Back then I (married, 29) didn't really seem to care that much. After this I got pregnant again but I did it on purpose. I gave birth to a baby girl 18 months ago and began to understand what life actually means. At times I feel bad about my past.
I wasn't raped or anything. How to handle the situation?
2007-11-02 05:46:37 · 27 answers · asked by Pie 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Planned parenthood has a plethra of information on chat lines, and how to get conseling for this.
Dont let the anti-choicers get you down by insulting you for your choice. You made a very very difficult decision that was ultimately yours to make. Maybe it was the right choice, maybe it wasnt, but you need support, not insults.
Good luck.
2007-11-02 05:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by melissa 4 · 9⤊ 6⤋
I'm very sorry that you are feeling bad. But I don't understand why people think all guilt is a bad thing. It's okay to feel guilty and to regret doing something that you've done. It's called having a conscience. But it's not good to dwell on the guilt/regret or dwell on the past. You need to move forward. I agree with everyone who said you should join a support group or find a counselor that deals with grief issues. Guilt or no guilt, you realize now that you experienced a profound loss when you had an abortion three years ago. You need to deal with that loss. You can visit this website for information about what you are going through and how to get help. http://www.noparh.org/ I wish you the best of luck in forgiving yourself and moving forward.
2007-11-02 06:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The pain never goes away.... and I know it hurts... someone very near and dear to me had an abortion and still regrets it to this day, and I dont blame her... it is the own person's fault for getting pregnant that early in the first place, however don't let that ruin your life. Think about the good things that will come out of your new baby Jasmine. I am soo happy for you. You shouldnt keep looking back on that, but rather on what good is yet to come. While old scars never heal, and are hard to get over, there is always a time for new love, and once you have that baby, the pain will decrease. My mom says having a baby is a wonderful thing, and once you have one you experience a love like none other, cherish Jasmine, and just know that the other baby rests in peace knowing you didnt give this one up. ^^
2016-04-02 00:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I had one two years ago. I had to do it because I was getting divorced from my husband and he was already not helping me care for the son we had together financially. Of course I feel guilty about it, I mean, I already knew what it was like to have a child. So, I have been donating blood ever since. You can do it six times a year. I know it won't make up for the life that was lost, but at least I am doing something for others to have a life. I didn't do it for selfish reasons I don't think, because I knew I couldn't afford to bring the child into the world and couldn't offer it the type of life it deserved. Why did you have an abortion if you are a married woman? Were you cheating and made a 'mistake?' I'm not being judgemental because certainly I am no one to talk but I was just wondering. Counseling might help. I will be following my own advice. My boyfriend and I want to have a child more than anything, and I still haven't gotten pregnant :( Not to mention we just went over obstetrics in EMT class and all I could think about is babies. Go figure. Good luck, girl.
2007-11-02 05:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
It may be hard for you but you just have to let go of the past. As you said, you didnt really care much at that time. People change. Sounds like you have. I am glad that this time you continued with the pregnancy & you have realized that life is so precious. You cannot go back & change anything. Forgive yourself & move forward. I do not believe in abortions for any reason other than medical, but people do make mistakes. Good luck & enjoy your baby girl!
2007-11-02 06:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever really thought about the reason why you did have an abortion... really ask yourself that... then if need be then i would at least find a doctor or someone to talk to and find away about feeling better about the situation... good luck
Whatever the sitation just really know not to take life for granted and really breathe in every second that your with your 18 month old... it only gets better!
2007-11-02 05:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just know that you are not alone. My boyfriend at the time (now he is my husband) conceived 5 years ago (Friday Sept 13), the first time we had sex. Since we were so new in our relationship, circumstances called for abortion.
Now, 5 years later, married, we just conceived in the teens of Sept. We are due Friday June 13th.
It is crazy to think that our children would be exactly, almost to the day 4 years apart. At times we both sit and reflect. We know that it was the best thing we could have done at the time. We both believe that a child needs 2 parents, married, with educations. At the time we were half way thru college, not living together, not sure what the future held.
So just remember, you are not alone in feeling the emptiness, pain, and regret. We all make decisions using our tools and resources we have at the time. Of course years later, we all look back and reflect, it is part of life.
2007-11-02 06:02:43 · answer #7 · answered by CaliforniaLove 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
There are over 100 million children in the world that need adoption. Therefore if you had given birth and put the child up for adoption, your child would simply displace another or suffer on its own.
If you had kept the child you would not have the resources for the second child.
Each time a child is aborted, it releases enough resouces to save 12 other children. Or perhaps just enough resouces for your current child.
There is not shame in having an abortion that is done for a sensible reason. The proof is in the fact that you now have a lovely child.
2007-11-02 07:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by Give me Liberty 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Find a counselor to talk to - I think a lot of women are in your situation and didn't understand the choice they were making. I'm really sorry, I would never be able to do this and I can't imagine what you must be feeling. You should know it's extremely common to feel guilt, regret and shame when you've had an abortion. I hope you find some way to overcome it.
2007-11-02 05:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lamont 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to counseling. Alot of places require counseling after an abortion. Don't let people on here break you down, you did what you needed to do at that time, no one can judge you until they walk a mile in your shoes. Just be greatful for the gift god gave you and cherish that baby girl. You need to talk to a professional, they know the tools to use to sort out your guilt and over come it. I wish you all the best!
2007-11-02 05:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
(Dr John you're an idiot. Shut your yap, don't try to make this poor girl feel worse. Who the hell do you think you are??) Sweetie, we have all made mistakes that we feel guilty about, and forgiving other people is a lot easier than forgiving ourselves. When you did that, you didn't have any way of really FEELING how important life is... now that you have your precious little girl, you can understand... so my compassionate advice would be to just concentrate on that beautiful baby and ask God to remove that mistake from your mind so you can totally forgive yourself. He wouldn't want you to be miserable anymore... you've done enough of that, now it's time to move on. God bless you and your little girl, hunny.
2007-11-02 05:59:07 · answer #11 · answered by Lindsay T 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋