is it bad to have high self esteem?

Question

why do people encourage high self esteem and than when that person does have high self esteem and think their pretty, people say"oh she is conceited, she is a narcissit, she thinks shes the **** but she isn't." But doesn't society want us to think we look good, and when we do people critize? it is confusing. same thing with jealousy, when we say so and so has a problem with me, ppl would say "dont worry, their jealous, and so is this person etc." and than we do say they are jealous, they say "oh please theirs nothing to be jealous(not to our face)"

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with who you are, but that means having a good awareness of both your strengths and your weaknesses. Some studies I've read suggest that all the "self esteem" promotion among young people is in fact not all that great for them, in that it promotes self centeredness and a lack of healthy humility and the ability to value others equally with oneself. It will certainly not win anyone any friends or appreciation if they go around acting like they are deeply aware of their own superiority! Even if someone is pretty, it can be useful to remember there is always someone prettier, and there is no reason to be overly proud of things you haven't done for yourself--looks are something you are born with. And, it is wise to be quiet about your own accomplishments and generous about those of others.

Answer 2

I think it's great to have high self-esteem and also be proud of your appearance. The problem comes in when your self-esteem is totally *dependant* on your looks. If your face was to become disfigured tomorrow would you still be able to live happily? If the answer is yes then you have a healthy self-esteem. If no, well... "if you are ugly, people say stuff like you need to build up a high self-esteem and stuff." I have actually found that "ugly" people generally have a somewhat higher self-esteem than the very prettiest, because they have always had to base their self worth on something else, like accomplishments. And true self worth has nothing to do with looks.

Answer 3

High self esteem is generally considered a good thing, and is certainly better than its opposite. But there are some situations where it can be bad:

1. If it is unjustified. A meth-addicted thief with high self esteem is probably not going to feel the need to improve himself, so it might prevent him from getting healthy.

2. If it is too high. Extremely high self esteem can seem like boastfulness to other people. This can be problematic.

In short, as with many things, too little is not good, but there is also a saying about too much of a good thing.

Answer 4

Self esteem is def. good. Ever heard the expression 'misery loves company'? Pretty much boils down to that. The self esteem thing and the jealousy thing go hand in hand. If you have a low self esteem people don't want to hear your whining. If you have high self esteem then people are jealous of your confidence. When people tell you that their just jealous its because they want to make you feel better but its usually self centered. THEY want to make you feel better...in other words its all about them...'look I made her feel better, I did'. See what I mean? When you say that they are just jealous and someone tells you, you aren't all that...it goes back to the being jealous of your confidence again.
Hope this made sense. I kind of rambled it out!

Answer 5

There is a large difference between having high self esteem and being conceited and puffed up with your own importance. A person can have high self esteem and be humble with it as when you truly are comfortable with yourself you don't need to act like a puffed up idiot.
Perhaps you shouldnt be so concerned about what society thinks but more of what you think of yourself.

Answer 6

Firstly you have to know the difference between high self esteem and pure vanity! I once saw a movie on TV about a Southern lawyer that won every case because he was Satan's son, staring Al Pachino, and the last line was something to the effect that vanity was his favorite sin, so make sure you are not leaning in that direction(smile)

Answer 7

I think, in my opinion, that it is good to have a high self-esteem, but sometimes that high self-esteem, as you have pointed out, can hurt people's feelings because they think they are all-so-pretty or smart.
But people can not have a low esteem, because that's bad, putting yourself down, when you know deep inside of you that you can do what you want to do.

But we humans are made for somethings that are not supposed to be equal, and this is the case for high and bad self esteem.

Answer 8

Do you know the difference between self esteem and arrogance ? Also, you can be as good looking as you can be BUT that doesn't give you the right to see others as less just because they're not good looking.

Answer 9

It is good to have confidence in urself, but don`t place urself on a pedestal so high that no one can reach you. It can get lonely way up there when people get the impression that u`ve placed urself above everyone else in looks, knowledge, ability, etc. Keep two feet planted on the ground, be confident in urself, but not with a superior, arrogant attitude.
Pedestals r for statues, not people.

Answer 10

High self esteem is good but not arrogance. So, one should know where to draw the line!