She walked out on me and returned months later, asking to come back. I took her back, insisting on different bank accounts and not reintroducing her back to my son (from prev. marriage) who loved her. We're trying to work it out by dating and starting over, but its still in the back of my mind that she will leave again even tho she says she wont. Her family was very upset that she left me so now im thinking shes back just cause of them. I thought by starting fresh with everything it would clear my head and regain trust. I'm not sure if i love her anymore either. Do love and trust come back again, or is it that once they are gone, they're gone? I dont know how long I can wait for them to come back or is it a futile wait?
2007-11-01 18:57:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It will always be in the back of your mind She has broken your trust.If you having doubts now, in my opinion it wont work You and your son will have to go the through emotional trauma again which is unfair on him.
2007-11-01 19:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by CreativeMusicArtist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOunds like you love her but may not be "in love with her" sounds corny I know but it is a age old saying that is still true. You obviously are having a tough time trusting her and I don't know that you will ever completely forget what she did, if you can and forgive her completely then I say make another go of it. However Trust and love are the roots of marriage and if you have neither or a defficiency in one or the other then you will find yourself in an unhealthy relationship. Also you have to think of your son as well, not sure how old he is but he has to love and trust her as well and if he can't you may need to take that into consideration. Technically you are still married and Divorce is very ugly and expensive but a marriage that is going nowhere with two people who can't trust each other is worse so I say you have a lot to think about. I personally would give her a chance but let her know that it is a trial basis, what she did is I believe a legitamate reason to divorce her in the eyes of the law so keep that in mind. Plus you have to wonder what she did for that time she was gone. Good luck man I hope it works out however you want it to.
2007-11-01 20:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by B-Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have any emotions either.. well I have three... happy, grumpy and indifferent... occasionally embarassed... lmfao... but only when I'm tied up with rope on stage with some bondage queen spanking my butt... lol. Anyway... Im so emotionally void, I don't know how my wife and family put up with me sometimes. Fortunately my wife is highly emotional. Together we kind of make a balance. I dont think you can blame yourself for what your wife feels. Whatever she does feel, she will feel it no matter how hard you try. What you can do is speak to her about how you feel when she says she feels the way she does... just like you did here. As for trust... I'm not sure I know how yu lost that part. If you have done something wrong, you need to set it right somehow. Ask her what you can do.
2016-05-27 00:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing with my ex.She left for a guy she worked with.She left our Son with me.It was on his first birthday.She came back when he was almost 3 but she left again several times.Her family would stay in touch with my Mother and when they could force her to come back my Mother would send her a plane ticket.We finaly divorced but it was after my Mother and her parents had died.The trust never comes back.Good luck.
2007-11-01 19:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it all can come back. you have to be willing to really let it though.. first thing you got to do is watch her actions. that speaks louder then words. she has to be willing to be an open book to you and let you check on her and see that she is where she suppose to be. i am sure everytime she goes out the door you worry is she coming back. so she needs to let you check on her at anytime and if shes not doing anything she shouldnt have a problem with that.. once you feel she can be trustworthy again then you will be able to move on to the next stage of your lifes. talk to her and make sure your both wanting the same thing out of your marriage. also what you can do for her to make her feel shes wanted by you and loved by you. you can get it all back if your both willing to work on it real hard. if you can get her to get counseling with you that would help.. getting everything out on the table so you can work though what went wrong the first time. good luck
2007-11-01 19:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to have alot of open communication. Talk about why this happened and make sure you are both willing to work on changing the situation.
Check out website: Marriagebuilder.com
It has alot of info on how to rebuild a marriage after an affair and trust is broken.
Good Luck!
2007-11-01 19:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe counseling will help you sort this out. You have shut down from the pain from what I have read that you have written. Maybe even a somewhat depressed as depression can affect your emotions or lack or emotions and feelings.
2007-11-01 19:02:24 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a spine. She walks out and then comes back and makes demands? Send her packing.
She isn't the person you thought she was.
2007-11-01 19:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once this happens in time it will happen again you have a son to think of she.s shown you that she cant be trusted by leaving and sleeping around with who ever she was with while away from you it wont work. my opon?
2007-11-01 19:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love and trust are hard to earn back after they have been destroyed, is she worth it??? you dont seem to know the real reason she left you, sounds like she just wants a place to land.
2007-11-01 19:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by LV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋