Why do men keep hitting on me?

Question

I'm an attractive woman in her early thirties with a husband and two kids. Even though everyone knows my status, all my colleagues keep hitting on me and tempting me with illicit encounters. It's been hard to resist sometimes and just a week ago I nearly slept wih my gorgeous colleague. Someone tell me why this is and how should I try and stop being tempted.

Answer 1

Well, you have let them know you are married but, in your actions you have let them know you are free.....shame on you. Almost sleeping with another man then you must have been letting him do things you shouldn't have. Step up and say no you are married and, if they can't respect that then you need to limit your dealings with these people...

Answer 2

Because you are the type who does not go looking for it? ALso if you get it, yeah go ahead enjoy it but also maddeningly enough it will make them want you all the more. Keep it to yourself and remind yourself that half these men would give up if you were single mum..as they would not be there for you. They are not wanting love, just hitting on you - I mean 'illicit encounters' - sound tacky to me. What are we talking about - carpet burns from the office floor or deflowering the boardroom here ..LOL!! Hmm..so juvenile. It's a very quick and cheap thrill they are after - so not flattering really. Wheareas you have a hubby so stick with him and go look at the singels section - all those lonely women who do not have a man..now that is awww....and whatever you do don't go giving them advice - they'll be well annoyed with you!! :)

Answer 3

Does your husband hit on you and make you feel sexy and desirable? I ask because it's possible that because (IF) you aren't getting it at home, you are more open to it at work. Also, because (IF) you aren't getting it at home, you find it harder to resist, and feel more tempted by it. Keep in mind, that was all Only IF you are Not getting that same treatment from your hubby. One way to avoid it is to avoid those co-workers as best you can.
One way to focus the "wanton" feelings these colleagues bring out in you is to think only of your husband. When you start feeling "hot and bothered", get away from the person who made you feel that way, like go to the restroom or your private office alone, and close your eyes and think of your husband - maybe even give him a call and let him know how much you miss him and give him a hint of the things you intend to do with him when you both get home.

No matter how you dress or act or talk, do not fall into the "standard" way of thought that it's "your" fault - it's a sad society that blames the female and not the male when Both are at fault!! Now ACTING on those impulses these colleagues seem to bring out in you IS your choice, your doing and ultimately your fault. So definitely avoid the temptation altogether if you cannot refrain from acting on those impulses.

If your husband flirts with you, and does things to make you feel desirable, then in all honesty, you have no reason to feel "more" attractive simply because your colleagues flirt with/hit on you.
Perhaps you are sending out signals that tell them you are interested and would be open to a "dalliance" - and I don't mean the way you dress, act or even talk. I'm talking something that is a combination of all that, and something more.
Any woman can dress provocative, and speak and move in a seductive manner ... that does Not insure any male will react to her in a positive manner, flirting with her, hitting on her, tempting her. She may have one or two interested - those would be the "any sex will do" guys. She needs to have that "something more" going on that just gets all the males attentions ... that's the "magic".

My advice to you ... Focus on your husband - lavish your seductive feelings on him and you will definitely "reap the rewards" in his retaliation. Each time your colleagues flirt with you, remind yourself you are married - and then remind them and walk away.

Best Wishes

Answer 4

First of all, ignore them. Second, stop thinking every guy that makes eye contact with you wants you. I work with someone like that and everyone talks about how she thinks everyone wants her and talks us all to death about how this guy hit on her and that guy was looking at her. Puhleese! Realize you have a great husband and family, which is what you chose, and stop trying to fabricate something to mess it up. You will be the loser in the end. Oh, and stay out of places that could get you into an "illicit encounter".

Answer 5

The tempted part is all up to you. Do you do the bad thing or do you stay right with your husband? As for guys hitting on you, I'm sure if you tell one or two you're not into that sort of thing the whole office will know, and the offers will stop. I think being that you let them continue, you like it, you like the rush of it. All women love the attention of a man even if it isn't their husband. Just remember, if you ever cross that line there's no turning back, it will be like a drug and an addiction. You won't be able to get enough and you will go farther and farther, until the marriage is over, and your life is turned upside down. Good Luck

Answer 6

Two major aspects of marriage are "Trust" and "Respect" and obviously your husband trusts you but you dont trust yourself , what kind of signal's are you sending to these co-workers? do you brush up against them? do you touch their arm's and laugh at stupid comment's or joke's ? are you wearing tight short skirt's , low cut top's ?.

1st step to keeping the office tard's off your tail is start dressing appropriately , wear loose hanging slacks with a white or red top with a matching jacket over the top covering all your womanhod , stop touching them and brushing up against them.

Maybe remember that you have a husband and two children and how your flirtatious behaviour will effect them when the temptation become's to much and you succumb to your own insecurity about your sexuality to someone your not married to , this is really what this is all about anyway's , it's not about look's it's not about what you can give it's about YOU and your inability to just stay happy with the person you swapped vows with. Plenty of office cheat's will go for any woman look's really has nothing to do with it , it's just all about which chick will open her leg's 1st and for how long so your attitude about being hot is just a symptom of your insecurity.

You need to find out where this insecurity came from , is your husband not paying you enough attention? were you abused physically as a child? You need counciling so you can deal with this before it turns into the end of your life as you know , your kid's deserve better in a mother and you know it.

Answer 7

Well if you are being tempted to sleep with a colleague you might be giving your male co-workers ideas that they might just be able to get you to follow through. If you are flirtatious in ANY way and NOT completely stopping their advances they will continue to try until they succeed. My ex-wife had an affair with a man she worked with and it started out like you. She never said. NO! I am married and I don't do that and or never reported the behavior to her employer because she wanted it to happen. Started out with a "simple" lunch date and well now we are divorced. Sounds to me like you like the attention by your statement it's been hard to resist and you almost did sleep with someone in your office. If you love your husband and your family put an end to the advances once and for all. If not you WILL end up divorced. It's up to you.

Answer 8

You have to start looking more married and acting it... You could be the most beautiful woman in the world but if you acted married (really married) guys would not hit on you.. I bet if you work in a office you dont have a picutre of you and your husband so people can see it... How often do you talk about your husband in front of other guys? Likie i.e. they are talking about football or golf..... say hey we saw that ball game in fact me and (Husbands name) are thinking on going to a game soon. Or my husband plays pretty good golf etc etc etc be less a sex symble.. I dont mean that to be mean, I just know nothing is worth cheating on a loving and good husband... Good luck... Grant M in Pennsylvania

Answer 9

When a guy hits on me the first words out of my mouth is " I'm married". and I don't further any other conversation. If you act flirtatious and giggly around a bunch of dudes, they are going to think they can score with you, married or not. And maybe they can! You said you almost slept with that one guy. Get a job in a nunnery where you wont be tempted. Unless you like women..

Answer 10

I think you answered your own question: "It's been hard to resist sometimes . . ."

So you like it, and you are giving off messages in this respect. Why do you like it? Apparently you only want to go so far, and you almost went too far a week ago. Can you talk to someone about this, like your husband? I don't mean to offend you, but would you like to have an affair?

Maybe you want to just play with another man, like kissing or something. I do not know; but it does sound like, you enjoy the attention.

Answer 11

You may be unavailable but you could be sending off signs that you are available. Do you flirt with your colleagues or do you appear easy by wearing low cut clothing or dressing inappropriate? Married or not, men will still approach you but its up to you to put them in their place and tell them that you are married. If you entertain them then they will continue trying. So don;t even entertain the conversation when it starts to turn inappropriate.If that doesn't work start talking about sexual harrasment in the workplace.....I bet that will get their attention. As for you, its okay to be attracted to other people but when you start acting out that attraction you have just betrayed your marriage and your husband.