im not sure what to do in this situation when dating turns into friendship?

Question

the girl that i was dating, we decided to be friends because she needs to take care of her self emotionally and mentally.
we decided also to keep in contact and continue our normal routine of calling and emailing each other. this is kinda hard n confusing to me as i do want to keep our routine going but its doesnt feel the same cuz i dont have the intentions anymore
we decided this on tuesday, she email me a nice ecard the following day wishin me a nice halloween, i responded and that was it, then the following day she email me asking me how was my halloween i respond that it was a blast she responded with a simple that s great. i dont want to look bitter at all which im not but i do not have motivation to contact her on the regular now but i dont want her to think i m mad at her or lose our friendship
what do u suggest i should do>? and how to approach this situation
thanks

Answer 1

oh how I hate getting in these situations. it's so messy.

ok. normal contact? seems weird since normal was when you were a couple and I'm sure one of you was feeling romantic about the other one.

then the pullback to I want us to be just friends. Might as well shoot me. It wouldn't hurt near as much or as long.

Seems as if she is hot about someone else but wants to keep you in her back pocket in case that doesn't work out. Maybe it's going to be a friends with benefits situation. She doesn't want to marry you but you have been intimate and she doesn't want to just sleep with anyone.

Maybe she will change her mind and come back to you.

Answer 2

Don't force it. Recognize it for what it is, and let things take a natural turn. Do you contact every one of your friends every day? I think not. Don't know about you, but I usually speak and/or meet with most of my friends about once or twice a month; it's not that often. What are her motivations for "being friends"? Is she playing a game with you? If not, the frequency of your contact will dwindle to a level you're both comfortable with, and it's not going to be every day - probably not even every week. If for whatever reason she feels the urge to hear from you all the time, I would question her motivations. She may just want to feel that she's in control, or keep you tethered just in case - which are not good foundations for a true friendship.

Answer 3

Be honest with her and yourself. It sounds like although there are no hard feelings on your part about just being friends, there is no interest in continuing any relationship with her. It sounds like there is some awkwardness there..as if neither of you really can figure out how to transition into the "just friends" thing.

I guess you have to think also, how often do you talk to every single one of your friends? Not all of my friends and I talk every day.

There is nothing wrong with that. Contact her as you would any other friend...and if it isn't as much as your normal friends, then maybe you really don't want to keep contact with her afterall and just don't know it yet.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like she is politely telling you she is not interested in you other then you being a friend. Meaning if your waiting for her to change so you have a chance of having her as GF the possiblility is most likely never going to happen. Maybe it would be best to email her and say that you have many friends and right now you are looking for a relationship with a woman not another friendship.

Good Luck and Best Wishes.

Answer 5

This is exactly why it's so hard to remain "just friends" after you've had something more.

The times I've been in that situation, I eventually just lost contact with the people because the friendship seemed pointless.

Do what you feel is best - but moving on is most important.

Answer 6

I think you should let her know that this is hard for you. Tell her not to take it personally when you don't want to message her, you just need to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally too. She will relate.

Only e-mail when you want to e-mail. Don't do it because you're supposed to.

Answer 7

All you need to do is be her friend that is al she wants so do this. Start dating other people go out be you. You are not going to wait for her all her life right she is confused she does not no what she wants so you do what you need to do.

Answer 8

You have to just be yourself. You can have a wonderful friendship with this woman. Just cause you are no longer dating doesn't mean you have to quit talking. Do other things with other people. You can still e-mail hi how are you doing? no biggie

Answer 9

well I think you should be honest with her, tell her your concerns about your relationship and that this is difficult to go from having a personal relationship to just being good friends....were you 2 intimate w/each other..if so that can be very difficult to go from that place to a casual place.....good luck to you I really believe honesty is the best policy

Answer 10

once you adult males the two admit it to yourselves and one yet another which you have emotions for another and desire to take it to that different point and start to have those passionate kisses that linger and appear as if they final continually and once you experience such as you in no way desire to permit one yet another go, thats while your friendship is not any longer a friendship.