the kids have left home, and you look at your spouse and think...who was I 25 years ago? what was I planning to do with my life, im too young to put on slippers and sit and watch TV but I owe this person too much to just walk out and start again. The marriage has been good, but we are both a little jaded and tired of each other. Any thoughts...
2007-11-02 06:34:35 · 25 answers · asked by Ernie77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do think it can be a critical time for married couples. It happened to me, plus a family tragedy. In the end, my husband left me for another woman, after 22 years together. I was devastated at the time but, on reflection, it was for the best.
Sixteen years on, I am a busy professional woman and financially independent. I have a partner but we don't live together and that works for us. Good luck.
2007-11-02 06:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm there! Only for me it's 26 years.
My challenge is that my wife is the classic "stick in the mud" type and getting her to expand her horizons in any adventure filled way has proven impossible. She wants to grow old and spend the rest of her days visiting with old ladies, canning jelly and cooking brownies.
Going on a cruise, taking her out on dates and such like the people here have suggested is all good and fine and we've done all that but after a year of it we've reached the limits and it's just not that entertaining to either of us anymore. What the younger posters here don't realize is that by now we've been there done that, a thousand times.
I'm not sure what the answer is yet but I'm working on it. I do know that I've had a couple of adventures on my own this last year and they were great, so I'm tending to think that I'm just going to have to focus a lot more on myself and less on us. It's sad in a sense but she just has no taste for anything but the familiar and I can't stand a life of brownies and chit chat. I guess the honeymoon is over.
So long story short I don't know, but you have to get out there and do stuff whether she wants to or not.
Feel free to email me.
2007-11-02 13:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by Duck! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
know EXACTLY what you mean. Been married 27yrs. Sons are 26 and 23. The eldest lives 3 doors away, the younger one still here. At 48 (husband 49) I feel I should be doing something before I get too old. Hubby is content to go to work, come home and watch TV/DVD, read the paper, have a can of beer with his dinner, then go to bed.............
Am joining an aerobics class, and am going to go to evening classes. Other than that, I don't know yet.
2007-11-02 13:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by shutyerfaceup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think you have 2 remember there was a reason why u loved this person..stay with them and go on a vacation just the 2 of u...get it bac to the way it used 2 b before u had kids. u spent so much time on your kids that you kinda forgot about your spouse...u guys drifted apart. now go back 2 the way things used 2 b and it will help a lot
2007-11-02 13:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For goodness sake nowis the time to start dating again - each other. When did you last go out for a meal, a movie, a walk in the woods or have a nice winter holiday together in the sun or even pay eachother a compliment. get on line and book that sunny holiday now (assuming you have passports) and surprise her. If you don't have apssports then book a holiday in the channel islands - DO IT NOW.
2007-11-02 13:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start dating each other again. Call her up from work and ask her out. Surprise her with reservations at a hotel or resort. Go to your favorite places and fall in love with each other all over again. Leave little surprises and love notes around for her reminding her of why you love her (or fell in love with her) Take up hobbies together...bike riding, hobbies, walking, garage sales, swap meets, take a class together at the college...something fun. Hold hands, make out in the back seat of your car, go on picnics. google cheap romantic dates or creative dates...no end to ideas. Bring the spark back!!!
2007-11-02 13:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Country 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely have a splurge on a long, long holiday and talk to each other. Learn who your wife/husband is again and their likes and dislikes, they're bound to have changed over the years! Get some of that old spark back with some romantic nights etc.
2007-11-02 13:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Xai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow all our kids are gone now and my hubby and I are getting to know each other all over again, It has been wonderful, we started by taking a 1 week vacation and we had a blast. I can not imagine my life without this man
2007-11-02 14:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by shortmama7j 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to do something to rekindle the spark.
Obviously there was a reason you two decided to take the plunge and commit yourselves to one another for the rest of your lives. You need to find that reason again.
Take a weekend and devote yourselves to each other. Unplug the phone, TV, computers -- hell, go out of town -- and start rediscovering your relationship.
It didn't get into a rut overnight...it won't be rekindled overnight.
Good luck to you.
2007-11-02 13:43:32 · answer #9 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to bring to focus back to you two. You spent years worrying about the kids and little about your marriage. Start over, but with your spouse!
2007-11-02 13:40:31 · answer #10 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋