a few months ago, i discovered that my wife is texting someone at work. Recently, she told me that hes flirting with her. I asked her if shes returning the flirts with flirts of her own? she replied no! she did mention to me that she has thought about what it would be like to kiss him? what should i do or how do i react? i have never been much of a jealous man! I trust her but this is eating at me? what do i do?
help please.....
kevin
2007-11-01 20:22:18 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude, that's F'd up. It sounds to me like she's doing one of those stupid woman tricks, where it's a good idea to keep your man jealous, so he knows you're still there and could do it for other men anytime.
Honestly that's what it sounds like. Tell her it's eating at you. Hire some call girl to call you and see how she likes it.
2007-11-01 20:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by lovinglifeina69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st- Calm down it will be ok
2nd- Open up and have calm collective communication
3rd- Have trust and believe your wife
4th- If it is that important and you really want to breech the subject matter and/or are having a hard time join some activites together and possibly start counseling.
Honestly so what if she is thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. I see other girls and I might think she is pretty good looking etc. But that does not mean I would cheat on her or if my wife admires a good looking guy and jokes around with him in a manner as you described it does not mean she would cheat on me. Play it cool and keep open communication and be secure and confident. I think your wife is just having fun joking around with her co-worker, often co workers become really close friends and like family because of the time away from home. With my wife I trust she knows who she is comming home. Trust is key!
Good luck, I am sure you will do the right thing.
2007-11-02 03:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jason M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kevin you in a bad place to be and I'm sorry for you. You have talked to her and that is the first step. Leting he know you love her and care about her is something you should be doing all of the time, but now you should let her know you don't thing this is a good idea to go forth with and why.
Remember marriage is a two way street. You have to be building the relationship all of the time or it will start to get old and fall apart. Kind of like a old road it has to be maintained or it will just fall apart with out repairs. Being involved in any thing that could hurt one or both of you in a marriage is not good and shouldn't be happening.
She should thing of her safety. As a woman if she brings down the barrier between her and him, She is lowering the standard this guy has to use when talking and acting around her. If is back to the old line, your asking for it, or I told you so.
The action of thinging about kissing someone outside of a marriage is not new. That happens, but my Mothers advice to me was simple: They are all the same on the outside, their thoughts and deeds make them different, the act of kissing is simple, but the act of forgetting is hard, if you cheat, you don't cheat your partner, you cheat yourself. The act didn't change you on the outside, but if it changes you on the inside then you have to live with it, but if it effect your marriage, your head or your life, what is the cost? is it worth the risk, or should somethings go without being tried?
Remember this being jealous is only something you can do if it is your's and your's alone. I for one don't care to own a woman, but sharing my life with one, that is simply the right thing to do in my mind for me to be fullfilled.
Good luck and go slow and be far.
2007-11-02 03:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by John M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, firstly you should sit down with her and ask her why she's been accepting this attention from another man. Ask her if she feels neglected by you (not saying its your fault), ask her if its just exciting to know that others still find her attractive, or if she feels something needs to change in your marriage.
About the kissing, if she's wondering about kissing him, its apparent she finds him attractive or interesting at least, and this is a red flag. She's establishing an unsuitable relationship with this person, now granted having a little crush now and there is almost unavoidable, but she seems to be letting him act on his crush.
And lastly.. if it's eating away at you, you're her HUSBAND you deserve to know whats going on between them. Just make sure you sit down and talk with her. Communication is always key.
I hope this helped, and good luck. :)
2007-11-02 03:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Lovey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the wife wants some reaction from you or she would have never told you.
I would suspect that your love life has a small flame going right now. Why don't you do something very romantic for her, that will surely send her to work talking all about what her wonderful hubby did.
Also, let he know that you do NOT feel it is appropriate for her to be talking to this guy outside of work as she IS a married lady!
And be firm about it and you could also ask her how she would feel if you were doing the same thing??
Good luck
2007-11-02 03:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have the right to be upset, knowing that your wife actually confronted you about "wanting to cheat". However, I give her credit for telling you. But, the thing is, all of this is really normal. We flirt and fantacize about things that we want or desire. Your wife sees somthing in this guy that she doesn't see in you. It might just be that he is flirting and showing interenst in her. How close is your relationship? Sit down and talk to her about this, but don't get to upset or start yelling,this may push her to fulfill the desire.
If i were you, I would have all of her txt messages traced (check with your network provider). Most providers can print you out a list of the messages very easily. That way you can know EXACTLY what is goin on!
2007-11-02 03:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she tells you this, she loves you. Other wise she wouldn't have told you. Spend more time with her. Take her out to movies, dinner, amusement parks. Remind her the days you both met and spent quality time together. Walk with her on parks, beach. Have a Sunday picnic with her alone. Maybe she's bored and need some attention from you. Remind yourself that spending time with her in more important than work work work. We work 40 plus hours a week and forgot about the things we treasure.
2007-11-02 03:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Vash the Stampede 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and let her know exactly how you are feeling. If she really loves you and respect the marriage, she will understand. Besides, there's really no reason for her to be leading another guy on when she's married. You have a right to feel as you do about this situation and don't let her tell you otherwise.
2007-11-02 03:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by mlvue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be better if u talk with ur wife about it. Love her more and tell her that u want her and also say that it will hurt you a lot if u find her loving someone other than you. if u love her sincerely , u will get it back and she would never think of someone else
2007-11-02 03:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if the problem at hand happens to you, how would she react.
and why is she texting him back? a moth to flame? starting a small fire?
or is she plainly teasing you?
and y would she imagine some other man kissing her? are ur kisses not good enough? how was she when you met her? flirty too?
be able to lay down the rules for your marriage. coz if not, more troubles lay ahead.
2007-11-02 03:28:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋