Would you leave him even if he makes you happy or would you stay and support him throughout his struggles?
2007-11-02 03:44:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
My boyfriend is actually the one who asked me to post this question. He feels horrible because he can never afford to take me out and buy me stuff. I love him and always will but it does bother me at times but not nearly as much as it bothers him. I love to help whenever I can and I have no problems with being supportive of him. He just feels like a dead-beet and even though I tell him he is not, he still feels horrible about our situation. He is thankful for all of your responses, even the bad ones.
2007-11-02 04:03:07 · update #1
Alpha-I don't really delve too much into that part of his life. I have a relationship with his children but as far as their mother go. I dare not to engage with her. She is very jealous of he and I and she is very vindictive in that respect. She does things out of pure spite and I really don't like to deal with her. She is the selfish one, not me. He brings home less than half of his check every pay period and cannot afford to live but she could care less. She is more so concerned about herself.
2007-11-02 04:41:26 · update #2
Alpha-I was not trying to be rude to you in any way. I can see that you can understand my point of view and I can appreciate that. Thanks.
2007-11-02 06:17:53 · update #3
That is not a reason to leave!
You fight her throught the legal system.
That is what I did and I cut the child support in half. She was not happy!
He was paying $600. Now, $355. At the time she was
making $21 an hour.
You know I don't give a...if you all gonna give me thumb down. We lost our home because she decided to go head and lie to the state that he ows back un child support. And she had his wages garnished to the point where he came home with a paycheck of $120 dollars. We took her to court and proofed that he never missed a payment. We won!
You stand by him and make difference in his life.
Guys, she is not saying that he shouldn't pay childsupport. She only saying they are taking out more than they are supposed to!
And do you really know if the money is being spent on the child????
Dear that's exactly what i mean. (By the way my last comment was towards the answers) I know you are not selfish, you want to enjoy your life with your bf not struggle through it because of her deviosness.
2007-11-02 03:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by the girl next door 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
His debts become your debts if you decide to get married someday, so I'd seriously have to evaluate the situation., Do you love him and how much? And are you willing to "pay" all the time? It's a lot to think about. It won't last forever and if you see yourself with him that long...then stick it out.
***One of my closest friends pays child support for his two kids, that he probably has more than their mother does and he was coming home with $100 paychecks bi-weekly! Tell me how someone is supposed to survive and live like that? Sometimes the father's get screwed up the ying yang, they get ripped a new one. He is currently living with his cousin because he can't afford to live on his own. It's insane and unfair at times. The system is screwed up. I feel sorry for father's sometimes. Stick by him dammit...that's what I say.
Just because a father has a court order to pay child support doesn't make him a bad father, it's something the mother chose to do. It's amazing how so many have no idea what they are talking about and automatically label a father that pays support a "dead beat" or that he walked away from them....please..grow up people.
Good luck to you both! May you have a long wonderful life together.
2007-11-02 03:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by paz 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a problem that is going to disappear tomorrow. Child support is something he should be paying until the child(ren) reach the age of at least 18. If it bothers you just a little now that he has no money, imagine how you are going to feel later on when the magical glow of love has dulled considerably. And it must bother you or you wouldn't have posted the question.
2007-11-02 03:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, then stay, but if he has that much money coming out....i would question his true reason for being with you...is he using you, and can he be trusted because he does have a bunch of kids right? I am getting child support and another girl is getting support from my ex cause he couldn't keep his c*ck in his pants....we were married and he cheated and got two chicks preggo. i dumped him and the one other girl dumped him...he has mentioned to me that he stays with the third chick because he is stuck and doesn't want to pay her support too....he made his bed and must lie in it....but hopefully your man's situation is different. Good luck!
2007-11-02 03:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First the Child Support is whatever the state decides it is and will continue until his children are 18 or 25 if they go to college.
If you choose to support him through all of this than that is a choice you must make. Just like he chose to walk away from his children.
2007-11-02 03:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by Dionannan 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
in case you won't be in a position to handle the certainty that he has a baby that he has to pay for, then in line with possibility you will desire to discover a bf who can commit all his time and $$ to you... yet in all honesty, adult adult males do unlike gold diggers anyhow. So the two make your very own funds and stick via this guy who makes you satisfied, or pass on looking forward to a guy to shield you.
2016-11-10 01:20:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're too young to inherit someone else's kids and someone else's problems...
A guy who has already messed up and lost one family is not a good risk, as my own daughter (and a few others) could tell you.
There are a great many single guys (without kids) in this world who can and will make you happy. You don't have to settle for the first handsome face that smiles at you, Luv....
2007-11-02 03:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Having trouble making ends meet because he had a child with somebody else and now has to pay child support sends up red flags for me. He would not be marriage material for me cuz one day he might have kids with me and if he's struggling now to support the other kid, what's going to happend to mine? I don't mind supporting myself and contributing to the support of my own kids but I'm not about to support somebody else's kid; that's his and the other woman's burden. Why would a sensible, realistic, responsible woman want to pick up a guy who will have a lifetime of financial strife and is having trouble coping well with it now?
2007-11-02 03:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by ♪♫Tweedle Dee♪♫ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all you should be pleased that he is paying. A good father will support his children. And secondly, did you know he had kids when you got together? If you can't take it, move on.
(That's a real tough issue with me seeing how my ex is $27,000 behind in CS. What do you expect people to say??)
2007-11-02 03:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jenblossom 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him to get a second job and don't I said DON'T pay a cent of it. Not your problem. Trust me you listen and watch and you will pick up on a hint here and there. I said Don't
2007-11-02 03:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by JOHN 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋