Does it matter whether its the Guy or the Gal who asks for a Date?

Question

Would you rather be the one making the first move?
Does it matter who makes the first move?

What do you think?

Answer 1

Yes of course it matters. Your answerers are living in eworld not real world. Just scroll through your previous questions and answers and you will see the very reason WHY it matters.

Traditions usually continue because they have a function, a purpose. In the case of who asks who then the purpose is three fold. Firstly, it is to prevent embarrassment, manners not only set the tone but give instructions to both sides of ways in which to act to prevent others from being uncomfortable.

Secondly, the 'asking' should be the confirmation of interest by both parties, again this is protective, in this instance of a lady's reputation. Again look at your questions and answers about the difference between girlfriends and wives; how women are perceived in reality. In the real world where people can not hide behind eworld avatars this is even more predominant.

Who wants to date a guy who does not have the manners and respect to make it easy for you or who doesn't have the confidence to ask you for a date?

I will get slaughtered for this answer, but here goes. For the girls that argue that if they fancy a bloke they should ask him out I ask you these questions:

Women have never needed to ask men out, women generally have excellent communication skills even without speaking to show a man she is interested. Why would you need to catch his attention by asking him for a date? If he has not noticed you and doesn't already know you are interested then why would you make the first move?

In my opinion, for there to be real attraction for most women it is on several levels not just physical appearance. If you do not have some dialog with the man then how can you know you want to form a relationship? Otherwise is it not just a physical attraction with the view of a one night stand? Even then if he hasn't noticed you and made the first move ..........

The problem for most women is not that they cant get a date, it is that lots of men make a move. If you are flirting back, he will make a move if he is interested. If not then there are always loads of other offers there. Why would you need to ask?

Lastly all this stuff about equality; that men and women should be equally able to ask. Yep sure, women have equal opportunities, equality of career, no child rearing/caring commitments, no consequences through loss of reputation etc .......... yeah, yeah, yeah, not real.

Would I ever ask a man out? No way on earth he would already know I was interested. And if he didn't have the confidence to do it, then frankly I am just not interested any more.

Waiting for the thumbs down.

EDIT:

Oh Richie, I am so sorry you are disappointed, but I am afraid I will disappoint you some more as I am not feminist at all. Men do not HAVE to be a macho pursuer, this suggests that women are not taking an active part, which I am not suggesting at all. There should be no awkwardness, how can there be? If both parties are respectful of one another and if feelings are not reciprocated, then no matter what, there is no possibility of a relationship anyway. Quiet men are fine, passive men are fine it is not about aggression, it is about confidence. I am not suggesting that they are not worth being in a relationship with. What I state, and I thought clearly, is that attraction is a MUTUAL thing, that if there is obvious interest on both parts then, in my opinion, it is the man that asks.

If a man gets it wrong, there is no reason to believe he will be shot down, it is up to both parties to be graceful and kind as possible. If you are getting shot down you are asking too early or frankly misreading the signs and asking the wrong woman. If you have been direct, clear of your intentions and the interest has been reciprocated then how can you be rejected? So there is no reason why you should keep asking again and again. Similarly it is a compliment to a woman to be asked, you should not be made to feel that you are putting yourself 'on the line'. You mistake what I am saying, handsome sleazy idiots are weeded out, attraction is on many levels, not just physical attraction. Aggression is not the same as confidence. Only a fool would want a man to be aggressive towards them or other people.

Acceptable levels of flirting are a personal thing. However, it does not have to be exhibitionism, it does not even have to be public, it is communication between the two of you and best kept private, even a wink. Who else needs to see it?

If a girl asks a guy for a date, she is, in your words 'shallow slick idiot who chases everything in' [trousers]'.
Perhaps our views are formed more by the social norms of our own groups rather than gender on this issue.
Or maybe it is related to age? Within my group of friends even the feminists feel that it is the men's responsibility to make the first move. We have discussed this often, and agree that any woman is able to 'tell' any man very clearly that she is interested without ever having to say a word. It is up to him to be polite and ask ...... or not.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Doesn't matter to me who asks or who makes the first move. I find more men my age are traditional about dating and dating/gender roles, but there are definitely plenty of exceptions. I'm with the exception (I'm 49).

Answer 4

I have been asked out by gals before and I have asked gals to go out with me as well. I don't think it matters who makes the first move.

Answer 5

Good question, I was about to answer in detail but seeing that Permaculture Bella has already said what I was about to say. So I would go with her answer 100%. Good answer Bella, Answered like a lady. Cheers.

Take care and God bless you.


Edit :- Thanks for the Thumbs Down anway Cheers !
I guess the world is running short on true "Ladies and Gentlemen" thats just tooo bad.

Answer 6

To answer your questions...

- Not to me, it doesn't matter who asks who.
- I would definitely make the first move, if I detected there was mutual interest.
- I think that most of us make an awfully big deal about it...
it's just asking someone to hang out sometime, it's not like one is requesting a kidney donation, hehe.

Answer 7

It does to an extent, but it shouldn't. I would personally rather not make the first move, but I could if I wanted to.

Answer 8

I think in this day and age when women have more opportunities and are more independent...its normal. Maybe back in the 50's it would have matter, but not today!
Today if a women does that it just shows she has confidence and knows what she wants. I see nothing wrong with it.

Answer 9

I've asked the guy and the guy's asked me. I don't care which way it happens. Sometimes the gal waits a lil longer to mkae sure you're interested though. If you want a quicker answer and date you should just ask.

Answer 10

I think it would be fun if it was more socially acceptable and common for women to make the first move. I am sorry to say that I never have. I shall hand in my feminist card now.