Do you hate Thanksgiving?

Question

My family verbally abuses me, plays games, sets me up to be humilated, etc
This is after the thanksgving meal.
last year my cousin put on a vide of my parents wedding- my dad had died 1 month before. my mom cried, my aunt laughed at her and told me to shut up.

Anyone else have the same messed up kinda THANKS GIVING?

My mom says we have to go, its required

Answer 1

not anymore, I stay away from the evil people in my family....they are mean and nasty....my family consist of husband, children and good friends and some handpicked family members. I hate heartburn and indigestion so about ten years ago I promised myself I would stay far away from the evil ones. Now all my holidays are fun and relaxing. I love Thanksgiving!!!!!!!

Answer 2

No, that is not the holidays fault...sound like your family has some issues...that has got to be very hard on you.

I don't know what to tell other than there are many families, I would say most families, don't act this way.

Do you have any friends who you can spend the Holiday with? Maybe you and your mom can just spend it together.

One day, you will be able to have a family of your own, and you will not have to be subjected to this treatment. You do not have to be a victim...if at all possible, remove yourself from the situation.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful Holiday, start thinking about all you do have to be thankful for...it may not be much now, but if you focus on the good, it will be easier to ignore the bad.

I know this seems like a lot of platitudes, but take it from someone who has been there...life is what you make it...sometimes the only thing we have control over is our own attitude...

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Dysfunctional family? Not that unusual a problem. When I saw this question I was thinking, it has to be a problem with relatives. My best solution for this Thanksgiving, and possibly for future ones is go have it with friends you know have a nice one. If your family complains, tell them you were invited and felt it would be more peaceful this year. Some family members seem to be "designed" to use the holidays as a platform for their insecurities or their latest drama. That doesn't mean you have to go. And circumstances can change once they exit the picture. God bless my father but he was like that. Now that he passed away, my family gets together at my house every other year. We eat, play madlibs and have a great time. As it says in the Serenity Prayer,
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Using that to make your holiday plans and choose your setting may help in this decision and in others. Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't hate Thanksgiving, but I do have some pretty messed up people in my family. We've had punches thrown (and tables knocked over), but now we don't invite the extended (extended) family. It was a very distant cousin who threw the punch first, so she doesn't get invited. If I were you I would talk to you mom again and tell her that it really hurts you to go there. Maybe though, she wants to hang onto the traditions that you had when your dad was alive. Hope things are better for you this year!!!

Answer 5

I like Thanksgiving, precisely because we didn't get together with the relatives and have to go through what you describe, like we did for Christmas, which I have similar memories of.

I'm sorry. A good family is the best blessing there is, and a bad one the most painful curse.

The good news is, when you get older you CAN change things. I did not want my kids to grow up with those sort of holiday memories. You can reclaim the holidays. There is hope.

Answer 6

That is a sad story. You should do something about your cousin and aunt. You could put laxatives in the food and watch them all get sick. Or you could be the better person and ignore them. And by that I mean don't go to the dinner or anything with them ever again. You don't get to pick your family, but you can never speak to them.

Answer 7

Wow, if I had the situation you had I wouldn't like it either. Though, Thanksgiving is a pleasant holiday for me. Why do you have to spend Thanksgiving with these people who are so insensitive? Why couldn't you and your mother and your siblings have a little Thanksgiving without all the drama?

Answer 8

I love Thanksgiving. I don't understand why you hate the day when the problem lies with your family. If it's that bad why do you go? Just because they are family DOES NOT mean you have to put up with their abuse. The way I see it, if it's not the kind of person you would pick as a friend, you don't need them in your life. Just because you are related doesn't mean you HAVE to allow them in your life.

------------------------------------------------------------

How old are you? Your mom is an idiot. It's appalling that she allows her child to be treated so shamefully. Required! Ridiculous, is sounds like your mom is as messed up as the others.

Answer 9

I love Thanksgiving & everything it represents!

As for you & your family members, you all are in dire need of counseling.

It is evident, there are a lot of issues a mental health professional can address.

Seek one out asap.

Make sure you are the first partaker of a therapist , it sounds like you are traumatized.

Regarding your mom, she is definitely a candidadte for grief couselling.

Peace.

Answer 10

Having good times with your family is certainly something we all want, and I'm sorry for how you were treated.

However, to say you hate Thanksgiving demonstrates that you don't understand what the day is all about. It's about giving thanks for what you have, not focusing on what you don't have. Stop and reflect on the things you are thankful for. It always helps me when I wander away from the point of the day.