shes 6 weeks gone and thinks its a baby not a feotus. shes not mature enough to be a parent and her boyfriend isnt either. she wouldnt have chosen to be pregnant and she wasnt carefull enough clearly! she doesnt want a baby , but she thinks that a temination is killing her baby (its a feotus) she also thinks that if she had a termination that she would feel sad for the rest of her life. but ithink that if she had tjhis baby that would ruin her life. please just comment or leave your oppinion im terying to make see that im perswading her to have a termination because i love her and that this is a bad situation to be. i apperciate you help.
2007-11-01 23:46:36 · 58 answers · asked by bess 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
both of my parents know, theyre not happy about it but they say at the end of the day its her choice, i totally agree with them. i just dont think that this i right for her, i am financially mentally in a better sitiuation than she is and im nearly 19 but i wouldnt have the baby.
2007-11-01 23:55:57 · update #1
I would be the same way if it were my sister. I would tell her that she has a choice out of the matter. After all it is just a clump of cells formed together. It is not like it could survive right now so it is nothing more than a fetus and a fetus cannot breathe or anything on it's own.
If she chooses an abortion then afterwards she needs to get on birth control asap.
Go to http://www.abortion.com >Click on your state >Then click on a clinic
Up to 8 weeks, you can take the abortion pill.
Good luck
2007-11-02 01:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all i understand you are worried about her, but a termination is a very serious matter. take out the whole emotional aspect of it is killing a baby, because that argument will go back and forth until you are blue in the face and it will never be resolved.
A termination is a very traumatic experience for any woman, and especially a 16yr old girl who you say is very immature. the options that she has are all loaded. if she does have a termination, she has the option of a surgical abortion, which is invasive and can result in serious danger, it is very easy to perforate the womb which can cause internal bleeding and can kill her, and if it didnt kill her would most definately make her sterile. this i will admit is rare but it CAN and HAS happened.
the other option is a medical abortion, where four small pills are placed high up in the vagina which opens the cervix, inducing a miscarriage. this is NOT pleasant. it is very painful and is extremely traumatic, as i will tell you now you can SEE the "feotus" when it is passed, and at six weeks i will tell you, it is recognisable as a baby, it has arms legs etc, and would most probably deeply disturb your sister if she already believes it is a baby.
This leaves you with an option of adoption... this is difficult too as she will build a bond with this child if she continues the pregnancy and it will be very difficult for her to give the child up.
really i strongly suggest you sit down and have a proper conversation with her about it. she needs to think about what will happen after she has this baby. is it fair to bring a baby into this world when it is unwanted, is it fair to raise it in a situation where she cant provide for it??? and is her relationship with her boyfriend stable enough? or will he want to get out as soon as possible???
i would ask you please not to force her into an abortion, as not only will she feel dreadful and full of remorse but it might damage her relationship with you and if she does have an abortion then she will need someone around. I had my hand pushed into an abortion, because the pregnancy was ectopic and i still can see in my mind the image of my baby, and i still, even though there was very little could be done, as an ectopic would have killed me, feel horrifically guilty about it all... i suggest your sister goes to the doctor and speaks to professionals about this situation.
Good luck and God bless, i hope all goes well, whatever she decides.
2007-11-02 00:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by dom c 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, trying to persuade her to terminate her child is not the best position to put yourself in. Even though you are looking out for her best interest, that is a decision that only she can make and it would be best if SHE made it. Say you did persuade her and afterwards, she did end up feeling sad/depressed for the rest of her life, even though it may have very well been in her best interest, she may take it out on you and it could ruin yalls relationship with one another.
Im sure bynow she knows how you feel, but let her know that the decision is hers. If she decides to keep it, i'm sure she's smart enough to know it will be tough, but tell her that she has a family, ( atleast a sister) that will help her out as much as possible, and that you will stand by her and yall can get through it together. Start having her research programs that will help her out if she decides to keep the baby ( i.e. WIC, welfare, housing, TANF, child support, etc) All these things, she or her parents, can start applying for while she is pregnant.
In clunclusion, definitely do not persuade her in any direction, just guide her to making her own decision. Have her talk to an OBGYN of possible options and get a social worker a.s.a.p. It truly takes a village to raise a child, regardless of how old you are.
2007-11-01 23:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Real Talk 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is young but not so terrably young that she doesn't know what is going on inside her. YOU might think that her child is just a fetus but she obviously feels diffrent, she thinks of this as her CHILD. Simple word changes is not going to change the fact that she knows she has a life inside her and she do not want to end it. If she is forced to have an abortion and she feels strongly against it than it will make her sad for the rest of her life, she will miss this child and she will grieve for it. You probably wouldn't if in her position and there is nothing wrong with that but you are not her and can not make this choice for her.
What you should be doing is supporting her and being by herside no matter what her choice is. Help her through this from all angles, not just abortion. She might want to consider adoption for example.
And just because she is pregnant do not mean she never tried to prevent it, no birth control is 100%, I know a lot of girls who got pregnant young while using both a barrier and a hormonal birthcontrol at the same time. I also know mothers who had their child at 16 and done just fine, they have their highschool and are working on their post secondary, they have a well behaved loving child and they are not a drain to society sitting around on welfare. It might not be your choice for her life but suprisingly it is not your life and she has to decide for herself how she wants to live it.
2007-11-02 00:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
its a hard situation to be in. i personally dont think any child is a mistake however it may come at the wrong time. whatever your sister decides will be what she feels is best for her. im sure your only trying to help but she may feel presurred into getting a termination and it could affect her emotionally. something like this needs a lot of thought.
im sure if she decieded to keep the baby then she would be a great mum or even if she has a termination she will be a great mum in the future. whatever her choice good luck and let us know how she is xx
2007-11-02 00:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by laura 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not give the baby up for adoption if she does not want it and does not agree with abortions. You could try to find her people to talk to about how they felt after an abortion or about an adoption. I was 16 when I had my first and now I'm 25 with a great job and benefits, married with my 2nd on the way. It wasn't always easy but I never regretted my decision because I felt that I was always taking care of my responsibilities.
Ultimately, be there for her. If you want to help her don't pressure her but let her know there are other options out there and show her those options. I know there are a lot of people out there who want babies but can't have them. I thought I was one here lately because of health issues. Try and show her 3 outcomes that it could be like if she were to have the baby, abort the fetus, or give the baby up for adoption.
2007-11-02 04:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by Carebear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Terminations should not be taken lightly but in some situations like yours i would support it 100% beacuse having a baby will destroy her body and give her alot of mental strains with it. That is why i wouldn't be pro-adoption at such an early stage in her pregnancy, (i believe this even as a Christian) if this is the view she decides to take then ignore all the others people tend to be so forward in their views and shove them down others throats!
However you can't control her life if she chooses to have the baby then it is her choice her mistake she will have to learn and she will soon realise that it isn't as easy as she thought.
The best thing to do is to have her go to the doctors and speak through all the decisions with a professional :) best of luck
2007-11-02 00:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she is very young,and this pregnancy hap pend by mistake,BUT it is a mistake that has happened now.
If your sister wants to keep the baby, and you have tried to explain about having an abortion already and she still does not want to then maybe you should let her have the baby.
It could affect her long time emotionally if she insists she does not want an abortion but is forced to have one.
Yes she is young and of course it will change her life, but as i say this has happened now.
The foetus as you call it is still a living thing, however small it is.
Abortions can cause damage and infertility to some people.
Consider Adoption as that way she knows her child will be growing up happy until one day they can meet again, also helping someone who cannot have children,this was she will not worry she killed her baby as you have already said that these are the words she uses.
2007-11-01 23:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by sexy hotrod 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Please think very carefully about your choices. I agree with big sis on this one. A baby is a hand grenade in anyones life, its not something you can just deciede you don't want to do anymore. Its 18 years of responsibility, and I really doubt that any 16 year old can handle it, no matter how mature they claim to be/act. They haven't yet had enough life experience enough, to learn coping skills, they are still maturing physically, and emotionally. And its not just going to impact on the 16yr olds life, its the life of big sis, mum, dad, the whole family is affected by this decision.
I've had a coulpe of terminations when I was younger. Its never something I've regretted. I've gone on, 10 years later, a mother of 3, and the life I have now, could never have happened if I did not terminate. Plaese think very carefully about this.. good luck.....
2007-11-02 00:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by bahl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it was me pregnant at that age, I would definitely terminate, and I applaud you for wanting to do right by your sister. I agree it is the sensible thing to do. However as others have said, if she feels that strongly about it and you force her hand, she could end up hating you for the rest of your lives, as well as hating herself for what she's done. She needs you to be there for her whatever her descision, and perhaps talking to her about adoption is a better way forward in this case,
Here's a little story I haven't posted on YA! before. I fell pregnant at 19. My bf said he didn't love me, and probably never would, and that if I kept the baby it would go against every fibre of his being (direct quote). I wanted to keep the baby. I went away for a few days to a friend's house, where my mates told me they would be there for me whatever. I had time to reflect on my situation without pressure either way, and eventually came to the desicion that with no good job, still living with my parents and the very real potential of being a single mother, I would be better to terminate. To this day I know I came to the right descision by myself, and can live happily knowing no one pushed me into it.
Give your sister some space. I know there isn't much time, but she may come round yet.
2007-11-01 23:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by Xai 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋