I've been married twice, my second wife had an affair which I found out about and subsequently moved out and got a divorce. I met a new partner who is 10 years younger than me and we have been together for nearly 4 years now. She would like to get married, we are very happy together and I am happier than I have ever been. Is it unfair of me to not get married - she has not married before. I just feel scared to do it again.
2007-11-01 22:25:43 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not against being married, I would like to do it again if it is right and I feel it could be, I'm just wary!
2007-11-01 22:42:28 · update #1
I too have been married twice before, I had bad relationship's too. This made me very wary, then I met my husband (3), he is the best thing (apart from my kid's) that has ever happened to me. I would say to you " if your very happy now-you go for it".
Some people are lucky and find their soulmate first time, some like us have a bumpy ride to find our's. Just be happy, get married, you know if it feel's right.
2007-11-03 10:12:10 · answer #1 · answered by pigeonlegs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally understandable that you are wary!
Have you told your girlfriend the reason that you are unsure of getting married again? If not, you definitely should!
4 years is a long time and if she really desires marriage and the only reason you may not want to get married is because of past experiences, I say that you should consider it. If there are any other reasons that you are having doubts - i.e. in your relationship - then that's another thing. You have to be sure that you want to do it.
But you never know - third time lucky and all that! You sound happy and in love; if she wants to marry you then she must feel the same way. Some people are just a better match for each other and that could be the case with the two of you in comparison with you and your two ex wives. Just make sure that you never take each other for granted and that you always talk about any problems so that you have a long and happy life together.
Good luck!
xx Emmie
2007-11-01 23:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot wonder, or be scared if you're making the right decision if the decision is to get MARRIED! You should have learned that by now from your previous mistakes.
Marriage should only be thought of after being together for years and know eachother inside and out, mentally, emotionally and physically. Ages late 20's, early 30's. Treating eachother will love, respect, trust and communication. Doing anything to make your partner happy, not yourself. You truly love eachother and you could never be apart so you make the commitment to spend the rest of your lives together till death do you part!
Maybe you should be scared, because you should already know that.
2007-11-01 23:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fair enough to doubt after two failed marriages... But if you don't give things a shot, you'll never know if they'll work out.
Just be sure this time.
Besides, if you don't intend to ever get married again, I think this new partner needs to know. She's never been married before and may WANT to be married. You have to let her know what she's getting into and what you can and cannot offer her.
2007-11-02 01:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by cherie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum is with her third husband, there is nothing wrong with it if you feel like it's right. I've just gotten married and yes, it is scary, but if you are scared of everything you do, then you would never do anything.
I'd go for it. Good luck and all the best!! x
2007-11-01 22:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by gemma_florida 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't understand people that just wants to get married. I only got married so my husband could have his visa to come to this country, but otherwise, I would have never married.
Just celebrate your love living together. Explain her your fears and let her know that you love her very much and that you are happier than you have ever been. Hopefully, that will give her the peace of mind she is looking for.
Good luck to you!!!
2007-11-01 22:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sesoid 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-05-18 11:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by doretha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the difference if your not married? why is it unfair not to?Ask yourself those questions before making any big decisions like that. I thought havin been divorced 2 times should be a good indicator on the answer u seek.
2007-11-01 23:18:37 · answer #8 · answered by CreativeMusicArtist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you are not ready, then you are not ready, it takes time for people who have been hurt before to move on and take the "leap" again.
Talk to your girlfriend, and it sounds like you have an open and honest relationship, so be open and honest with her and tell her how you feel, and if you really have true love, which I know you do, then she will understand and she will wait for you until you decide that the time is right.
2007-11-01 22:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contrary to three strikes in baseball, that game is not life. If you're scare, just let her know your feelings. You guys can take it slow. You don't need to rush into anything. If you two really love each and when the time is right, you will just know it in your hearts.
2007-11-01 22:32:45 · answer #10 · answered by sfjadeia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋