Me and my friend Paul used to be best friends. For two years, there wasn't a weekend or a summer day when we weren't together. We could talk to each other about so many things, from girl problems to the newest CD coming out. It was great having him as a friend because my other friends seemed to have turned on me for a period of time, in which they were consistently finding things wrong about me or my life. However, Paul was dating this great girl, yet, he would always complain to me about her. I was friends with this girl as well, and she'd talk to me about hers and his problems too. Then, out of the blue, she found herself interested in me instead and I just couldn't resist not going for her. Ever since then, Paul has not said anything to me, and I haven't hung out with him once. I've tried apologizing so many times. Me and that girl don't even date anymore...yet he's still not around. Is this something I should just let go, or should I still pursue him?
2007-11-01 21:36:29 · 8 answers · asked by Ltrain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The main reason I chose to pursue the girl instead of our friendship was because I had heard (from the girl, I must add) that he was "saying bad things about me behind my back." Because this upset me so much, as this was something he wasn't normally known to do, I decided that getting the girl was the most important thing to me. Now that I think back to it, what if the girl was lying just to get me so mad at him that I'd take her instead? Or even worse...what if my "best friend" really wasn't that great of a friend the whole time?
2007-11-01 21:46:33 · update #1
First, I think that you believed what this girl said about your friend because you wanted an excuse to be able to date her. Sorry, but it sounds like you liked her or were lonely and you let what she said sway you into making a stupid mistake. Think about it a while and perhaps you'll see that's true.
Second, your friendship is very badly damaged. I don't blame your friend for not speaking to you. Not being mean, but that's the truth. I wouldn't speak to you either if I were in that position. However, you MIGHT have a small chance of fixing all of this. MIGHT. First thing to do is to write him a letter and explain things to him. Tell him what you're reasons were for doing what you did and tell him how much you realize that what you did was wrong. Tell him you don't blame him for not forgiving you, but then tell him that you miss your friendship and would like a second chance. Also, let him know that you've learned from your mistake and that this girl wasn't worth the price of your friendship and that you wished you'd figured that out earlier. Also, you might want to find a nice way to let him know that you didn't realize he'd mind so much because of the things he used to say about her made you think he didn't really care about her so much. AND, do let him know what she said and that you realize now that you shouldn't have believed her, but should have talked to him first.
You were wrong in all of this. Even if he did say stuff about you behind your back, what you did was worse. Sorry, but it's true. Friends should never steal each others g/f's. If you ever find yourself falling in love with the girlfriend of your best friend, then you should either get over it or talk to your friend first and see if he'd care if you dated her or not.......AFTER they break up only. Never during their dating. My friends and I swore a long time ago that we'd never date each other's ex's or even date someone the other person was interested in. All of us have kept our word and have never had a reason to fight over a man. That's what friends do. If you write your friend a letter, email him or call him and let him know that you have learned this lesson, maybe you can rebuild your friendship. Just be prepared to keep trying, but in a way that doesn't bug him too much.
PS: A pair of tickets to a sports game or movie or something might help make things a bit better. He might listen to you then. Just a thought. Good luck.
2007-11-01 22:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pursue him. He's one of the best friend you've ever had in your whole life. You two are like brothers. Don't ruin you relationship because of a girl you no longer date with. However, give your best friend some time to relax and calm down.
After a few weeks probably, then sit him down and say how sorry you were.
2007-11-02 04:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bros before hoes matey, woman come and go but mates are forever.. Youve just learnt a real important lesson.. Just remember next time, that theres always plenty of great girls, but only ONE best mate..
2007-11-02 04:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by K J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep betrayal and hurt by a friend can really ruin a friendship.
My advice, give it one more go - write him a letter, say you really miss his friendship and you regret .....
If that still doesn't work - move on and learn from your mistakes.
2007-11-02 04:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to being one of life's little lessons. If you hadn't been a butt-munch in the first place by going after his girlfriend, you wouldn't have a problem now. Always remember: never let a woman turn you into an idiot.
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Upon reading your additional details, I would like to repeat: Never let a woman turn you into an idiot.
2007-11-02 04:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by Nighthawke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask him whats wrong and tell him your sorry again
go up to him and tell that to his face. ask him if hes alright and tell him again your sorry
you gotta explaine to him what happended
get the girl to do the same
2007-11-02 04:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by Dutchess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope that you learned your lesson.
2007-11-02 04:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you went where you should not have done - I would say move on now
2007-11-02 04:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by Barbie V 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋