My son is 14, and one of his friends who is also 14 came over to our house today unexpectly with him. My son asked if I would bring them to the pool today, as I did.
I got to know him a little bit, but I have a very bad feeling about him. During the car ride there, he seemed "too" nice, almost like he was acting. When the kids were swimming, my son's friend also had a very odd physical appearence to him. He had a very odd muscular physique for his age, with stretch marks between his shoulders and back. Was only 5'5 but between 135-140 lbs.
I'm not sure if I want my son hanging around with him, he leaves off a very bad aura when he is around my house.
What should I do?
2007-11-02
19:01:08
·
21 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Friends
Its not just like he is nice, he is TOO nice in my home, I think he is extremely suspicious.
2007-11-02
19:07:27 ·
update #1
I think you should get to know him better. I was always tall for my age and I am a girl. I was 5'9" in the 5th grade, I kind of felt weird, but I never thought my friends parents might have thought I was weird, now I wonder. Hmm. Anyways, I was taught by my parents to be polite and on my best behavior when I was at someone else's house whether it was a friends or a relatives, so I think you might want to cut him a little slack. Maybe talk to your son about your concerns and invite the kid over for dinner or a sleep over that way you can talk to his parents and get a better idea where he is coming from. Also, if he may feels a little more at ease knowing he was invited instead of showing up unexpectedly, I know when we were younger my brother would tell his friends, "my mom won't mind if you come over" and she already has plans lined up. So maybe he felt a little uncomfortable vibe coming from you as well.
2007-11-02 19:39:29
·
answer #1
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
All kids at that age can be awkward around their friends' parents, and may not be very comfortable on their best behaviour. Recent rapid weight gain (again very common at that age in boys) would explain stretch marks.
The apple never falls far from the tree. Why don't you arrange to speak with or talk with your son's friend's parents (or mother)? That's entirely reasonable for a parent to do with a new friend. And will give you a very good idea as to whether you have any legitimate cause for concern.
2007-11-03 02:07:07
·
answer #2
·
answered by Clare 6
·
3⤊
0⤋
Well, will your son accept a bad aura as a valid reason to stop being friends with this kid?
Maybe you should just watch closely. I have raised three boys, and I learned eventually that if you just hang back a bit, let them find out themselves who's good friend material and who is not.
2007-11-03 02:05:34
·
answer #3
·
answered by Pixie 7
·
1⤊
0⤋
Mmm... awkward.
I say maybe try and figure out more about what this kid is like before you judge him.
For example, maybe he just paintballs. My parents had this HORRIBLE vibe about my boyfriend because he's insanely buff. It turns out its because he paintballs. Sometimes, people also just dont know how to act in situations. I know, for example, when I go to my friends houses I act insanely polite around my friends parents because that's just the way I was brought up. That, and I feel awkward and obligated too.
If you're REALLY sure that this kid is going to be a bad influence, you should approach your son about this. Ask him what the kid is like. He may become angry, but it's always better to be safe than sorry. You are just trying to be a good parent. Just try not to yell.
2007-11-03 02:06:39
·
answer #4
·
answered by Xianna 2
·
2⤊
1⤋
Find out a little more before you write him off, but avoid letting him hang out with your son until you find out more. Does this child go to school with your son? If he is in one of his classes, go speak to the teacher about what kind of influence she/he thinks this boy would be on your son. If he doesn't go to school with him, ask your son where he met him and what he knows about him, what they like to do together and talk about. If you ask open-ended questions, you may get lots of answers without having to ask too much. If you don't like what you hear, talk with your son about this boy. You are a HUGE influence in his life. Tell him about your feelings and doubts.
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-11-03 02:09:14
·
answer #5
·
answered by Anonymous
·
1⤊
0⤋
You should attempt to get to know him better either by speaking with him directly or through your son. If you still do not like feeling about him, you should tell your son how you feel.
2007-11-03 02:04:26
·
answer #6
·
answered by RainCloud 6
·
1⤊
0⤋
Sounds like this kid is on steroids, seriously. Your son may idolise him for his physique. (Kids that age have strange perceptions.) Your instincts are right, but don't make the mistake of making him sound mysterious and fascinatingly forbidden to your son! Just casually steer your boy away from him.
2007-11-03 02:07:17
·
answer #7
·
answered by Anonymous
·
1⤊
1⤋
Better nip it in the bud. Talk to your son and don't leave any choices about it if you feel so strongly about his new friend. Also guide your son to not avoid him but to do the occasional 'hi' and keep moving on in school or wherever they happen to see each other.
2007-11-03 02:07:11
·
answer #8
·
answered by happykat 3
·
0⤊
1⤋
Since you are talking of aura, I am sure you know about energy healing and Reiki etc. So, give Reiki if you are a Reiki healer and ask for Reiki if you prefer. There are several yahoo groups where you can request for Reiki freely.
If it is for your son's highest good not to be friends with that other boy, the friendship will not flourish. If it is in his highest good to learn from that friendship, Reiki will not interfere.
2007-11-03 02:07:07
·
answer #9
·
answered by Swamy 7
·
0⤊
3⤋
You better tell your son about his friend and explain to him how you feel about it so he will be aware and find a way to get away from him.
2007-11-03 04:22:00
·
answer #10
·
answered by kugay 4
·
0⤊
0⤋