Not a question really, but I wanted some opinions on it.?

Question

I have 2 friends (Matt and Lisa) who recently got married. They really love each other, but they both have volatile tempers. Well, one day they were driving down the street and Lisa was driving. Matt stuck his hand out the window and his ring fell off. He told Lisa to stop the car and turn around. She asked why and he told her my ring went out the window. She got pissed off about it and threw her own ring out the window, saying if he didn't care about their vows then she didn't either.

Does this seem like a normal, lasting relationship to you?

I thought it was very strange, and do you have any advice I could pass along to my friend Lisa? Besides the obvious, stop losing your temper so easily. I've told her that.

They are pretty young. Matt is 25 and Lisa is 23. I'm not worried about sticking my nose in their business. I know that seems rude, but Lisa and I grew up together, we've been best friends since we were born. (Our moms are best friends)

That being said, Lisa has never lost her temper with me in that way, or anybody else that I know of. She only does it with Matt.

Answer 1

Well it isnt dirty socks on the floor or the cap off the toothpaste its an underlying problem they need to figure out. I learned in psychology that people will blow up the smallest things when something bad is deep inside. I strongly suggest some serious deep hearted discussion or counseling. I hope they work it out and make their marriage a great one to be proud of in 50 years.

Answer 2

Matt and Lisa do have some underlying issues that they need to work out between the two of them. You should approach the issue very carefully and ask the both of them why they get so upset with each other. It could be from guilt, panic, or something else. People do not behave in this manner for no reason. There is obviously a reason for it and obviously only they know why this has been happening with them. They need to seek out some marital counseling and work it out if they truly love each other.

Answer 3

They are not gonna last unless they get some much needed therapy and/or help with their anger issues. Try to approach your friend about this. Tell her that you, as a friend, are very worried that she is going to lose her marriage if they do not get help for their tempers. Maybe she or they need some meds for depression and/or anxiety. I used to be angry all the time and I spoke with my doc and he put me on antidepressants and they helped soooooooooo much. Within a couple weeks I was more even tempered and not mad 24/7.
I mean, you can offer advice, but they will only change if they want to change. Some people just love to argue and have lives full of drama and chaos all the time. they may be like that. All you can do is offer your kind words but you can't force either of them to change. They will only chage if they want to. The more you talk about it to them, though, the more it may sink in with them and start making sense. Good Luck. She is lucky to have a friend like you that is genuinely concerned about her and her marriage. I hope she knows this.

Answer 4

NOT the most compassionate outreach by Lisa on this one.

Taking petty revenge for actual offense, that's one thing, but getting hyperpissed over an accident? These people need therapy, either together or individually. And some good friends need to take all the sharp objects out of the household, including the thumb tacks and any really well-aged cheddars.

Answer 5

There is nothing you can say to either of them that is going to help. They are exceptionally self-centered and immature, despite their chronological ages. You need to stay out of their conflicts. Everyone else also needs to stay out of their conflicts. That way they will be forced to deal with each other and move on. They may not move on together, but that is nothing you can help with. Telling Lisa to "stop losing your temper so easily" is simply not at all helpful. It actually encourages a continuation of her childish behavior. Sorry, hon, but the best thing you can do for Lisa is to butt out.

Answer 6

I'm not sure that there is such thing as a "normal" relationship. However, my huband and I have had worse fights than that, and we dated for about 5 years before we got married. This couple's relationship could be long-lasting, depending on other factors, but it probably won't be healthy until she lets go of whatever anger she's holding in (I'm sure Matt has probably contributed to the problems as well, but I haven't heard enough about him to comment on that). It's up to them to resolve their differences. My advice to Lisa would be to pick her battles wisely, and also give her husband room to make some mistakes. She could also ask herself before she gets angry, "Is this going to be worth all of the heartache to argue about this issue? Is it really that important?" Hopefully, they can help themselves before their arguments escalate into more than throwing rings out the window.

Answer 7

from what you describe, she's got a short temper & she gets angry too quickly without gathering the facts first.

My opinion is.....it sounds like they fight too much & over the wrong reasons. Urge her or both of them to seek Anger Management to better herself/himself. Marriage has their ups/downs but if they are constantly fighting like this, then counseling should be addressed. When fights occur between married couples, the right way to go about it is to talk about it & work it out maturely like grown adults.

Answer 8

I don't think there are any magic words you could tell either one of them to get them to change who they are. I would just sit back and enjoy the show.. great story though.. you remind me of how my little sister acts and believe me we've told her everything to get her to stop, but nothing changes. even the well if your going to behave that way then we're just not going to talk to you anymore ultimatum.. still didn't work.. she's lucky she has kids because at this point they are the only reason why any of us keep in touch.. good luck though

Answer 9

How old are they? It could be just immaturity. Tell them ya love em but they need to remember what made them fall in love in the first place and they need to grow up before they lose everything.

Answer 10

It definitely is not a normal relationship but in the same token it is not up you to mention it as this will cause resentments and may alienate your friends.