How do you deal with a very selfish controlling person who has?

Question

taken the joy out of your life.She is mad at me because I would not allow her to talk on my phone having a derrogatory conversation about his wife as they were having problems. I told her I just didn't want that in my house. This is the third couple she has stuck her nose into their business causing all kinds of dissention and choosing sides. I told her that if she had to do that then talk to them both at the same time if you want to help so much(she really was in it for the gossip. And I told her that their marriage is none of her business, they have kids and by her interfering not only is she making it worse for the couple but she isn't even thinking about the kids.So I told her to get off the phone, she just put her hand up in my face so she could hear more dirt. When she got off I told her never to do that in my house. I tried to explain to her that she is not a marriage counselor and she should worry about her own family Now she won't let me see her kids one of which I raised

Answer 1

Well, you have the right to not let her use your phone for any conversation, for that matter.

This is her character and either you accept her 'as is' or move on from this "friendship".

In your home you have the right to be respected. Anyone who doesn't respect you and the rules for your home is not welcome. That's a nice, clear boundary and it makes it easy for you to define who does respect you and who doesn't.

As for the emotional blackmail about not letting you see her children, well, it's sad for you and the children, but there's nothing you can do when the mother is so immature as to use them as a weapon and you aren't biologically related.

Answer 2

You have a good point but it sounds like the way your talking to her may be a little demeaning. My house, what is that? Your married right? So isn't it both? I would put my hand in your face too if you were telling me to get off the phone like I was a teenager? You sound controlling yourself, maybe you just don't like the fact that she is controlling too? If she has taken the joy out of your life then maybe you should help to try to put more joy back into hers because obviously she is focused on making other marriages work because she wants the same for hers.

Answer 3

I didn't see if she is your wife or just a friend. If it is just a friend then you can control what happens. You do not have to let her use the phone. If it is your wife, then you need to explain to her probably again and again that it is none of her business how would she like it if someone started doing that to her? I just saw the last sentence, if she is not living with you, you do not have to let her use the phone. If she will not let you see the kids then you can go to court and try to get visitation. If you truly love the children which are not yours then continue to try to stay in their lives. Send cards, letters, call, email whatever. Keep asking to see them. Let the kids know how you feel about them and try your best with your circumstances to be there for them.

Answer 4

you be attentive to the form of man or woman he's and you have discovered which you would be able to no longer substitute people who do no longer % to alter. the tough actuality is that everyone you're able to do is desperate up limitations on your dating with him. proceed to ask him on your place yet are not getting emotionally invested in his reaction. If he chooses to no longer have a dating alongside with your newborn then it is his loss. Sorry you will desire to handle this. with a bit of luck your inlaws are extra supportive.

Answer 5

Is this person related to you? Because I can't believe anyone would choose to have someone like this in their life.

Answer 6

Leave her. That way when karma smashes her, you wont get caught in the carnage.

Answer 7

Sorry, you are probably right, but you can't control what others do.

Answer 8

Wow, what a *****. Sue her for custody.