We have a 12 year old neighbor girl who comes over EVERY day after school. I don't mind her coming over once in a while, but she brings her friends, cousins, anyone who happens to be visiting. I have a 12 month old son, who she adores, but she is always changing his diaper (even when he doesn't need it), changing his clothes, which makes tons of extra laundry. Today, I was so fed up, I didn't answer the door when she knocked. After pounding on the door for 5 minutes, she gave up and went home. And yes, her mother is home the entire time. Advice please?
2007-11-02 10:13:52 · 16 answers · asked by maria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
move
just kidding...
Talk to the little girl. Tell her that you appreciate all her help, and willingness to come over every day, but you are (make something up here if you're not willing to tell truth) thinking of remodeling the house, and you are expecting a lot of very important people in the next few days, and could she please stay home until further notice - after all the quotes and bid proposals come in, and remodeling is done. Of course, this will never happen, so she should stay back forever....
Ok, in the real world, you must talk to her. Tell her that you are greatful she has come so often to help you, but now you want to try to see if you can do it by yourself for a little while. When she keeps knocking, don't answer it. Call Child Protective Custody on the family. There may be something in her home that she needs escaping daily from, and you are her only safe haven. Talk to her about it first. Or don't, and call anonymously. Or just put a sign on the door that says no one under the age of (whatever your oldest child is or a random age good for you) is allowed in, as you don't want to expose your baby to unnecessary germs. Tell her it's to save your babies life. She won't like it, but if she loves your baby, she will try to honor his safety. Buy her a doll, and tell her that is her own special baby to take care of, not your child, and that you don't need the help anymore, but you are thankful she came beforehand. Find out what is happening at her house that she has to get away from. Report if necessary. Talk to her mom if none of these work. Call the police because she is stalking you. hahaha. If you act crazy, people won't bug you. Wig out on her. One day, tell her that you have decided to learn a new language, and unless she can speak it, she is not allowed in. Then speak gibberish every time she comes over, and lock her out when she can't reply.
2007-11-02 10:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by werbodalini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you sound like a very nice person to be putting up with her and at the same time I think she is really sweet because she is still young and loves your baby and wants to take care of him. I would suggest that you set up times for her to come over. Times when you would like someone to entertain him while you do some cooking or cleaning. Maybe even set up a schedule for her and say "on Monday, Wednesday would you like to play with my son for an hour?" Set a time limit and after the hour or whatever you want tell her "thanks for coming over I'll see you on Wednesday". It might give you a chance to get more things done. Plus if you have a schedule, hopefully those will be the only times that she drops in on you. Also when she first gets there tell her that he just needs someone to play with and that his diaper is clean and so are his cloths so we don't need to change him right now. After all he's not a doll, and diapers are pricey and the added laundry is never fun!
Hope this helps!! All the best!!
2007-11-02 10:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by Eternalsilence 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to approach it is to talk to the girl's mother nicely....tell her while you do enjoy her visits you are also very busy with baby, and chores and then ask if she could have a word with her daughter.....offer either a day or how many times a week (which you have already decided apon) the girl can visit....
...sounds like the girl is fascinated/infatuated with your baby, he's a living doll to her..and she might even be thinking that this is what it'll be like when she has her own baby.....it's normal at this age..lol she might even be auditioning for babysitting this way...but she needs to respect your boundaries too....if she doesn't then do what you did..don't answer the door...or if you do gently but firmly tell her baby's napping and today is not a good day....just because she's there doesn't mean you have to let her and her wagon train in......Good Luck.
2007-11-02 10:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, be an adult and deal with it, but politely...Tell little Suzy or whatever that she should really spend more time at her house, doing her chores or homework, or messing up her own house.
Speak to her mother and if her mother doesn't seem to care and neglects her 12 year old daughter invading your space, call the authorities or child protective services...unless you are illegals, then that would be a bad idea...LOL!
2007-11-02 10:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start visiting the neighbor with your 12 month old. After your kid tunes up a few times and ferociously fills his diaper, perhaps they'll get the clue.
2007-11-02 10:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is she has a real live doll to play with.... you baby!
Just tell her that she needs to not come every day. Tell her it will be fine if she comes on Monday Wednesday and Saturday.... or what ever your schedule works for you. But she shouldn't bring other people with her.
2007-11-02 10:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, grow a spine and tell her that you don't mind her visiting every so often but mind her visiting every day. And to please let you know in advance if she plans to visit and when. And not to bring her friends with her without asking you first. It's your house, so make the rules for her visiting and tell them to her. Geez, she's 12 and you are the adult. What's the problem?
2007-11-02 10:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her mother and explain why her coming over so much is starting to become a problem. Explain how you love having her over, but some limits must be set
2007-11-02 10:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is crazy! That would be annoying just maybe talk to the mother and tell her you do not mind for her to come over sometimes but you are very busy.
2007-11-02 10:17:31 · answer #9 · answered by Kell 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
just tell her that she can come over once a week or something she might be sad but explain to her why she cant come over just say like too much laundry you have stuff to do yourself and she might understand
2007-11-02 10:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋