Is it possible to be truly self-less?

Question

or is being self-less just makes you a pushover?

Answer 1

A rarest of the rare will be a true self less person.Each person acts for one thing or the other.

Answer 2

Sorry but this is an overgeneralization:"Everything we do, we do because it makes us feel a certain way, and thus our actions are for selfish reasons." I agree selfishness happens for a lot of people a lot of the time, but it doesn't happen all the time.

E.g. "In the winter she would make sure that we were warm and had good clothing, even when she herself was cold. She always selected the best things for us to eat and took the worst for herself, and she would rather have been sick herself than see us sick. She would rather have died herself than see us die. Our mother naturally behaves towards us like someone who has gained the realization of exchanging self with others. She is able to put our welfare before her own and she does so perfectly and spontaneously. If someone were to threaten to kill us she would offer herself to the killer instead. She has such compassion for us."
from Joyful Path of Good Fortune by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.

Most people's mum's are very considerate. They aren't thinking "if I protect my child, then *I* will benefit" or "if I protect my child, then it will better able to pass on our genes". They think "this is my child, I *love* her, I will do anything to protect her." Some teenagers seem to find this hard to understand, and may even assume some selfish motive for selfless actions.

Buddhists feel that compassion and selflessness can be developed through training. In the book, Joyful Path of Good Fortune, Gyatso recommends contemplating over and over the kindness of parents, and all the ways they have helped us e.g. teaching us to walk, read, cleaning us etc. If you do this you should find that after a while your mind changes and becomes more selfless.

Also if you watch e.g. Schindler's List again the mind can become more selfless and compassionate.

Will it make you a pushover? It could but I think you have a choice about what you do. I would argue that being a doormat doesn't help the other person but makes them worse. I think if you keep on doing stuff for someone and they aren't being kind back then you should stop doing stuff for them. You can be compassionate and still say no.

Answer 3

RT is right, there truly cannot be a self-less act. Everything we do, we do because it makes us feel a certain way, and thus our actions are for selfish reasons.

Answer 4

no it is not really possible. because anything we think we do for others, we do because it makes us feel better. there is no such thing as a true altruistic action. there is always another reason behind it. usually for our own benefit.