my wife has been separated from me for 5 months now. we split up because she out of the blue after 7 months of marriage told me that i was "not in her heart anymore", she "couldn't be intimate with me anymore", that "she didn't know if she wanted to be married to me anymore". long story short i tried to work it out, she didn't want to. I even tried for 3 months after the separation, she did not want to. NOW the last month she wants to, is no longer mean and nasty to me or telling me she wants a divorce like she told me all summer. I broke all contact with her 6 weeks ago then a week after I was done, now she wants to get back with me. WHY and what gives?
2007-11-02 00:52:06 · 20 answers · asked by amayseng 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
29 years old. dated 2 years 2 months before marriage. i have a kid whos mom left us when he was 10 months old. he is now 8. she told him to call her mommy.
2007-11-02 00:58:03 · update #1
i just do not trust her and never will again. i can not live my life wondering if today is the day when she tells me " i am not happy you are not in my heart" even if we got back together and 5 years went by that were great i will always wonder and never feel the same about her or trust her.
2007-11-02 01:05:24 · update #2
we both work, i make a lot more than her and payed all the insurances through my paycheck. my son was devestated, all he has yearned for was a mom. at first he was hurt and sad, but now he is more hardened. he said he didnt want her back because she will be no different--thats an 8 year old talking. so he is not happy with her.
2007-11-02 01:10:26 · update #3
we were only married 7 months...7!!!. the marriage just begun. she just didnt want to be a wife, she wanted to run around single like she did all summer even telling me one time this summer she likes the single life better and was mailing me divorce papers
2007-11-02 01:13:55 · update #4
You're a good dude. Focus on your son & you, forget her. You gotta stick with who sticks with you. She is not worth the confusion and stress. Besides, foolin around with her could prevent you from being with whom you're really supposed to be with. Life is too short to not to try to make the most of it...good luck.
2007-11-02 01:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by marcavelli0569 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, she could have realized that she really does want to be married to you after dealing with whatever she was dealing with. I would ask her to talk to you about it. Or she could be playing games with you. I would take things slow and start building trust again. Go on some dates. Spend time actually talking about what you expect in life. What you need and are willing to give. It's normal to not feel "In love" every single day. Sometimes you may not like each other very much, but that doesn't mean you jump into divorce because one day you may not feel happy.
ps. I got married very young. It took my husband a little while to mature and act like a married man. He wanted to go out and so on like he was single while I was at home where I was supose to be taking care of our son. It was very hard and I almost threw in the towel several times, but here we are 15yrs later. Marriage isn't like a fairy tale it's hard sometimes. It's not always what you expected or what you built it up to be. You should try to work at keeping your marriage. Anything worth having you have to work hard for. You need to show this to your son or this could really shape how he treats women in the future. I understand you are hurting but don't give up yet.
2007-11-02 08:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by KM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very tough call. I'd say if you do let her come back that some form of counseling is definitely in order. Especially on her part. Sounds like the second thought syndrome. Where someone thinks they're ready for marriage or a serious committed relationship only to find out that they really aren't. Good luck friend. I really hope things work out for the best for you.
2007-11-02 08:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she was having an affair that is now over.
Since you are still married, think about staying in separate homes and getting some marriage counseling. Figure out what went wrong and if it is worth trying to fix. Then decide if you want to move on or try to work on your marriage.
Good Luck.
2007-11-02 08:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by ruby 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been in a similiar position.
18 months separation got back together
in my heart i know she dont love me
i have children & those 18 months were unbearable
just recently i start question my motifs for reconcilietion
the break has been made buddy
dont try and fix the unrepairable
listen to your son & enjoy life again !!!
2007-11-02 09:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by seth E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wound not take her back..There could be so many reasons why she wants you now. Plus did your son take it hard not having her there,Don't you think it is better for him to start fresh.Because if she leaves you again it doesn't only hurt you it hurts him....Plus could you give us more info like was you the only bread winner,and how did your son take it when she left this time
I would not take her back.I think she might only want you now because she sees how hard it is being with out your support financially..Plus if your son doesn't want her back I would not do it,,There are plenty of good woman and i mean woman and not a woman acting like a child..That would love you and your child out there so start fresh .....Please don't let that crap back in..
2007-11-02 08:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tifffany G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Perhaps you both got so comfortable and used to each other that it was as if neither of you cared anymore and the sparkl went from your marriage.
Try again if you really love her and make sure you keep the magic alive this time.
2007-11-02 08:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After reading your question and then reading your answers back to the ppl who answered you i think you have answered your own questions. If i were you id listen to your son. Take your son and move on. Things can be better for the 2 of you. Good luck.
2007-11-02 08:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you don't trust her then you definitely need to stay separated for awhile to make totally sure. Don't take divorce lightly. Follow your head in this one, not your heart. You will be better off making the right decision, not an impulsive one. Good luck to you.
2007-11-02 08:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's giving you the run around. it was cool when you was chasing her and paying her some attention, but time you stop chasing her azz she want you back. I say let her azz go. She is too grown to be playing childish game. She needs to be a woman and grow up. I say move on because if you take her back again she going to pull that same SH*T again.
2007-11-02 08:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋