When your poor, live in a poor area and your friends are rich, live in ritzy areas, what do u do?

Question

I go to a top art college in nyc, i made some good friends, they all come from upper middle class backgrounds. One friend has an apartment in the city her parents pay for, i went to her parents home in upstate NY , they have a boat, nice 3 story house, cars, nice decor, etc.. all my friends are like this now..

Im really ashamed to invite them to where i live, but i know their prob wondering why i havent. I live in a poor area, in a rent controlled walk up, people blast music all night, play dominos in the street, have housing projects, thugs, etc. I have baby furniture still in my room, my mom is too poor to buy anything else.
i am white btw.
I just cant bear to invite them. I feel they will think less of me, be turned off, make fun of me, feel bad for me, etc
i told one girl i live with my Mom so you dont want to come over its boring...
I invited my ex over who came from a nice area, he was shocked, he told me he cant beleive someone like me lives in an area like this.

he told me its dangerous, then offered to buy me furniture. was embrassing.
So how does someone like me handle this? being ashamed of where you live
I have a work study job that pays for my tranportation, art supplies, daily money.
i dont make enough to move, i have 20 credits- hard art classes

im also afraid of someone in the area harrasing them, most of my friends from HS who visited me here were threatened, sexually harrased, etc

Answer 1

Just don't lie to rich friends about your circumstances. They like you because you are genuine. You also need to take a better attitude towards your situation, by acknowledging the ability of your mom to raise you and get you where you are. Its home, its modest, and yeah, you're poor. And, if you lose them because they learn of your poverty, then, you know, they aren't the kind of rich friends you need. There are many rich people who are earthy and even know what it was like to be poor. Just be yourself.

Answer 2

When my husband and I first got together we didn't have any money. We were really poor, and our parents couldn't help us out, because they weren't well off, either. I was studying and my hubby could only get part time work, and things were very tight financially.

Anyway, he got a job offer with a VERY classy restaurant in the area, and started working there. He was a very friendly guy who could talk to anyone and he made a lot of acquaintances with people from all sorts of backgrounds.

Soon we were invited to their homes for meals and parties, and one day we knew we HAD to return the invitation or we would look bad.

We lived over a shop on a busy (and noisy) main road and right next door to us was another shop with a restaurant underneath and above it a brothel. On the other side was a gambling club that was open 24 hours a day. This is absolutely true.

You can imagine that we felt it would be hard to have people come there, especially people from houses with swimming pools, fancy cars and so on, but we were trying to save money for our future and couldn't move to a more expensive area just so we could socialise.

So, what we did was invite a few people over for dinner, six in all. We cleaned the place from top to bottom and cooked up the nicest meal ever. We had a couple of bottles of nice wine, and some laid back music playing.

We acted like our house was the best place ever, and as the evening wore on, we all had so much fun, we sort of forgot we were the poor ones in a bad neighbourhood. It was just a nice night with some good friends.

Over the next couple of years we had lots of nights and days with friends at our place. And more than one of the told me that they loved to come to our place because it was warm and welcoming, they always felt wanted and enjoyed themselves.

Our place, not theirs, was where people would come to 'hang out' and enjoy each others' company.

So anyway, I just want to say ~ don't change yourself and don't be ashamed of your home.

It sounds like your Mum has worked hard to keep a roof over your head and that you are an honest and hard working person with an honest family.

Your Mum has not gone into debt to try and impress people, but has lived how she can afford. I admire that because it is real, not phoney and pretensious.

Honesty, industry, respectability and the love in your home, are worth more than any mansion.

Your former bf may have thought he was helping you, but I am sorry to say he behaved quite ignorant. The fact is, not everyone is rich. Being poor is no shame, but there is no excuse for being ignorant.

People who are your friends don't come to your home to look down on you, they will come to share the friendship you offer them.

Those who use your possessions, status and address to judge you are not worth your time or effort, especially as you are young and have your future ahead of you. Who knows where your next address will be?

It took me a long time to find this out, but it is completely true ~ Your true friends will judge you by the quality of your friendship, not your neighbourhood. People you have to impress so they will like you, are not worth the trouble they make.

Invite just one or two people you trust at first, and don't act like it's any big deal. Make sure the place is totally spotless and as tidy as can be, show pride in your home. Invite them when your Mum is there, introduce them and share a meal. When they go into your room, make a point of telling them how much you love sleeping on your childhood furniture because you had a great childhood. Then do some studying or whatever, have a few laughs and share the friendship.

Make who you are part of your own style, and be proud of it. It's very very classy to love who you are and where you are from, so walk tall and have some fun with it!

Best wishes to you :-)

Answer 3

The best thing in this case is to come out and be honest.
One thing I've learned from many well to do people is that
for the most part they are honest, and almost always very
courteous.
I Cr 13;8a

Answer 4

I been the same way you are. I was ashamed that my room looked bare because I didn't have a bed like most girls in highschool and I shared the room with my sister. But if they are truly your friends they wouldn't care where you live.

Answer 5

the division of society in economic classes disbles sociaization across such class divisions. u cannot wish away these differences. u shd be frank enough to state your/ family's financial position while socializing with them. not necessary to invite them to your home if not feasible as u said.

Answer 6

Steal from them