I have problem with my in law family. I tried to forgive and forget all the things they have done to me but it easy to say than done. I loved my husband so much but i just can't stand his family anymore especially my mother in law she such a pain in the ***. My husband knows about his mother attitude toward me but he didn't do anything about it because of his obligation to her. It hurt me a lot and sometime I really want to ask for a devorce and go far away from them. The only thing that stopped me is my daughter. Yes she the only reason for me to hold on and be patitence. But for how long?? I'm tired and each day I felt more depressed. My mother in law had done something teribble to me and I really want to take revenge on her but I can't if she still my mother in law and I know my husband won't let it. Between loves for my husband or revenge toward her what shoud I do?
Please I'm seeking for help and advice what should I do???
2007-11-01 20:32:55 · 16 answers · asked by fz7481 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course you have to choose the "love" because love will make you happy.
revenge is bad, time will come that your mother inlaw will regret everything that she did to you, put everything in god's hands, trust him. god's has plan's for you. in the meantime be strong, dont let your mother inlaw take away the happiness of your daughter for having a whole family, and ofcourse your happiness too. why dont you talk to your husband and tell him that you are really hurting a lot... and also why not talk to your mother inlaw, ask her straight why is she like that to you, ask her if have you ever did something to her that she never like, tel her you want peace and a happy life, but speak to your mother inlaw calmly..
here is my email,
thelove_advicer@yahoo.com
2007-11-01 21:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by loveadvicer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is emotionally abusing you and your husband is allowing it then there is a problem. What happens when (and she will) starts abusing your daughter?
Revenge, although sweet, isn't the answer. You will be setting a bad example for your daughter (which by the way your husband is already doing).
Now matter how old, children aren't stupid and even though they may not show it they are very in tuned to our feelings and behavior. Your depression because of the situation you are in is not only hurting you but is probably also hurting your daughter.
Have you asked your husband to go to counseling with you? He may not want to go and if that's the case, you should still go by yourself. If money is an issue there are many therapists out there that will see you on a sliding scale. Or if you belong to a church it may be possible for the reverend or priest to speak with you both.
Unfortunately I can't give you a final answer as to what to do, only you can do that...and the help of a therapist (whether pastoral or in an therapists office).
Take care and good luck.
2007-11-01 20:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by alison352 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should choose love because that's the right thing to do. Revenge will only cause you trouble. Just don't take too much time worrying about your mother in law because it will only make you depress. Just show love to your husband and your daughter, in the long run, maybe your mother in law will feel guilty for doing bad things to such a lovely wife of her son. Stay firm and self-controlled. Good ones always win in the end.
2007-11-01 20:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by lopera 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason for your mother in laws behaviour is not mentioned and your husband has to take a decision of talking to his mom and you by making you both sit to gether and he should express his views to both which he is avoiding to do that. He should talk in such a manner where you and your m-in law do not feel let down.and that might lead to a better future and reduce the tensions which is presently there. Bcoz divorce is not the solution for all this things, but a clear talk which is sole responsibility of your Husband.Ask him to talk instead of running away leaving you alone to handle.
2007-11-01 20:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by kamal m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is just a pain, then i think you can put up with it...derpression from someone is a horrible thing... most of all you have to know who you are, no matter what your mother and law or husband thinks... your obligtion to your child is huge, and for sticking to that i commend you..but you husband sounds like he doesnt really care to much.. no matter what, mother, wife, son, daughter, aunt sally from the peanut stand, he should understand that respect is earned, and not something you are born into..if he loves you, and knows his mother is an bad person, then he shouldnt respect her at all, and should put his foot down, and try and help you, and be there for you... if he doesnt do that, then go get an actuall man...you sound like you deserve more, and starting over is tough, but happiness should be your true goal for yourself and your daughter..oh sorry, to answer you question on love or revenge, its both... walk out of your house, tell your husband and daughter you love them, and smack the sh*t out of his mother..
2007-11-01 20:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by seventy9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an awful situation. Support your husband as best you can, share with him your pain, and pray for your in-laws. Find ways to serve them and win them over. It will be a long, hard battle, but you chose this man and made vows. You could have chosen someone else.
2007-11-01 20:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by MadGeniusClown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
revenge is never sweet.
obviously the problem here is you just never got along well with your mother in law. by census, they are pain in the a**.
so if shes the ugly picture in your painting, how about avoiding crossing her path as much as possible.
if your marriage still rocks (does it?) then dont make this affect it. men always manage to brush off emotional baggage, and of cors, its involving his mom. so why dont you take some time off, be by yourself and think things over.
be honest to yourself what's really happening in your marriage (why thoughts of divorce and leaving him?) and avoid scapegoats.
lastly, you do have your life before plunging into marriage. its about time to think about YOU and what makes you HAPPier.
2007-11-01 20:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her and be the stronger one. What kind of son would your husband be if he chose not to be a part of his mother's life. Don't make him chose between you and his mom, the two most important women in life.
2007-11-01 20:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by school_questions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have married with your husband in first round,and if your goodness is not apreciate at his true value,let him go away for ever from your house and then your problem diseapeer for good! Trust me,cutting the bad things frem roots is the best way!!! ALL MY RESPECT!!!
2007-11-01 20:40:58 · answer #9 · answered by roly_bv_do 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would divorce your husband if it weren't for your daughter? Yet you claim to love him? Learn the meaning of the word love and harden up. She only does it because you let her.
2007-11-01 21:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋