Im 17 weeks, My Boyfriend wants me to have an abortion?

Question

Im 17 weeks pregnant.I have been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now.I had a scan at 9 weeks,its fair to say we are not in the best time in our life to afford a baby,but at the scan he seemed excited after seeing it&was even arguing about whether it was a boy or girl! However the day after the scan he totally flipped&said he didnt want the "thing" so "get rid of it".And hes been like that pretty much ever since,Hes so cold hearted towards me&all he keeps saying is how expensive they are&how we wont be able to go on holiday next year.So hes taking me to a clinic on monday morning to talk to someone about having an abortion.I dont want to have an abortion but i dont want him to hate me&think im having the baby to spite him because im really not,I love him so much but i just know i dont want an abortion but i dont wanna do it alone.Nobody knows im pregnant, his family will REALLY overreact&make out like the world is ending, mine wont be that thrilled either.I dont know whats best,help!

Guys,thanks so much4all ur opinions&quick replies!iv read every1 in detail,Im 20 in a weeks time,my boyfriend will be 21 just after the baby is due2b born.I no what ur saying&if i am2have this baby with or without him i would keep it as i couldnt give them up once i had held them.I dont even no why i question myself coz i no i really wont be able2go through with an abortion especially this late on,had it been earlier i might have considered(i no it sounds awful&sorry2those who dont agree)I think i was/am just going2talk2sum1 about abortion coz i dont want my boyfriend2think im selfish towards his feelings even tho he hasnt been that great towards mine.my friends dont no im pregnant cos i was so paranoid something would go wrong i didnt want2have2deal with the attention of telling everyone i had lost the baby.Sorry i sound selfish throughout all this,i do love this little thing inside me&im sure i have felt it,i have had a few weird flutters.Its just thoughts of being alone thru this xx

Answer 1

It's a bit late now and even more traumatic to think about having an abortion now you will have to give birth to a fully developed baby. He needs to think about how this will affect you as well if you go through with it. It would have been hard enough to do it in the first place when it was not much but now when it looks like a real baby I think it would be so much worse. He is only thinking about himself at the moment and he should have thought about the consequences before you guys had sex and fell pregnant. yes it will be expensive but you will manage people do it all the time and you may have to miss out on that holiday but you could go another time. Hopefully whoever he is suppose to be taking you to will tell him whats wrong about doing it a this stage of pregnancy. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that it all works out especially in the baby's favour of living. Good luck : - )

Answer 2

You should do what your heart tells you - if you feel you really want the baby, do not let him pressure you into having an abortion! That would not only make you feel miserable, you will resent him for it forever.

Babies are expensive, but if you want to, you can make it work. And not being able to afford a holiday is a terrible argument for him to justify you having an abortion. At already 17 weeks along, you are only a week or two away from starting to feel the baby move, and let me tell you - it is the most wonderful feeling in the world, once you feel the baby inside you, you will feel even less like giving it up.

Talk to your family, maybe they will be more supportive than you think. And maybe you need to rethink how wonderful your boyfriend really is... It may be better for you to do this on your own. He will still have to pay child support even if he chooses not be around for you and the baby. And if he chooses that, he really isn't as great as you think he is.

Answer 3

Looks like you do not want an abortion so please do not have an abortion under pressure.

In this case it will haunt you.

Please do not take life save it, it is yours to save and only you can save it.

Go to a adoption clinic and take a lawyer then have this baby and make two adoptive parents very happy. Most of the time the adoptive couple will pay thru the pregnancy and post pregnancy expenses to help you out, till you are well enough to be on your own again.

People are more open now a days and you may be able to have visitation rights.

Also please go to planned parenthood clinic and learn about various BC methods that are more suitable to yours and your partner's life style and are more effective then the one that you were practising, and use it in the future so you do not go through this type of heart burn again. Granted no BC method is 100% good but some are almost 100% good so look in to it.

Answer 4

if you dont want to go through with the abortion, dont!

It's a very traumatic experience - i talk from experience.

This baby is living inside you now and you obviously love it, the bond is much more than anything else you will ever feel and when it is gone the feeling of emptiness will never be filled.

I assure you that if this relationship is to last then when you have the baby he will still be there. If not, then he obviously wasn't worth an abortion was he.

Ask yourself what means more to you, your baby, or your bf who is treating you like a piece of dirt when you are at your most vulnerable.

You won't have to do it alone if you split up because your parents will be around to help and he will have responsibilities as a father.

All the best, take care xxx

Answer 5

He can not make you have an abortion. If he is putting this much pressure on you then it is totally for his own benefit. It seems like he only cares about himself and his future not you or yours. This would be the biggest mistake of your life to do this, especially if you are only doing it for him.

Tell him how you feel, that you want this baby and that you will not be having an abortion, If he wants no part of it then fine. If you feel you can't raise the baby by yourself the have it adopted. Also He can not make you go to the abortion clinic if you don't want to. Tell him to back of and stop pressuring you. Ask him to wait until the baby is born and if he still dosen't want to be a part of it's life then fine Leave.

Yes babies are expensive but they are also the greates joy in the world. I am currently expecting my 2nd and am having a really rough time of it physically and emotionally, but if I knew what I would have gone through I would still go ahead and have it. My daughter is 17 months old and amazing. She lights up my life and gives me so much joy. Money is tight for us too, my partner works I stay at home and we have a €1300 a month mortgage along with all the usual living expenses, but again I would not give up having my children because of that. It's well worth it.

Answer 6

DO NOT....I REPEAT DO NOT have this abortion. You will regret this for the rest of your life. So what if he doesn't want to be involved? The baby was created and there is nothing he can do about it. If he didn't want a baby, he should have been more careful.

I promise I'm not trying to be mean, but it truly seems like you want to keep this child. Listen...you are stronger than you think. Yeah, maybe everyone will go off the wall once they find out your pregnant. But believe me, that will change once that precious baby is here. Your parents will not be able to look into those tiny angel eyes and not love it. You will be suprised and how much people will help you....even if they say they won't at first.

Children are a blessing. Don't throw it away. Your boyfriend can't "take" you anywhere if you don't want to go. If he tries forcing you...leave him immediately. At this moment, your boyfriend is not your first priority...that baby growing inside you is. He may change his mind later on, but if not, there are plenty of single parents out there that don't regret for a moment keeping their child.

Please, please, please...I'm begging you....DON'T DO THIS!!!

Answer 7

First off, no one can make you do something you don't want to do. If the dr at the clinic knows you're not sure of going through with the process, they might not let you do it. Psychological reasons and all that.

You have many options open to you, the major ones being keep the baby, or putting him/her up for adoption.

IMO, your boyfriend is being EXTREMLY selfish if he's saying he doesn't want the baby because it's expensive and you can't go on vacation next year. That's a really petty excuse!!

YOu do what you feel is right! If you feel like you want to keep the baby and raise him/her, then you do so, and kick your BF to the curb. It doesn't matter how much you love him. You need to do what's right for you and your little one.

Good luck in your decision.

Answer 8

Isn't legalized abortion great? Now women can be under even more pressure to abort than when it was illegal. Now boyfriends and family member think they have the right to INSIST she abort. Even at four months along.

You say you don't want him to hate you, well, it sounds like he already does, if he's been bitching at you for the past two months, and cares more about next year's vacation than about you and your child.

Why does nobody know you're pregnant? Surely you have one friend in the world besides this guy? Has he separated you from all your friends? That's not a good sign either.

If you don't want an abortion, don't get one. Tell your parents. You can live with them being "not thrilled". You need their support, especially after you decide your boyfriend isn't so great after all.

Answer 9

congratulations. im pregnant also.. and i dont exactly know how old you are but most probably older than me. im 17 so yes moneys a problem for me and my boyfriend also. im in college and he works 7 days a week which realisticaly he is the only income we will have. ive told my mum and no she wasnt thrilled, the rest of my family would cause chaos. ive decided i dont want to abort, because i cant do with the thought of maybe in a few years looking back and thinking 'why the hell didnt i keep it, i could of done it'. no you havent got your bfs support but just by putting small amounts of money away weekly uptil the baby is due.. it makes a hell of a difference. lately we've been putting £50-£100 away in my account and it goes untouched. also i couldnt go through with someone else bringing up my kid. its your choice.. how other people take it isnt the main issue. its your life and people will come round. x

Answer 10

Although you do not state you age, it seems as though you are probably young..

I am also a young mother, and although my boyfriend did not ask to me to abort, we both had thought about it.

I am currently 38 weeks 5 days pregnant, and although pregnancy has not been fun-filled, it truly is a blessing, and I wouldnt have changed it for anything.

You will get many, many people especially on here telling you how wrong abortion is, but dont be forced to believe their opinions on abortion.
IMO, abortion is a choice, a choice only the person carry the child can make, and if its not the right time for them to have it, they can make the decision on what to do.
Also so many people will tell you, dont do abortion, give it up to adoption.
Little do those people know, adoption is JUST as hard as abortion, after being pregnant and carrying it, you have this ultimate special bond with the baby, like no other!
I know at the beginning of my pregnancy, adoption was vaguely thought of, but now I know I could not ever give up my child.
It's hard for most people who have never been in these shoes to understand that, so dont feel brought down by them, because believe me you will get MANY words about that.

On another note, financially speaking to you, not trying to give you a hard time, abortion at 17 weeks, will probably cost you a lot of money, as I have never heard of an insurance covering abortion, so it will all come out of your pocket.
See every week that you go farther into pregnancy, abortion becomes more expensive, I believe it is like 200 dollars more every week, so since your 17 weeks, it probably will end up costing $2000.
And yes these are actual facts, as when I became first pregnant, and we thought about getting an abortion.

Also, your boyfriend has no control as many people have said over what you do.
Even though he is the father of your child, it is your body and you choose.
And even though you think you cant make it without him, and he wont be apart of your childs life, he might not want to be apart of the babies life, but he will have to pay child support!

More than likely at first your parents/his parents will be upset, I know mine were, but after a month they came around, and now are super excited!
And believe me, my parents were totally upset when they found out, they are not easy pleasing parents.
But now his parents and mine, both are more excited than ever to have a grandchild, and they LOVE to buy her things, and shes not even born yet!

With that being said, if you have a local pregnancy clinic around I would recommend going there, they will give you all facts and info about pregnancy, and OBs in your area.