Should i keep the baby or have an abortion?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 mths,we met whilst travelling at the beginning of the year.I quit everything back home to go away.I found out last week i was pregnant and told my boyfriend and he isnt interested one bit in having the baby.We are both from different countries which doesnt help and have both just moved on to nz for 6mths.He has a good job here and im just doing housekeeping.Please can anyone give me some advice?Im 26 and hes 28.

Answer 1

No brainer. Keep the kid. You will never regret it.

Answer 2

You are 26 years old. Your body is in its prime for haveing a child. If he is not interrested in a child, then so be it. You may never get this chance to have a child again. You could be a great mother, and you should keep the baby. It is not the childs fault it was conceived, so don't take its shot at life away from it. Becomeing pregnant is a risk you take when you have sex unprotected. You made that choice, and you should be reponsible for your actions. Reguardless of what your boyfriend does, that child will love you no matter what, and there is nothing in this world better than haveing a beautiful child that loves you uncinditionally. You will do the right thing. The only time I would ever say yes to an abortion, is if it resulted from rape, and that is not the case here. A child will bring out all the best in you. You will love it.
Good luck.

Answer 3

The important question is not whether he wants the baby - he wanted the sex obviously so the upshot of that is a baby - or does he not know about the birds and bees? If he didn't want a baby, he shouldn't have been playing with you in the first place! So I'm afraid I have no time for his pathetic reaction. If you want the baby then its important that you think about support for now and in the years to come. I mean emotional and financial. Have you got friends and family back home who would help? If you want to have the child, you may have to consider going home to do that. There is no perfect time to have a baby but at 26, you are not a silly youngster! I suppose in your shoes, I would be wondering if this might be the one and only chance I ever get at being a parent and if that is the case, do I want to get rid of it? You both had sex as mature adults. Abortion is not a form of contraception - its there for medical purposes and in that, I include psychological problems. It is not to correct a 'mistake'. I wouldn't take abortion lightly and I am sure you don't either. I would, however, be very concerned about your bf. He isn't much of a man to not face up to the consequences of his actions.

Answer 4

You both should seriously look at your lives and what you have created. We choose what we want and receive benefits or consequences from our actions. I am pro-life. Life is choice driven. A baby in the womb is life. You created it in love not hate. You were not raped nor were you forced. This baby may be the break both of you need to start fresh.
Children are not diseases they are a gift from God. We just do the act and something miraculously transforms in our body. I don't know how a sperm and an egg could come together and form life,a baby. How it does, but it does.
Get counseling from a minister and get support from a local church. Even if he (your boyfriend) does not want to do the right thing, you are to be led by truth and what's right concerning you and that child growing inside of you. D0Not be led by what you feel because our emotions are ever changing. Even though it's much to fear, be not afraid. I've been there but kept to my faith. I have ten (10) children and ain't dead from it but blessed beyond measure!
See if your family would take the baby or give it to a couple that want children. There are people (couples) that will support you to have the baby and pay you for giving it to them. Consider adoption rather than abortion. Abortion is so serious and it effects you greatly. There will be unrest in your soul with, I could have or I should have. This is called guilt. Do what your heart says and not your head!

Answer 5

As you asking for advice I believe in your heart you dont want to have an abortion or you just would have gone for it and as the others said "lived to regret it". At the end of the day it is 'terminating a life' that you have created. Most people would consider this a blessing :)

Firstly I think you should try and get support from either a support group or ring a family/friend. Your boyfriend is obviously going to be a negative influence so although it is unfar of me to judge I would say by his reaction He isnt in your relationship for the long haul & I think you probably know that when you are asking advice from annoymous strangers.

Anyway .... of course you should NOT abort your precious baby... if there is no way you can keep the baby you should consider fostering or adoption.... give your child a good life... you will sleep at night and in years to come I am sure you will be proud of yourself

Good Luck with your decision :)

Answer 6

I see you have a lot of opinions on this and you may not even get to my response but I'm going to give it anyway. This decision will have to be yours. No matter what you decide you will have to deal with it the rest of your life. And no matter what you chose there is no easy way out. If you have it you may be raising it alone. If you give it up for adoption you will wonder the rest of your life if you did the right thing and where is your child now. If you have an abortion you will deal with the guilt the rest of your life. I believe in choice. I think it is each person's own decision to do what they think is best for them. But coming from someone who had an abortion when they were younger I don't recommend abortion. Some may think it is the easy way out but it is not. You wonder every year what your child would have been like. Your beliefs may change as you get older and then you feel so guilty for making a selfish decision. No I don't recommend it but I will not judge anyone for having to make a decision on an unplanned pregnancy. My prayers are with you. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Hi honey, It is your body not his! I think you want this baby but are frightened of losing your boyfriend too? All i can say is i fell pregnant and i was only with my daughters father 5mths and we are closer than ever. He cant love you in the way he thinks he does because he would be over the moon about this, or he is in total shock. But he has no right to ask you to have an abortion it is selfish, you have left everything back home DONT QUIT THIS PREGNANCY it will be the biggest regret you will ever make, i cant imagine life without my wee girl. The chances are if you keep the baby he will either be there for you or not, the chances are that he will split up with you if you have an abortion anyway, because he sounds like a selfish little **** who is only thinking of himself, not you, im very sory for coming across horrible but it is the only way i see it. If you had an abortion you will always be thinking of your child you gave away. Their are lots of people who would love to be in your position just now. This is a blessing to you honey please dont throw it away. Take care xxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 8

First off, why didn't you use protection? Especially knowing your situation (living in different countries, job, etc). Do yourself and everyone else a favor and keep the baby full term. During these next few months, decide whether you want to keep the baby yourself or give it up for adoption. This baby has a beating heart and deserves the life YOU and your boyfriend have created. Do not murder this baby just because your boyfriend isn't ready to be a father. Have a heart and do what's right. You will never forgive yourself for murdering your unborn child. Good luck and I hope in the future, you will take the necessary precautions on avoiding unwanted pregnancies.

Answer 9

You mention his feelings on the matter but not your own feelings is there a reason behind that?

What is your beliefs on abortion?

A baby will require stability/love and all your time - Can you give it that?

Are you willing to give up you lifestyle and put your current dreams on hold to devote every waking moment to another, who will give you a smile as payment?

From the sound of your post you will be on your own initially. What support networks will you have?

I dont mean to be harsh, but you need to be truly honest with yourself and face realities.

Abortion for me is a no go area and i would not recommend or encourage it, but i am mature enough to recognise that not everyone else feels the same way.

You have some really hard decisions ahead of you and good luck. You must do what you feel in your heart and head what is right.

Answer 10

Do what you feel is best. I think personally you should keep it, although he probably wont have any part in the childs' life the baby will be better off without someone like that anyway, plus he will have to pay for the child. You wont regret it, having a baby is the best thing in the world and youre very lucky. it will be scary at first and probably very hard doing it alone but im sure you will get plenty of support and its all worth it in the end. but think it through carefully dont let anyones opinions effect your decision, if you think you can cope in all aspects then go ahead if not then reconsider. what do you want to be doing in the next few years? does the child fit in with your plans? good luck.

Answer 11

Having sex is a great responsiability..Why didn't you use birth control...Now you have a living baby to decide what to do with...So here are your Options....Grow up accept your responsiability have and raise the child and make the Dad help financially...takes two to make a baby. Or have and give for adoption so at least the child has a chance for a good life Abortion should not be an option because it is so hard to get over the guilt of taking a life it's like ruining your own life.....and in the future take care of yourself ....use birth control!