage now and then, in fact, some studies show it's quite healthy for men to drink moderately. If you're kids are old enough to stay home alone, then it's fine, if not, hire a sitter. No problems there.
2007-11-03 07:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OK, you're a good dad but damn you're a square!! Hell of a life you got there!
You and Lisa should get together and go knitting on a Saturday night.
2007-11-03 07:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a wonderful father with a good head on his shoulders.
a once a month outing with adults will do you the world of good. avoiding the grog trap will save you $ and keep yourself clean. Brilliant.
there should be more out there like you :)
2007-11-03 07:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by chilly 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may claim your Compensation form your Ex,since you are not getting sufficient salary you can.as you told that your friends where you works don't have kids they have some plans for that why you bother about others? u have to think on you and your kids
2007-11-03 07:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by vijaya s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone needs a little downtime, but you should only go out with your friends if you really want to go, not because of 'peer pressure.'
2007-11-03 08:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well single dad .... please go for it ... its about time you had some fun.. and one day thats good for you ... enjoy yourself
2007-11-03 08:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by rpetch007 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋