i know they never change but...should i give him a 100th chance?

Question

i was with my b/f for 3 years...i did everything for him..i gave him everything in me..he never really could give me 100% there was mnay problems in the realtionship..well i had broken up with him before for 2 months no contact and even dated another guy...i went back...all in all i broke up with him maybe 5 times but always went back. well finally i broke it off for good i was more then done with him and did not let him contact me for 40 days...then i let him email me..it was the same i need you i miss you crap...its been 2 months now and everyday im getting a email saying how much he loves me and how sorry he is and how wrong he was...i broke up with him before and he couldnt change..so why now? i was dead serious before and it was good for like a week when i came back..so what the heck why cant he just leave me alone..if he really loved me as much as he says wouldnt he have tried to keep me around..i dont get it...

and im not going back..noooo way

i worded the question wrong...i know they never change...but i dont understand after giving him 100 chances that he thinks i will go back again...ok is this better?

Answer 1

Change your e-mail address so he can't e-mail you any more....You have giving him chance after chance and nothing changes........So move on for good and, find a good man. Quit feeling sorry for this man!!!!

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is move on. Don't read his emails don't answer his calls. Move on. He is just sweet talking you into getting back together but in reality he is going to back to the same thing. You have done so many times before so what makes you think he is going to magically change in a day. No dear move on.. you have already wasted 3 years, why waste more. Someone who really loves you will come along when you are ready!

Good luck

Answer 3

I can only speak from personal experience. The 1 time in my life I did the breakup makeup thing, it didn't work out.

Breaking up is usually pretty serious and done for a good reason -- there's really no need to second guess your judgment, just move on.

It sounds like in this case, he still has some control over your emotions, and uses this to keep you torn up and to lure you back.

My advice: don't let him. Ignore phone calls, emails, letters, everything: Heal and move on.

Best wishes, hon'.

Answer 4

Its not love if both parties don't give a hundred percent and theres no trust. I dated a LOT before I met my husband, and it was only till I met him that I wanted to give a hundred percent to someone, and hes my one true love. Theres no doubt in my mind.

If he cant put forth the same effort into a relationship as you, then its probably best just to cut all ties now before a kid comes along and your stuck with eachother forever. You need someone whos going to be genuine and work at it as hard as you do. In any good relationship or marriage, you put the other person before yourself. But if its a bad relationship.. you have to decide whats best for you and keep playing games or just move on.

Answer 5

You seem to set yourself up for failure every time and he's noticed. It doesn't take a genuis to see the pattern. He knows if he just begs enough and says "sorry" enough, that you WILL go back to him. Prove him WRONG this time! What is it about this guy that you can't seem to stay away? Do you have low self-esteem or do you just enjoy being treated like crap? You DESERVE someone who will make you top priority, who shows you love in the way you need to be loved, and who makes it clear he wants to be with you. This guy sounds like a lame-a s s loser who can't get his act together. Ditch him and cut off ALLLLLLL communication with him! This is what keeps getting you in trouble! Change your cell phone number, BLOCK his email address, etc....whatever you have to do to make it CLEAR to him that you're DONE.

Answer 6

In that case, I'm confused as to what your question is. In your Additional Details, you say, "and im not going back..noooo way". But your question asks, "should i give him a 100th chance?"

If you have already decided you're not going back, no way, why are you asking if you should give him a chance? This is like saying, "I have definitely decided to walk to work today -- so, should I drive my car?" Huh?

Answer 7

Do you need to touch a hot stove 100 times in order to learn a lesson? Perhaps it's useful to focus on yourself and why it is that you accept such bad treatment in your love relationships.

See this great article:

Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself

http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html

For more free relationship advice from a couples and marriage therapist, visit http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com

Answer 8

You are just rebound don't go back to him he is not good for you find someone who really value you and not this loser her is not worth it at all he is just using you do not go back and tell him that all you can be is friends because you want to start a new relationship with someone who is ready to give you that 110% love that you need.

Answer 9

It's good that you can express yourself to us, but have you tried explaining this to him? He needs to know that you are 100% dead set against any kind of relationship with him. Let him know you want the contact to end once and for all.

Answer 10

I think you know the answer to your question. You need to get out of this terrible vicious cycle and move on. Put it behind you and tell him it's O-V-E-R! Change your phone and email if you have to. This sounds like a toxic relationship.

Answer 11

I might give someone a second chance, but I wouldn't even consider a 3rd chance. If you can't accept him the way he is, you need to stay away from him - and, more importantly, insist that he stays away from you so you can move on with your life.