I am 23. I graduated from college in May and have a really good job working as an investment manager. In June i met an older lady, she told me she was 52. I never was an "older lady" man but she was really nice and very attractive so i pursued a relationship. When we had sex she told me she was too old to get pregnant and she was on the pill anyway so there was no need to wear a condom. Yesterday she informed me of a bunch of things: first, she's preg. 2nd, she's not 52, she's 42. 3rd she got pregnant on purpose by me because she thinks i'm really attractive and i have a good future career ahead of me financially. Also, she was actually taking fertility drugs to facilitate getting preg.
Is there anything i can do legally. She totally lied to me in so many ways, now needless to say we're broken up but she says that i still have to financially support her. Is this true even though she lied about everything to me!!
2007-11-02 15:43:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First and foremost get a paternity test.
2007-11-02 15:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by Amy B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether she was on the pill or not, if you don't want kids you need to use a condom, especially since the pill does not protect against STDs. It doesn't matter to the judge if you were lied to or not. All they care about is making sure the baby is taken care of, and that is what you need to do. You don't have to give her a penny for herself, but you need to take care of the baby. Do get a DNA test done when the baby is born. Since she is 42 her doctor will most likely have her get an amniocentesis done to check for Down Syndrome, and they can do a DNA test at the same time.
2007-11-02 22:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the way most people and laws see it is that if you wanted to ensure that no child occured it's your responsibility to prevent conception no matter what the woman claimed during the relationship.
As for the drama over child support if you are the father you are stuck with it unless she finds someone else who is willing to adopt the child and asks you to sign away parental rights to them. Signing over your rights on your own without someone willing to take them over won't do you any good since you'll still be responsible for child support.
Definately contact a good family law lawyer and find out your options and responsibilities. Unfortunately the law could care less over the he said she said part of relationships and how a child has occured...they're more concerned over keeping the children out of the welfare system through child support enforcement...
Bottom line insist on a DNA test before you agree to anything.
2007-11-02 22:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by starfire978 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advise 1st, lie to her and get her on tape telling you the types of things she done to convince you to get her pregnant (example lying saying she couldnt) or anything else she lied about related to her becoming pregnant with your child. i dont advise you to "not claim the child" or "not want the child" the baby didnt do it. what i think you should do, since you can support the child is assume full responsiblity of the child and try to take full custody of the baby IF indeed you find out through a paternity test that the baby is yours. apparently she's crazy and just after your money if she's willing to go through all of the stuff to try to get pregnant and then turn around and tell you that she done this on purpose. i dont blame you for your concern she really done something that wasnt called for. she's after what money you can give her. and you wont be made support her you will be made to pay child support that's nothing to do with her. sometimes the judge will just let you spend that amount of money on the child for clothes diapers etc.....and not hand over the money to the mother of the child. i def think you should check into your rights on this! good luck.
2007-11-02 23:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Teri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg dude I'm so sorry that sucks *** I can't believe a person would do that to another person.well yes if the babies urs which it might not be u do have to legally pay for it but I think u can sue her well I hope u can cause that sucks sorry for ur troubles and if ur gonna pay for this baby u better get custody don't let her take u for everything and take ur kid away too be a good dad even if u hate the babies mom sorry and good luck.
2007-11-02 23:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are pretty much screwed. even though she lied to you about birth control it was still your responsibility to see to it that there was protection. a condom is a good back up birth control. not just for pregnancy but std's too. this is why you have always been told to use both pill and condom. you just never know someone completely. all things considered, you should be thanking your lucky stars you only walk away with a child to raise. you could be walking away with aids. since she is a liar you might want to enforce a dna test as well. good luck. when you gave her the screwing of her life she was busy giving you the screwing of yours. who da thunk.
2007-11-02 22:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. Don't speak to this lying woman at all untilyou have discussed everything with your lawyer. Don't tell her you're getting a lawyer.
You may be able to denounce financial responsibility or give up the baby for adoption or something.
2007-11-02 23:18:42 · answer #7 · answered by saffrondoula 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a paternity test to make sure you are the father first of all. Second of all, if the baby is yours you will have to support it. I remember my dad always telling my brothers to keep it in their pants or wear a rain coat, because there are some women that want you to get them pregnant so they get a paycheck for 18 years.
2007-11-02 22:55:48 · answer #8 · answered by brenda b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry that... that cougar did that to you and I think that there isnt anything that you can do about it... but really if you has the baby and that i think that you should screw her over and that you should take that child from her... she doesnt deserve to manipulate anyone and let alone a child, and she seems to be that kind of person... But i say only do that if you yourself is willing to be a father at a young age with everything in front of you.
2007-11-02 22:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, even though she conned you, you do have responsibilities as the father of this child. What I would do is ascertain that the child actually IS yours and pursue things after that. Know that if the child actually is yours, you have a responsibility as a father whether you like it or not!
2007-11-02 22:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by socalcrazydiamond 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should secretly get her on tape. You might be able to get out of child support or whatever. (I don't know), but maybe you would whether prove she is unfit and raise the child yourself. I wouldn't give her any money untill you know if she is pregnant and that is yours. I would go talk to a lawyer, first visits are usually free) ask your rights on this.
2007-11-02 22:46:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋