I have a sex problem with my wife!!?

Question

She is just satisfied when I'm touching her private with hand, during intercourse, no other way, sometimes my wrist gets pain because of that, instaed of enjoing the sex I have to concentarte how I'm rubbing her. and it's a turn off for me. sometimes I'm thinking oh god sex again, what a hard job.
I can't tell her cause she is too sensitive and I love her and I think she can't do anything about that. is there any cure? I would prefer not to use any sex toys. sometimes I think it's not a big deal but sometimes I think it may ruin my marriage. I'm totaly confused.

Answer 1

When you are on top try making sure your abdomen stays tight to her body and as you thrust make sure your body is rubbing on her clit.You will have to push that part of your body down harder as you do this,moving your entire lower body as you go and not just your hips.I have used this on women that need their stimulus to come from their clit to orgasm.

Answer 2

Okay for starters Congrats on being able to satisfy your wife in any way. :) I think it is admirable that you would be so focused on pleasuring her that you would do it until your wrist hurts. Seriously.
Anyway, my hubby and I had a similiar issue years ago. I could only get "there" during oral and he would do it until his tongue hurt and was literally sore for 2 days. I, myself, realized that this had to be bothersome to him so I suggested us trying other way and other things to pleasure each other and I am sooooooooooooooo glad that I did. What you need to do is suggest trying different positions and different techniques with your wife. I am sure she will be receptive. What person wouldn't want to try new and different things. Take control and have lots and lots and lots of foreplay. Manually stimulate her a while and then do it orally. You can always have intercourse a while and then go back to playing. You may have to tell her that you are having a physical issue with your wrist if this doesn't help. It would be awful for a marriage, that may be otherwise good, end over something like this. Oh, also...why are you so against toys? There is nothing wrong with introducing toys into your relationship. It spices things up! Try it, you may end up liking it.

Answer 3

I think the best thing would be to try and speak to her.

Hope this helps, Some women are aroused with close touch, You could try letting her go on top and rubbing really close to each other and i know you said no sex toys but this really may save your hand. buy a ring for your you know what. They have what is shaped like a bullet on them so that it will rub her the way she likes leaving you to use your hands for other things and maybe enjoy sex again.

Ask her to experiment other positions with you, see if you can find another way to please each other so that both of you are comfortable. Make it into a sexy game so she doesn't feel like your complaining.

I do think it is unfair if she doesn't take your feelings into consideration. Sex should be something that you can be open about with each other and feel relaxed enough to experiment.

Answer 4

Try having sex with her first before you concentrate on her orgasm - by that time she will be close to coming anyway and it won't be so hard for you. You must talk about this with your wife even if she is sensitive. Tell her that you are not feeling satisfied during your love making and that you need her help. I wouldn't rule out sex toys - probably easier for you but get your needs met first. I don't want to share too much but I know where you are coming from. Good luck.

Answer 5

It's just a cruel fact of nature that women aren't built to receive sexual pleasure in the same way that men are. Before we were married, my wife told me that she believed that people were responsible for their own sexual release. That was a load off, believe me. I just never worried about it after that. But we always had great foreplay, I never had a problem with manual stimulation because I think we were both really primed for it. If it became bothersome, I stopped for just a moment, and then I'd resume. Until I couldn't stand it anymore, that is, then, BAM! It was my turn!

Answer 6

Looks like you are both unwilling to budge. She won't try to enjoy herself without your hand and you won't consider the use of toys. So what do you want? A wrist strengthening video?

Stop being so intimidated by toys. You love your wife, right? Time to love her right. Go to the sex shop and get you a vibrating ******** with a clit stimulator.

Answer 7

Just be more open and talk during sex. Tell her what you would like and ask her what she wants. The more things you try the more ways she will find to get satisfied.

Answer 8

The easiest way would be if you get her to go on all fours - go behind her and it won't hurt your wrist that way. It will be much more stimulating for her - don't go straight in... push down toward the front, stimulating that area.

Good luck.. you'll work it out :) don't let somethinglike that ruin your marriage :)

Answer 9

The pain in the wrist is not a good thing, you could get arthritis, the pain is telling your head, STOP, this can truly cause problems in the future if you don't stop it.
You will have to tell your wife, she loves you, she will understand.

Answer 10

Many women need stimulation on their clitoris to get pleasure out of intercourse -- I had a couple of girlfriends who were like that. Fortunately they weren't shy about it, and were happy to do it themselves when we were having sex in a position where it wasn't easy for me to do it for them.

For women who need this, it's not something that can really be changed -- that's what they like, what works for them. It's not something that can be "cured", or even that needs to be. Different people like different things, and a good lover finds out what their partner likes and gives it to them, while making sure that their own needs are met too.

I'm glad that she has figured out that this is what she needs, and that you know this, and have been giving it to her. That's a great start. But it sounds like the position you've been using isn't always comfortable for you. The two of you need to work on this together. The most important thing is that the two of you talk to each other about this, that you work together to find a solution that works well for both of you and gives both of you what you need. There are a lot of possible solutions, and what you probably need to do is find several of them that all work for you, and use a variety of them, different ones at different times, so you're not always doing exactly the same thing -- that would get boring, as you've already found.

Here are a few suggestions of things that you could try:

1) Rather than you touching her there, maybe sometimes she could be touching herself there while you are inside her. She may be shy about this, but many men find seeing this exciting, if you let her know that you don't mind or think less of her for this, and that seeing it excites you (if it does), that her being willing to do this infront of you is a sign of love and trust, hopefully she will get over it. She will know just how she wants to be touched at what time, so she should be able to do a good job of it -- you might even learn more about how she likes to be touched by watching her

2) Maybe you should try other positions that are easier on your wrist. If you aren't already doing this. positions where you are behind her with your arm reaching around often make this easier. Another possibility is to have her lying on her back with one or both knees raised, you beside her on your side lying at right angles to her (sort of a "T" shape).

3) I know you said you would prefer to avoid sex toys, but there are a number that are designed specifically for this sort of thing: rings that the man wears around the base of his penis with a vibrating or stroking part that rubs against her clit with each thrust. Or there are handheld toys that you or she could use on her clit, such as a small vibrator.

4) You could try having sex where your penis isn't inside her, but instead is between her outer lips rubbing directly against her clit. This will require using a lot of lubricant to make it confortable for both of you. There are number of positions where this can be made to work, either from in front, or from behind with her thighs clamped around your penis.

5) You can simply take turns at being pleased. You lick or stroke her or do whatever she likes until she has had all the pleasure she wants, and then she has sex with you in whatever position or way you most like. After that, she might feel like some more. If you're lucky, you could spend all day taking turns...

6) There may be other places apart from her clit that she would like to be stroked. Her breasts, nipples, anus, mouth, the back of her neck, her hair, any or all of these could be sexy for her. Find out what she likes, it may be that there are other things you could be doing that would give her as much pleasure as what you have been doing for her.