Did your father treat your mother as though she were his property?

Question

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Answer 1

Yeah...my dad did treat my mom like that. He always told her what to do. When he would introduce her to someone, he would tell her to take off her glasses first. He was just plain rude, possessive, and demeaning sometimes. He made her life pretty miserable. She didn't like the way he treated me and my sisters, either. He was very heavy-handed with physical discipline. She says (though I don't really remember this because I was too little) that when I was about two years old, I splashed him with water when I was taking a bath. According to my mom, he picked me up out of the tub and slammed me against the bathroom wall. He was angry that I splashed him. He always did have quite a scary temper. She said that was the day she first thought about divorcing him. She didn't actually file for the divorce until I was nine.

My mom remarried when I was eleven. She's been happily married now for 27 years to a man who is her best friend. They were both teachers, and had taught their classes in rooms right next to each other for years and years. They were friends long before their friendship evolved into something more. They are intellectually compatible. Their marriage is something that suits both of them very well.

Answer 2

Yes, I think he did ~and still does ~ to an extent, although I don't think HE saw it that way.

He was brought up to regard his role as provider and lord of the household. My mother was brought up a little more liberally because she was from a different background, but she basically always saw herself as the support person.

As an example, he decided how the money was spent, and how much of it my mother got. Even though it is obvious to anyone who has known my parents for five minutes that mum is MUCH better at handling money than dad, his role was provider so he did the money and she abided by his decision.

Another thing is that he considered that as soon as he walked in the door, his day was done. His expectation was that my mother would wait on him, provide food, cleaning and personal care services, look after the kids, the house and the social life, and he would get dressed, go to work, come home, and benefit from her labour without acknowledging it.

Even at times when mum was unwell, dad would get a female relative or friend to 'help out' rather than cook a meal or do any housework.

Saying this probably sounds like he is an awful person and she is a weak one, but in fact he's not a bad guy and she's quite strong in her way, they are just very much products of their era and backgrounds.

It's a pattern that continues to a large extent today, after 50 + years of marriage for them, so it's unlikely to change. And it was very little different to the relationships we saw in the homes of our friends and relatives when we were kids.

In later life, when Mum met some younger mothers and we kids saw the difference even one generation made to how much independence and personal integrity women had in a relationship, it was frankly amazing to us ~ and to her.

There does still seem to be an expectation among some men that they acquire a servant when they marry a woman, but times are changing with each generation.

Who knows what the future will hold.

Cheers :-)

Answer 3

My Father treated my mother as if the whole world belonged to her.
Once my father used the words "Your Mother" in a sentence, there was nothing us kids could use as further appeal otherwise my father always did for his kids
But Mom was the Queen
Her view was that he was the one everyone talked to, he was always the life of the party, he was always the one that got things started and then saw that they got finished and after he died she was surprised that people even payed attention to her
But while dad was alive she was his Queen

but she is gone now too
I had wonderful parents

Answer 4

No, he did not. He had the utmost respect for her. To him, she was "the prettiest woman in the world."

The Almighty did not put men on this earth to be His firebrand generals to "keep women in line", and to "teach women a lesson" if they "got out of line". (Like men cannot get out of line themselves!)

Men are not closer to The Almighty just because they're male. Women are not beneath men. They are men's human, social, intellectual, and spiritual equals. Not superior. Not inferior. Equal. Women are the property of The Almighty. And only The Almighty. Men do not qualify to be women's property owners.

Men are not the "Gods" of their homes, regardless of their physical strength, material wealth, and testosterone. Therefore, a "bend and bow down to me" attitude is not only deplorable and demeaning; it severely infringes on the Property Rights of The Almighty. The Almighty brought men (and women) into this world, and He can take them out whenever He gets ready. No questions asked! Women cannot bend and bow to both The Almighty and to men at the same time. The Almighty must always come out The Winner, no matter what!

If male children are brought up with a sick, twisted view of manhood and they bring that view into their future marriages/relationships with women, all females are in serious trouble. Always blaming women for everything gone wrong in their lives proves nothing positive. And men who do this cannot balk and complain if they are always catching hell. If you put hell out there, hell is going to come right back to you. Case closed!

Answer 5

Never. My father has always treated my mother as an equal partner in their marriage. I can't say the same about her these days, though.

Answer 6

He didn't DARE!

The ONLY physical violence I recall between them was when she was angry about something and he laughed about it and she tossed him out onto the porch (this was during the blizzard of '78 and snow was 8 feet high) in his thermal underwear!

He did however treat his children like property when Mom was completing the education that allowed her to leave him and wasn't there to protect us.

Answer 7

No. Though they generally respected one another at times it was the other way around in my house. I suppose that is why I feel like I need to stand up for men sometimes. I feel like I am standing up for my dad.

Answer 8

No. Still happily married after 35 years.

Answer 9

Nope. My dad treated and still does treat my mom with the utmost respect, love and equality.

Answer 10

Sometimes he did.

My Mom would treat my Dad as if she owned him. BOTH my parents treated each other like dirt. I can't believe the disrespect both have for each other it just makes me sick to watch them. God Bless