I don't know how I should feel about this and a little help would be great!?

Question

I'm 22 with two little girls of my own. My mom is 45 and has 3 kids, me-22, my brother-18, and another borther-13. She had a miscarriage when she was 32 years old. 13 years ago she and my dad both made sure they would have no more kids, but my mom just told em today that she thinks she might be pregnant again. I am supportive, of course, but I think she's just missing her grand-babies (my daughters) alot since we moved out of state and so she just wishes she were pregnant.
But what if she is pregnant? Having a brother or sister 22 years younger then me? My daughters having an aunt or uncle younger then them?... I just don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to feel... My mom is my best friend but I have to remember she is still my mother and grandmother to my kids. I don't want to feel this way but I just feel alittle weird about the whole thing. Not to mention, scared of the risks that come with her prgenancy. My dad just got off a medicne and he's not supposed to father..

...any children for 3 years because the left over meds in his system could cause birth defects. It's been less then a year of him being off the meds. That plus my mom's age really worries me. She's already been through alot with the baby she lost 13 years ago. And I'm not gonna be there to support her and help her through this because my husband just joined the air force and we'll be stationed states awayf rom her soon.
What can I do to deal with this myself and help her?

Answer 1

Hmm...interesting dilemma. However, if your mom is going through the change..she may just be showing some symptoms but may not be. On the other hand, women are also VERY fertile at that age as well.

I remember when I was little, my mom was so embarrassed to find out that my grandmother was pregnant. I was about 7 or 8 and my sister was 8 or 9. My aunt was born and my grandmother had no real complications. 45 really isn't that old to be having a child these days. I'm sure she will be ok, you will need to put it in God's hands and let Him handle it.

I can tell you this, growing up I thought my aunt was spoiled little brat and my mom sort of thought so too and disagreed with some of my grandmother's child rearing methods in her later life. But now, my aunt is in her 40's (ya, that means I'm 51) but my mom and my aunt are VERY close. She is probably closer to my mom than she is to my grandmother and I tease my mom about her 'other daughter'.

So, ya, it may be hard for a few years while you are going through it, but there is not much that can be done if it's happening. What's done is done, all you can do is make the best of it. You may find a great relationship down the road for your new sibling and your kids and YOU and your new sibling.

Answer 2

Before you even think negatively make sure of your facts. Call your brother that's 18 and see if he confirms the news or just ask your Mom again.

You know a lot of women when they begin their "change" show signs of pregnancy because once again your body is changing into a non productive state. So with some women their body reacts that way and some really do get pregnant and thing that the lack of period is due to the "change" beginning.

So what if she is pregnant there are many tests that can be done today to find out if the fetus is at risk and many things they can correct while still in the woumb.

When the families were in great numbers like 20 or 15 kids per household of course some of the older children were having children of their own when their mother was still having babies, back then it was a given, you could have an aunt younger than you or the same age, that should not interfere with sharing the joy of a new life if that is what your parents want.

You can still support your mother through the internet with a web cam you can communicate also get one of those phone plans that allow you to talk for a base amount and call your Mom every day to see how she is and your Dad too. They will love it, this way she will always know when you will be moving to another base and so on and still feel part of your life, have your kids draw her pictures and write her letters, communication is a great gift and its so easy today.

Answer 3

It's ok to feel like it's a little weird. And it's ok to be worried about her health and health of the baby
.
Probably not feel anything much until you know for sure if she is or isn't. Then, if she is, everyone has to deal with it.
If she's not, she may be sad as the end of her being able to have babies. You can help with that by just understanding it.

Answer 4

i understand that it is a little much to get used to, and your worried about the complications, but you need to be supportive of her, she needs her family to stand by her through this. my mom had me when all of my sisters were 16, 17, and 18. and while she was pregnant for me my sister was pregnant too, so that was weird for the 2 of them and after i was born...6 weeks later my first nephew was born. so i was a really yooung aunt, and i grew up with my nieces and nephews as if they were my brothers and sisters and all my sisters were already grown. so it wasa little different from other families, but it's fine.

Answer 5

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