sometimes I want to leave my husband. I don't like his family and through out this pregnancy I have realized how selfish he is. I am 8 months pregnant and just got put on bed rest because my bp went from 112/50-140/80 in ONE WEEK! I'll tell you why, his freeloading uncle just moved in my son's room and is making me sick. My husband also hasn't told him to move out even though it's his ghetto uncle, I had to be the biatch and say you have one week...He still hasn't looked for a place, and I will call the police if he isn't gone by next Wed. So, I'm on bed rest and my husband wont even help, he even said, you don't need bed rest...!! I am on bed rest for one night and my house looked like a tornado, I had to wash the dishes just to eat, cuz his uncle just dirtied up everything and thinks I should clean his mess...I just think after my son is born that I don't think I can do this...Give me advice please...?
Also, I can't move home w/ my parents cause they live in another state
2007-11-02 13:55:03 · 12 answers · asked by elle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does not matter where your parents live, call them and tell them what is happening and ask them to come and get you. You can rest in the car on the way to their home and have your baby there. You don't need the stress and having to throw him out of your house and deal with your husband's indifference is going to be very stressful.
Your pregnancy and baby must come first. Do what is right for that baby and call tonight. They can pick you up within the next two days.
Good Luck
2007-11-02 14:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not much for lies, but you need to tell a little fib or two here honey. The hubby says you don't need best rest because the minute you see your house is a mess, you are up and cleaning it. In his mind, he thinks you're cured. Being a mother of 5, I KNOW that is not the case. Which means you are going to have to "milk" this for a bit. Even if that means the dishes are piling sky high, complain about something and get the hubby to start doing the stuff. He'll realize real quick that the "uncle" arrangement isn't working as he will be the one cleaning up after him. I have a husband and four boys at home. Trust me on this one. . . men don't clean up after other men. And before long, the "uncle" issue will be a thing of the past. Just let it come from the hubby.
And I know it will kill you, but close the bedroom door, do the miserable act for awhile and get your life back.
2007-11-02 21:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay, I'm probably going to get bashed for my answer, but here goes.
Consider that at 8 months pregnant, it's not the best time to be making big decisions about the rest of you life. It's a proven fact that hormonal changes during late pregnancy can affect your perception and thinking.
Bed rest and an increased BP is due to pre-eclampsia. www.preeclampsia.org
not caused by your uncle, although he does sound like a pain in the butt.
All I am saying is, get through this difficult time in your pregnancy and then decide if you want to leave your jerk husband and his uncle.
2007-11-02 21:17:27 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow is my first expression.If you are not getting any help from him now, I am sure once the baby is here that will not change.When my wife gave birth I worked nights and during the day took care of her and the baby. She had really bad hemriods so she could hardly walk. I am sorry for your situation and I hope the stress does not cause you any pregnancy problems. Honestly I think you should definitely consider leaving him as long as you can safely. Is he one of those wife beater types?? Do you have anyone you can rely on there?? Worse case I am sure there has to be some kind of help there if you wanted to move back with your parents IF they wish to have you.Talk to them be honest and maybe they can help you. you are their daughter.You future baby deserves the best life possible and that means physical and emotional. Who knows what your husband would do as a father is he is this lazy to help you.good luck
2007-11-02 21:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a woman is carrying a precious child she should be treated most lovingly and delicately. How dare your husband treat you in this manner! What a complete imbecile! I am very angered with this and I say you must get that uncle out of there now. Even your husband if he doesn't turn ship shape asap. He is by far not honoring his marriage vows to you. You must do what is best for you and you children. He is setting a poor example for your son.
2007-11-02 21:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by Rainfall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh no ma'am! You shouldn't have to put up with this normally...much less being on bed rest carrying HIS child!
Put your foot down and tell him it's his uncle or you-period. If he really loves you then he'll do what's right. If he doesn't believe that you need bed rest ring the doctor. If your doctor is anything like mine he'll be more than happy to tell your husband exactly why you NEED bed rest for the health of you and your unborn child. Goodness...he needs a reality check quick!!
2007-11-02 21:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by Tina 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really feel ya. My husband is pretty worthless sometimes too. His uncle needs to get out if he wont help with chores or pay rent. If he wont help he needs to get out. Have a sit down talk with him and explain what you expect. You also need to have a sit down with the husband and talk to him. You need to tell him how harmful it is to your health and the baby's health not to rest. If he wont listen than you need to start saving up money on the side to leave him the first chance you get. Save enough money to rent a uhaul get an apartment and get you and your baby out of there. It might take a few months but you can do it. As soon as you can start working after the baby get a job, but dont tell your husband your plans. I hate to say this but if your husband is treating you this bad it will probably rub off on your children and I know you dont want that for your precious baby. I speak from experience. Best wishes and if you need someone to talk to email me.
2007-11-02 21:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband it's you or it's his uncle. Your health is the most important thing right now, not his loser uncle. If he can't see that, what kind father will he be? I wish you the best in the difficult situation.
2007-11-02 21:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Kick his uncle and your husband out NOW! youre pregnant and shouldnt have to deal with crap. word of advice if your husband mistreats you while you are PREGNANT he will treat you no better any other time EVER so dump his sorry behind and tell him its over you want him out when his uncle is out on Wednesday!
2007-11-02 20:59:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Whatever your excuses are, you are right. You cannot do this anymore. You deserve better.
But it is going to be up to you and you alone to make your life better. Do not depend on him to help you.
I can not give you specifics on what you should do. But you do have the answers. The answers are within you but you need to be brave enough to realize them.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-11-02 21:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋