Do you think that if you like sex marriage is not for you?

Question

Hi I just got married one 1/2 years ago and unfortunately my sexual life is almost GONE. My husband doesn't wanna have sex as often as I would like...I dont know what happened we used to do it every day more than once but since we got married it started to slow down really fast. We both travel a lot but even when we haven't seen each other in a few days he doesn't wanna do it....At night he just wanna watch TV and he's always tired....I'm really disappointed and I've talk to him several times so he reacts for a day or two and then we're back to the same NO SEX LIFE....I feel really depressed and actually if I had new it would be like this I wouldn't have married him, he's great and I love him, but I'm not ready to quit the SEX. I dont want to cheat but I guess he can be without sex and I can't. Will this will end up our marriage? I hear a lot of people saying they have a lot sex and my married friends are in the same situation than me..What's wrong????

Answer 1

Welcome to the wonderful world of MARRIAGE. LOL! Not all married couples are like this but the majority of the ones that I know are. It is so many times caused by the stresses of life, financial stress, fatigue..........there are just lots of reasons why people shut down sexually. My husband is the same way as your husband. He shuts down and doesn't want sex when life is stressful or he is worried about something. Me, on the other hand, I can have sex no matter what. It helps me relieve the stress and tension. My hubby and I used to have sex daily and sometimes numerous times a day and now I am lucky to get it twice a month. I know....that SUCKS. I have just learned to deal with it when we are in these ruts. Sometimes we get on track and for months things are great, but then we get into these ruts where things are not so great. Have you tried talking to him about this? Ask him what you can do to make things more enticing to him. I am not saying to take the blame for the lack of sex, but by asking him what you can do to make things more exciting and inviting it will make him think about it and maybe try to change the situation. It works for me. When we are going through a NO SEX phase I will ask my hubby what I can do to make things better and just by me asking things get better for a while...until the next phase. It is simply called marriage. Everything can't be a bed of roses all the time. There has to be compromises though. Your husband may be feeling bad about himself and believe it or not men do feel fat and unattractive just like women do. Make him feel desired and wanted. He will come around. Give it time and effort. Make things change. You can't sit back and just wait for them to change..you gotta make it happen. Good luck.

Answer 2

U guys need to go to a counselor and figure out what's going on. Talking to him won't help. I don't think lack of sex is the only problem here. Sex is the physical manifestation of what u feel for a person(supposed to be), and if he's not into it, then there's a problem(gosh, it's usually the other way around), and since he doesn't understand ur needs and can't fulfill them(or doesn't want to), then u need to find out y...and since he won't open up to u, u guys need outside help. Plus, maybe he feels he has u now, so y try...he's already won the prize. Just a guess. But u could try turning him on...u know, dress up a bit...dance a bit...etc. and see where that goes first. Watch a dirty movie together etc. Only use counseling as a last resort. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am not sure what the problem is. I feel that I would be making sure that while you are away that he is not the one playing. I have been married for 13 years. my husband still gets that sexy look in his eyes and I know what he wants. Chemistry is the key. If the chemistry is gone then the love is soon to follow. Try some counseling. meet him at the door with your long coat on and high hills. Take off your coat and SURPRISE. Add some spice to your relationship. If he doesn't respond then honey you have a problem, it is your husband. Again, look around for what may be his special someone, mystery woman. I am blessed to not have this problem. I can look my worse and mine still wants me. Yes, sex does diminish after you have been married for a long time, but not all together. We still have it 2 -3 time a week at the least. again, try to keep the fire burning. Us as women sometimes have to take the extra measure's to turn them on. Just try to think what you can do to make him think of you during the day, all day, and ready for you at night, most every night. Best of luck. I hope this improves your love life...

Answer 4

I think that all the husbands who wish they got more sex from their uninterest wives, and all the wives who want more sex from their uninterested husbands should all get together on a 3-day cruise!

Obviously you need to tell your husband that you have needs that he's just not satisfying. If he has any kind of a male ego at all, the last thing he'll want is a Peggy Bundy running around complaining about how she never gets it. If that doesn't phase him, then ask if it's okay for you start seeing other people? Not because you really want to, but just to see what his reaction is. Sex is a part of marriage. And whether it's the wife or the husband that fails to provide in this department, lack of sex or no sex at all is a breach of contract as far as I am concerned!

Answer 5

I feel for you because I'm in the same boat as you, but on the other side. Ive been married 5 years now and my sex life with my wife have went on a decline faster than a comet hitting this planet. My wife is beautful yet intelligent women, but when it comes to sex, she alawys give me excuses that she is tired or maybe tomorrow...turns out we have sex once in the bue moon ( once a month ). I'm 15 years older then her, she's 30 and I'm 44 and both of are in great shape, good health and have a steady income. When I Try to me romantic with her, she is not interested, when I try to be patient, she play head games with me. When I try to be the motivator she looses interest. When I met her she wasn't like this, if she is fooling around with another man and I found out, I will accept it and ask her to move out. I would somestimes talk with her about sex and declines to talk about it. So presently I'm thinking of divorcing her...uncontested divorce; because she denies me sex everyday. I hope you can resolve your sexual desires with your husband, if not...we just may meet each other at the Divorce Court.

Answer 6

Basically marriage before sex is marrying your significant other then having sex. Sex before marriage is basically having sex before getting married to that person. Personally for me, I believe in sex before marriage, because I think if your in a committed & healthy relationship which will eventually lead into marriage then have sex all you want & it also depends on the maturity level of the relationship and how serious each person is about the relationship, but overall this is just my opinion.

Answer 7

Hai Friend,
my advice is, sex is only the part of life. may be you did a mistake some where.please correct it first, Then all will be o.k. may be your husband having any problem with his job or any thing. Try to find out

After marriage
For men having lot of responsibility like To earn money, a his parents, about the payement to various loans, childrens,monthly expenses, festival expenses, vehicles.....

For womens -They only thinks about new films, new design sarees, sudhithar, jewellary, beautiful house, plasma tv, car and sex (weakly 7 days). Totally they want luxurios life.

How the women can get this all facilities?

Husband have to work hard, may be some times he tired or anything. Give him a chance

Try to talk with your husband and find out what problem he got. your are just married 1 years. you still having your life.Not tommorrow going to finish.

Best of luck

Answer 8

Your problem lies in this quotation: "I've talk to him several times so he reacts for a day or two and then we're back to the same NO SEX LIFE."

Your error is in talking to him about it. Stop talking about it and DO it! I can immediately think of at least three sex positions you could get into with a man sitting on a couch watching TV. Pick one!

Answer 9

Maybe you can look into things together that will help increase his sex drive. Both men and women can have issues with decreased libido because of lack of testosterone, depression, stress, adrenal fatigue, being plain exhausted, etc. Do a google search on decreased libido and see what you find. Guys are shy about speaking up about this kind of stuff...

I think the other thing you should consider is your relationship outside of the bedroom...maybe there are some things you can do to enhance your marriage/friendship. The fact that you wouldn't have married him if you knew it would "be like this" makes me wonder if you guys are lacking in this department.

Answer 10

Nothing's wrong you guys are just in a comfort zone. When he knows he can access it anytime the 'thrill' of the chase is gone. Start going out on dates together again. Meet him at a bar or club and pretend to not know each other. Stuff like that. Tell him that you don't want to step outside so you're going to turn to your toys and see if he's interested then