my bf and i live together already but we are moving to our own place(we live with his mom). the problem is that, i earn twice as much as he does. we plan to split everything in half of course but how can i make HIM feel like the man?? i mean, he is always broke and i'm the one with money! i cant say i'll support him financially because that's not even right. what can I do?? i need advice on how to make it work in our home with out having problems about money.. i know men are macho's and THEY want to be the one's earning more but what can I do???
2007-11-02 11:35:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
should i pay more????? hmmm...
2007-11-02 11:42:21 · update #1
I make twice as much as my fiance does. Thank heavens he's not insecure and it doesn't bother him. We split the bills so that we pay in proportion to our incomes. Because I make twice as much, I cover 2/3 of the household expenses. That way, we both have our own spending money in proportion to what we make and it works out fine. Neither of feels dependent on the other. (And, just my two cents, but if your boyfriend doesn't feel like a man just because your income is higher than his, then you have bigger problems than figuring out how to split the expenses.)
2007-11-02 12:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This was all about money, then all of a sudden he's a cheater. What I can tell you is that the stuff from Ikea is junk and will break very quickly. Most young people start out with a little old stuff. You are being kind of a spoiled brat. You aren't compromising. You think you are, but you really want it all your way. Anyway, if the guy cheated on you as recently as last year, I would anticipate that he'll do it again soon, and this will all be moot.
2016-05-27 02:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by freeda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he seem to have a problem with it or are you making assumptions? Don't go looking for problems if there aren't any. There's absolutely nothing wrong w/ a woman making more than a man and many MODERN men understand that now. I will agree that many men get their egos bruised a little when their partners make more. The key is to let him know what a man he is in other ways. Like making sure you say things like "you know you're the only one who can make me laugh this hard, right?" or "you make me so happy." Let him know how much you NEED him in other ways than financially. And when it comes to moving to your own place, be sure to sit down and go over the expected expenses and dole out responsibilities. Be sure that you pay whatever is in YOUR NAME. So, don't let him pay the electric bill if the electric is in your name. It will just get confusing and a sore spot if he misses a few payments because guess who's credit that messes with? Whoever's name is on the bill - which would be YOU. So, just make sure YOU are in charge of paying any bills that have your name on them because that will effect your credit. If he wants to screw up his own credit, that's another thing. If the 2 of you are interested in making the r'ship long term though, it's important you be able to discuss financial issues like adults and make plans.
2007-11-02 11:42:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He, he and me, what about we?
If you're going to pretend you're married, why are you "splitting" the bills? Just pay them from a joint account. Who cares about the money?
Since you are asking about the money, I would take it that the issues bothers you more than it does him....
macho or not, I sure wish my wife made more than I do.... I wouldn't move in together until you resolve the issues you have with his lack of earning power...
2007-11-02 11:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by jerry kaye 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to do something in order for him to feel like a man, then he's not a real man.
My advice is to not make an issue about your incomes. He can either deal with the reality of the situation, or he can't. You can always get married and have a joint account. Then your standard of living will be exactly the same.
2007-11-02 12:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by mt75689 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this a man you plan on marrying someday? Who makes how much really shouldn't matter. And sense it dose you need to pay more cause you make more and that way he isn't broke all the time.......sorry
2007-11-02 11:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him pay the least expensive bills. That's what my boyfriend and I do. He pays the more expensive bills, and I pay the least. That way, I have money left over and I can get things for myself or take him out as a treat.
2007-11-02 11:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for him to stop wasting his money and you need to set up a budget for him or you will be supporting him very soon
2007-11-02 11:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Matter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus...I wish my wife earned more then me. I don't believe in all that macho earning crap. He needs to be more mature if it is bothering him.
2007-11-02 11:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by Hammer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you split shared costs proprtionally to your relative earning power? Then if he want to pay more, its his responsibility to get paid more!
2007-11-02 11:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋