How to spice things up?

Question

My husband and I have been married 12 years, we have 4 children. For most of those years I have been a stay at home mom. I've been working for a few months now. He works late hours and by th time he gets in I'm either in the bed about to go to sleep or already asleep. We use to have so much fun together, but now between our jobs, and the kids we don't get anytime for each other. Our relationship just seems so bla and dull. Any suggestions on how to spice thing up to bring this relationship back to life?

Answer 1

Every relationship or family is different just as every individual is different. We have one day of the week set aside to be with each other. Just so happens it is Wednesday; nice to get together midweek. We always make love even if we don't actually have sex. Nonsexual lovemaking includes massages or just carressing each other and talking. Other times we do have sex, from tender to savage. Often we go out for a coffee in the afternoon, just the two of us to talk and be together.

We also are in a group pf aficionados of bondage and discipline and other realted sorts of kink. We get a lot of ideas there and when we practice at home it really "spices things up!" We have friends who are swingers. After a long talk we decided that swinging is not for us , but many couples find it very satisfying.

From you question I get the impression that the main prob is that you just don't have time. Try setting up a special day every week. And just because you are married doesn't mean you can'ty go out on a date. Plan ahead, make use of relatives or get a sitter if you don't have servants.
I'll give you some links that might help.

Have fun. It is very important that you both make an effort. We have been married 19 years and have found this to be very good for us.

Answer 2

You said by the time he gets home you are in bed, or going to sleep, or almost a sleep. Trying going to be naked, turn the lights off if you have to, or wear a sexy negligee instead of pajamas etc, anything out of the ordinary to surprise him will help, the laying in bed naked works pretty good especially if you accidentally fall asleep and you don't normally sleep that way! Leave him a dirty note on his side of the bathroom mirror etc... to wake you up etc, those are things you can do now instead of waiting for a weekend or time alone, find it while the kids go to bed, the average adult doesn't need as much sleep anyways, so give up another hour or so of the sleep you have been getting during the week to have that time with him.

Answer 3

Well i havent been married that long but i suggest both of you taking one night off a month for time together go try something new or light candles, put on soft music and spend a night in the bedroom by yourselves, i have two small children so if your kids are young of age try taking a family vacation sometimes that helps spice things up by enjoying time with all of your family if not try looking on www.lovingyou.com it has good suggestions

Answer 4

Make time for each other. Pick a day of the week and make it YOURS. Get the kids a sitter (bonus: overnight at someone else's house while you and the hubby stay home).

Spend the evening -- and the night -- reminding yourselves why you got married in the first place. You know what turns him on...do it, and he'll (I would hope) reciprocate.

It won't happen overnight, but a crazy night like that, and HONEST EFFORT every day to do little things for each other (even if it's just giving him a long, sexy kiss before he leaves for work)...ought to fire things back up again.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I think it is VITAL to go and do date night once a week!!! For sure! Even if it is DATE LUNCH or something; it sounds like your schedules are hectic so try and find a babysitter to come over even just for a couple hrs. If you have a close family member who you trust, that would be great too since you wouldn't have to pay for babysitter! I think date night are great....rub his feet if you get a boost of energy, massages...even make sure you get a good french kiss daily!!!

Answer 6

Just make time for each other and do not be afraid to wake each other up to spend a little while together. If each of you spend a little extra effort to express yourself to each other it will go a long way.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Schedule outings(dinner,movies,sport games,church or something that the family can spend time together) I would consider something relaxing.