My girlfriend (before I knew her) was going to med school, but had some family problems that caused her grades to drop, and she failed out. This was 2 years ago... I only started dating her this summer, but it's apparent to me now she's not over it. She was really reserved about her past (didn't even want to tell me she went to medschool) and I think the problem stems from her being a huge overacheiver (and highly successful) throughout her life, and not being able to deal with that failure. After that, she aimed low in job searches, and generally has low self-esteem now.
She's been working a job that she's too smart and over-qualified for, and I've been encouraging her to apply for internships to advance her career, and she did, but now she's freaking out thinking she won't make it. She's been taking anti-depressants, and I really don't like how those sedate her.
I don't know what else to do. How can I help her get over her past?
2007-11-02 13:51:53 · 4 answers · asked by redguard572001 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First of all, I believe she is lucky to have you in her life, you love her very much.
You I believe have analyzed the problem well, however I do not believe you have the training need to help her resolve the issue. It certainly cannot be dealt with here on Y/A.
We are talking about a "self esteem", issue.
Please see a clinical psychologist, someone she is comfortable with, I would suggest an older person, due to the fact that this problem started early in childhood, I believe.
I believe the issue can be resolved in a short period of time, and will benefit her thought the rest of her life. If it is not dealt with now, it will repeat, every time she perceives failure
2007-11-02 14:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by All-One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the ears hear over and over again the brain begins to believe as TRUTH.
Keep telling her that you are proud of her for being so smart, so successful, you know that she can do any thing she puts her mind to, the Sky's the limit in her life, there's nothing that can stop her, she can do anything......................... keep telling her this, even if at first it seems that there are no changes, don't give up. Like I said, the more the brain hears something, the more it believes and goes for what it knows as true.
2007-11-02 14:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know what your concerns are. She'll have to make a decision herself about the past. Maybe suggest counseling/therapy to help her sort these things out.
2007-11-02 14:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by Freckles... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"
~
2007-11-02 13:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by Order In Chaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋