Question for moms about their very first baby...?

Question

What did you do during the first 6 months? My ppd is more like ocd. im sad and when i clean i feel better. The problem is my ocd is getting worse and when i start to clean i get stuck doing something until it is perfectly clean and in order! I have a schedule for everything including my sons feeding and nap time! i have that part down and i do play with him but i feel like im not doing enough.. I try to take him outside when i get a chance or if im doing yardwork. But most of the time his outside time is spent with daddy. I was just wondering if any other moms (with the first baby) ever felt like that and what did you do with your baby?

Also i added that bit about the ppd/ocd because it seems to be getting in the way of me time and keeps me from going out with my son alot...

Thank you i was also wondering what you guys do during the day.. baby einstein,read to them... i have come up blank with new ideas!

Hes getting bored with me lol

Answer 1

hi, realize you are in control of nothing and let go and leave stuff in Gods hands. ocd is a need to feel powerful and in control. Also you want perfect.. there is no perfect. Go out.. leave dishes in sink, and enjoy the day. resist the ocd urges and they will go away.

be a master of your mind not a slave to it.

Answer 2

You need to talk to your doctor. Get something to help you out. I know a lot of people don't want to take medications, or if they are breastfeeding they aren't allowed to take certain medications. But if you aren't getting any time with your baby or any me time then you need to do something about it. I know that with OCD you don't really have a choice about doing certain things. I hope you do not have PPD, if you do, then definately get on some meds for your babys sake.

My daughter is now 5, and it is hard for me to remember what I was like then. My sister-in-law however has a 5 month old son and she is like that. She moves him to different activities, places, swings etc. every 15 minutes. He is on a very strict schedule. If you get to hold him at all you are lucky. She doesn't like to take any advice from any one......thinks she, her sister, and her doctor know everything there is to know.

Any way, you are not alone....there are other women out there facing the same issues every day.
I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

You can t do much with a baby in the first 6 months. They eat sleep and pooh. My baby just used to lay in her cot, pram or on the floor on a rug and that was it till she could roll over. I would spend time with her bathing her which she enjoyed from birth. But i just cleaned my house and gardened and read books and pottered around until my husband would get home and i had some mental stimulation from an adult!!!

I would venture down to my local markets and shopping centres on my own, or pop over to a friends for a chat once she was 3-4 months old. They are a bit more receptive at that age. they goo and gah and stuff.

You are cleaning because you dont have anything else to occupy your mind. Get your self a hobby you can do indoors like crafts or puzzle books. You are obviously not used to being at home 24/7 and it will take a bit of getting used to.

Dont feel guilty for not spending every waking moment with your baby. If you did that you really would go insane.

Yes your housework needs to get done still, but do it when hes having a nap, or get your husband to help.

Get to your local gp and get him to do a post partum or post natal depression assesment. If you do have it, the sooner its is diagnosed and dealt with the happier and safer all of you will be. You may not have it at all and this is just your way of coping with the new realities of being a stay at home mum.

Dont be ashamed of having a schedule for feeding and nap time. Children need routine. And so do mums sometimes!! Its nice to know when you are gonna get some quiet time to yourself.

Good luck, you sound relatively normal to me, but get it checked just in case.

Answer 4

It's a constant struggle trying to be a mommy and taking care of the house (& your husband, I'm sure). My son is 9mo & I'm still going through that.

Be strict with yourself and only do hardcore housework when baby is napping or happily playing on his own (exersaucer or playpen). Or use a baby carrier to get certain things done in the house.
Enjoy the time you have with your son while he's still so little & train yourself to be okay with the house not being in perfect order. The dishes will alway be there to be done, but your son is going to grow up so fast.
& try to fit a stroller walk into that schedule of yours. It'll be good for the both of you.




I do know how you feel.

Answer 5

Ugh...that's everyday life for me. Not a PPD thing; I've always been that way. One thing I've done is to have something else around that satisfies the OCD. I have a sudoku book I frequently lose myself in, but it's still easier to get out of than cleaning...crosswords, word searches, the like. Something with patterns and/or involving deep thought.

You can also do things where there are limits. A load of dishes or laundry, a shower (hey, it's still considered cleaning!), etc.

Really, just find ways to set time limits on what you do, and/or fool yourself into stopping.

Answer 6

What I learned with my second, that I wish I knew with my first, is to make greater use of the bjorn/carrier for doing things outside, picking up around the house, laundry, chores that didnt involve boiling water basically or anything dangerous. He was in that thing til over a year. Also helped to strengthen my back.

The other thing we made use of was the exercise ball, either silly bouncing or even more calming. Theres a song on a CD called For the Kids, its the Hoppity Song, by Hootie and the BLowfish, we'd always hop to.

The great thing about these things is that excercise can sometimes help with depression.

The other thing Id say is get out with other moms, and dont bring the kids. Just once a month my friends meet and we all bring a dish to share.

Answer 7

have you actually been diagnosed with ocd and ppd? or are you just using them loosely to describe your habits and feelings?

i feel that i can be ocd about somethings sometimes. as soon as we found out we were pregnant i got down to business. my husband and i were just talking about that last night,a ctually! it seemed that the fun joey disappeared and this 100% serious person took over.

our son is 13 months, now and i'm finally starting to lighten back up. he's off and running around and being his own person and so life has gotten a lot easier. i was like you with the cleaning and the schedules and the routines and i often felt that i wasn't spending enough time with him. i think what you need to do is take a day off. just relax and let the dishes buidl up. don't worry about vacuuming. just hang out iwth your kid and enjoy yourselves! take him for a long walk outside in his stroller. play some fun music and twirl him around. just really spend the enjoying him.

then, re evaluate your days. try to find a balance between super mom and chill mom. one thing that you NEED to do is talk to your husband about all of it. i just talked to my husband about my stress issues and we decided that i needed some "me time". so, 2-3 times a week he keeps the baby and i go to they gym! it helps me feel better about myself and i get some time without worrying about diapers, lunches, etc.!

try it out....it's this whole process...you'll get through it,.

Answer 8

dont think that a baby is getting bored with you, or you not doing enough! well i felt like that before and i use to be sad but is because some womans after birth get depress, sad, fustrated etc... but is good that he is spending time with his daddy, no matter what your baby is going to love you =]

and yes!! baby dvds are good it will keep them happy, giving them a bath before putting them to watch a baby einsteins will be a great idea because it will calm them down, also a swing will be a great idea =]


good luck sweety<3

Answer 9

i used to take my son for a walk every afternoon even if he was asleep i'd put him in the pram and off we'd go for an hour. if he was awake i'd talk to him and stop and show him things, he had no idea what his crazy mum was talking about but he never cried so i took that to mean he was enjoying himself ! i certainly did. it gave me a chance to think and clear my head and be with my son.

Answer 10

Do you think you have post natal depression? I think the best answer to this is to go consult your doctor/ GP.