Ok, here's the deal. I've only been married for 9 months. I am to the point where i can't stand to be around him anymore. He drives me crazy. I don't want to kiss him, hug him, or even at him.I don't know how to tell him. I'm afarid he will go crazy on me or something. Then on the other hand i've been close with this other guy for about a year now. He finally reveled to me that he is totally in love with me and when he gets back from iraq. He wants us to be together. What do i do?
2007-11-02 08:14:59 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honor your marriage vows and sever your ties to the second man. It's easy to think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The grass over there is dead, honey, and if it's not already dead you'll eventually kill it, too.
The fact that you've been getting attention from a guy you've known longer than you've been married is disturbing. Sounds like you haven't even given your marriage a fair shot, and that's not just unfair to your husband, it's cruel.
Clearly, you weren't ready to commit to marriage, but now that you in one honor your husband. Marriage isn't for silly, fickle girls. Focus on the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Love isn't a feeling, it's a conscious choice, a daily action.
Grow up, put your husband's needs and desires over your own (for a change) and be the wife you vowed to be.
2007-11-02 08:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to slow down. You need to cut off the relationship with the guy in Iraq. He's in a military/war situation right now, he's vulnerable just like you, and you both are playing with fire. If you end your marriage to be with the guy from Iraq, that pretty much means your a selfish person who doesn't take anyone or anything seriously, and that's lame.
Go to a counselor with your husband. Separate. Get your head back together. Give it time (and see NO other men). If you still can't stand him after 4 or 5 months, get a divorce. Just don't cheat yourself by jumping from man to man. You're not really dealing with your own emotions if you do that, and you'll really pay the price for that emotionally down the line.
2007-11-02 15:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by rrmorris45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for the bluntness of my response, but here goes.
No **** that you do not feel close to your husband. You didn;t even give it a chance. If my math is correct, then you met his other guy about 3 months before you were married. First of all, you never should have gotten married. Secondly, a person can not give their full attention to two people at once. While you were talking to this other guy, you were comparing him to your husband.
You are the actual cause of your unhappiness. You did not give your marriage a chance.
You should definitely divorce b/c your current husband does not deserve a selfish wife like you. Let him go now so he can be happy with someone that appreciates him.
Sorry for my ranting.
2007-11-02 15:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the problem with marriage today. People jump in quickly and jump out quickly. Marriage is real not a game. I bet you're in your early 20's. That doesn't matter. You can divorce him and wait on the guy from Iraq to come home and drive you crazy. What you're doing is wrong and until you do right, nothing good is going to come to you. You can't take care of the man you already have, what makes you think you can take care of another man? You can't..
2007-11-02 15:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by KSR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't tell why your new husband drives you crazy. Is he abusive? controlling? Or is it simply that the "new" has worn off?
OK so have you spoken about your feelings with your husband? If not, I suggest you do so right away. I'd get a counselor involved, too. Just to keep the peace.
As for your guy on the side - I'd cool that one off really fast.
In all honesty, I think you should concentrate on what's going on in your marriage instead of trying to find a new conquest.
2007-11-02 15:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Humm! Does he really get on your nerves? or do u find things to start an argument. Sounds to me, and don't take it personal, u r acting triflin'. U r committing adultery in your mind and with a guy who sounds like he is # 1 to his country and not u. U better thing very hard about what u r thinking about doing because when duty calls for this guy in Iraq again or (God forbids) something happen to him. You'll really be crazy, girl.
Think with your heart and not with that immature brain of yours
2007-11-02 15:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by crystal g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you?? You sound very immature. I have been married 32 years and it is not all wine and roses. There are ups and downs. You need to stick to your marriage and give it a chance. At least give it another year before you decide. If you still feel the same then you need to leave but I would think very carefully before you jump into another relationship.
2007-11-02 15:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by suzanne m 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK well i think you should tell your husband how you feel,and that it hadn't been working out for ages.At the end of the day i don't think you should worry about how he reacts too much because at the end of that line there's that guy from Iraq and you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. There's no point being with someone that you don't love.
2007-11-02 15:21:58 · answer #8 · answered by Emilie C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay with your husband..did you ever think that you are pushing your husband away b/c of this other man? Shame on you. You are married and should not be that friendly with anyone from the opposite sex. And what makes you think everything will be perfect with the guy in Iraq?
2007-11-02 15:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's people like you that have ruined the sanctity of marriage. For the sake of your poor husband divorce him. You never should have married him to begin with, Does nobody take their vows seriously? Grow up and don't ever get married again
2007-11-02 15:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by Me, again 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋