I had a friend I was close with for a long time. We have been growing apart because he has changed a lot (in a negative way). When he was losing all of his friends, I stayed by his side.
But I got sick of the way he was acting as well, and I stopped being his friend. He apoligized, and I became his friend again. But then he started acting like a jerk towards me again, so I stop hanging out with him. This happened about 8 times.
I don't do this with ANY of my other friends!
I noticed that he didn't mean his apologies, and just said them to look like the good person in the situation. So I just told him that we could try to get along, but I didn't want to be friends with him again. We could just be like associates.
Was I right to do this? I think I gave him enough chances. And I know him well enough to realize that he didn't mean it when he said sorry. I don't feel guilty or anything, so I don't think I was wrong.
Some of the things he use to do to me were:
He use to talk bad about me behind my back, he would try to embarrass me in front of other people to act 'tough' or 'bad'.
He would make fun of me, the way I dressed, how much money my parents made(because he is from a family that is well-off), who I hung out with, and how I looked.
And he treated his girlfriend (who is my best friend) really bad. He did all of these things to her, and it made her really sad, but she let him do it.
And what REALLY made me SOOOO angry with him was what he said the other day. On Halloween, my friend passed away in an accident. Nov. 1st was my friend's (not the one that died) birthday, and he said,"Thanks to him dying, nobody will remember that it is my birthday!!"
What do you think?
2007-11-02 10:25:39 · 12 answers · asked by . 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
To me, a true friend would not be laughing or making fun of their friends in a mean way. Some may tease in a joking manner, but it doesn't sound like your "Ex" friend would be teasing. If he knows it bothers you and continues to do it, You are definitely doing the right thing. True Friends don't hurt each other intentionally.
He sounds a bit selfish in saying that about his birthday. I know you have better true friends than that. You can be cordial to him, but you do not have to be his friend.
My condolences to you and your friends family of the friend who passed away.
2007-11-02 10:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe he said that at the end. No one should ever say something like that. I had a friend like that once. We were very close unstill I had to move away. I never told him that I liked him more than a friend. When we got to the middle school together I seen that he changed. He was a kid who did bad in school and was hanging out with the wrong people because he wanted to be popular. I asked him out and he said no then I asked him if we could still be friends and he said no. At that point I knew he changed and that wasn't the friend that I had a crush now. I don't talk to him now and its 4 year later. We look at each other but never say anything. I'm waiting for him to do the right thing and if he does then I will give him another go. If he is still the same way then I will not be friends with him. Do the same thing as me. Give him one more go and if he's changed to make you happy, then he is a good friend. But if he stays the same, then he is not worth it.
You did the right thing. Absolutely.
2007-11-02 10:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend most likely has an undiagnosed personality disorder. If you don't want to put up with this behavior for the rest of your life, then you'd best cut ties with him. He actually has very low self-esteem. He sounds very much like he has traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It isn't his fault, he can't help it, but he still needs to be held accountable for his behavior. Look it up online and see if it rings a bell with you. My boyfriend of 23 years has it. He actually has gotten better, but I'm the one who had to change. I had to stop allowing him to manipulate me and get me upset. I just changed the way I reacted to him and changed my expectations of him. And whatever you do, DON"T PUT HIM DOWN! ALWAYS PRAISE HIM COPIOUSLY FOR THE SMALLEST THING!!!!
2007-11-02 10:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by sundsqk321@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are wrong at all but whati think you are a fool for is that you should have basiclly left the moment he started acttiing like that to begin with no lost love but you are to nice for your own good friends dont act the way he did
2007-11-02 10:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay like assosiates just because if he's being a jerk he doesnt deserve your friendship what you did was ok. Sorry about your friend mat he R.I.P.
2007-11-02 10:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by nicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk and you did a good thing.....I would've done the same thing. Let him be a loner and soon enough, he'll realize his wrongs.
2007-11-02 10:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Philly_Mami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being his doormat. Move on. This guy sounds likes he is a total loser and is going nowhere. You deserve better friends.
2007-11-02 10:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by MJ MCK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should dump him as a friend.Doesn't sound like he is much of a friend if he is dumping on you all of the time.If he keeps talking crap about you and your friends,email me and I will tell you what you and your frinds can do to straighten him out.It is not nice,but it would be effective.
2007-11-02 10:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by jonasruxpin 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you've given him too many chances.
the first couple times you say sorry, it's ok,
but he obviously doesn't mean it.
you didn't do anything wrong, and he's done
a lot of rude things to you and others.
it's time for you guys to move on.
2007-11-02 11:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by jkyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If many people talk same thing about somebody that means 85-95% thru...
2007-11-02 10:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by MCA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋