I really look forward to marriage when I am older. I am only 20 at the moment. However I am so paranoid about becoming pregnant. I feel this way because I think that my husband probably would not be attracted to me with the excess weight, and afterwards I would not have my figure. I guess I am a bit immature, but I just would want him to dislike me because I am getting larger. This is going to be a huge problem for me in the future and I am trying to overcome it, but it's difficult to find a man who doesn't want kids. Are my fears irrational?
2007-11-02 07:53:39 · 4 answers · asked by lesh 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think you are putting the cart before the horse on this one... If you marry someone it shouldn't matter if you get "fat" when you get pregnant.. Or if you don't get your shape back right away... If he's any kind of decent/loving man he should stick by you. However, it all depends on the guy you choose as your husband. If he's so stuck on looks than maybe he doesn't deserve to marry at all.... I would focus more on the here and now... Looks change it's a fact of life. Beauty afterall is only skin deep. Good luck
2007-11-02 08:02:27 · answer #1 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question.
I have the same fears, and have all my life until recently (I am now 32, married for over 3 years). I finally got to a point where I started to relax about all of those worries, but I was still worried about stretch marks, saggy boobs, etc. I take a lot of pride in my appearance and have always spent a lot of time and energy on it (vain? LOL, maybe!). I see all kinds of celebrities that have babies and get back into shape without a mark on them. However, the women in my family don't seem to do that. Lots of spider veins and stretch marks on each one of them from having children.
Ironically, I went to an OB recently to discuss getting pregnant, turns out I have a blood clotting disorder that would put me in a high risk category. Now I could care less about saggy boobs! I'm worried about much bigger things now! It kind of put it all in perspective - if you are ever at the point in your life when you want children, you will be less concerned about weight gain and spider veins, and all that will matter to you is your health and the health of your baby.
Hope that helps.
2007-11-02 15:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find a mature man (a REAL man, not one of those imitation "bad boy real-man" types) who loves you not only for you, but also for the extraordinary capability you have as a woman, he will not be put off by your pregnancy.
Rather, he will be in AWE of you!
(and if he's an extra-cool mature real man like me, he'll cherish your big belly and will want to take pictures of it!)
2007-11-02 15:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by HyperDog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they are. If your husband loves you, he loves you not because of the way you look, but because who you are. You have to want children. Don't have them if you don't want them because there are enough children in the world who have to live without parents. This may sound harsh, but I want you to think about the reality of the situation and not the fantasy you are clinging to. Accept yourself and love yourself, you are more than the togetherness of your parts.
2007-11-02 15:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋