Im 20, in college and an extremely extroverted, nice, friendly and healthy young woman. Sometimes it sort of bothers me, however, to think that I have NEVER been asked out by a guy. I've never been out on a date with anyone although I have tons of friends who love me(in a platonic way). I'm also very outgoing and people perceive me as a very happy and self-confident person. So what could be a reason for this? I also want to mention that I am very short and brown-toned. Although I don't think that my looks could be the main reason for it, as people in all different sizes and shapes still have somebody, sometimes I do ponder about my appearance.
I have no clue as to why no guy has ever found me attractive or nobody has ever showed any interest in me in a romantic way.
What could possibly be the reason? I feel absolutely clueless.
Would I end up as the single 50-year-old virgin when all my friends would have kids already in school?
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No guys have actually expressed any kind of interest in me before no matter how friendly we were to each other, and most of the men I know here in college or anywhere these days are either homosexual or in a relationship. Some people get shocked when they hear that I never had a boyfriend (which sort of makes me feel a little awkward). A lot of my girl friends (who are straight) think I am a beautiful and jovial woman with a really attractive smile and the best personality. So sometimes I just think that "How come I never had anybody into me?"
Another thing is that most of the guys that I found attractive were never really into me at all. Thus, I didn't even bother to make the first move anytime.
2007-11-01 17:31:32 · 21 answers · asked by curious 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I agree with you, I don't think looks has anything to do with it (maybe to some, but not all). There are plain-looking girls with boyfriends, and vice-versa. While it seems you feel that you're the *only* girl that hasn't had a boyfriend, you must ask yourself if you're looking at the right places to look for one. Do you go to clubs/bars a lot? Maybe those are the wrong places. Why not try online dating? It's the 21st century, Internet dating is now a much more common thing to do. Do you have any particular hobbies and/or interests? Why not join a club or attend conventions where you can meet people who shares the same interests as you do.
In any case, I don't think there is something wrong with you at all. It's possible to find someone, you need only to look in the right place. As for me, I met my current girlfriend playing WoW... and she is by far the most fun, sweet, greatest gf ever!! She may not be the "best looking" girl compared to the others I've had (met and dated "pretty" girls from bars and such), but to me she is beautiful in my eyes :-) I just adore her... in fact, I am planning on proposing this Christmas :-)
Anyway, don't worry, you are still young, I'm positive you will find someone! Join a club, go to events, try online dating, hey maybe even play WoW :-) who knows, you may actually meet someone and hit it off! Good luck!
2007-11-01 19:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by CrusadeR 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 08:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by emilios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You are 20, not 50. Many men and women have not found the love of their life by your age nor even dated tons. I know you probably feel lonely, but the only thing wrong with you is that you worry too much:)
2. I think talking about this with a therapist is a good idea. Many women seem to think they aren't complete if they aren't in a relationship.
3. Dating is hard. You want to be yourself, yet not scare anyone off. There are lots of men and women going through the exact same thing as yourself.
4. Try giving the nice guy you would never give a chance a shot. Worked for me:)
2007-11-01 17:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyes 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes men are intimidated by self-assured women, by women who are comfortable with themselves because they don't know how to approach them. I am not saying that its a bad thing that you are self-assured, in fact I wish I could be more like that myself. But beautiful, self-assured women can be scary!
You have obviously put yourself out there a number of times, and nothing has happened. I went through the same thing. But you can't give up and decide that no one is ever going to want you, because there are people out there who are looking for someone just like you. They just haven't found you or haven't realised it yet.
You say that all your guy friends are either homosexual or in a relationship. Maybe you need to go out more often to clubs or bars, get all dressed up, and make some new guy friends - ones who are single and straight. That way even if it doesn't turn into a relationship, you will have more single, straight friends, who in turn might have single, straight friends to hook you up with.
You just need to keep putting yourself out there and don't give up. Keep letting the guys you like know about it because even if they don't feel that way right then, knowing someone likes you can make a person see that you could actually like them. You might be missing the signs from the guys you meet because some guys are really subtle about letting you know that they like you. But whatever you do, don't give up!
2007-11-01 18:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the guys see you more as a friend than anything else. It seems like you're really fun loving and you're a great person to be around, so maybe these guys see you as a friend and that's all. I don't know why, maybe some guy will reply to this.
It'll just take time. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but...try to get away from the typical college crowd every once in awhile. If the guys do just see you as a friend, then try going out where no one knows you can you can let them get to know you as possibly more than a firend. Your personality is going to be a definite turn-on
2007-11-01 17:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have many guy-friends, and they would never jeopardize their friendship for a sexual relationship that might not work out. The reason for your situation is your great friendship with these guys. In my life, having many male friends was like having many brothers: they were always very protective, attentive and generous toward me. Many years later we had a conversation about that: they confessed that they would of liked to have a relationship with me at the time, but were hesitant of loosing our great friendship. Look outside of your circle of friends. Take a trip with other single people: I am sure your college and church has many opportunities available. And flirt away!
2007-11-01 18:51:37 · answer #6 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are normal. Sometimes we try too hard and usually outgoing people are the ones that appear to be the doing that. I don't want to make you feel bad but sometimes one has to back off and listen, and that can be hard when you have a lot to say. Sometimes it comes across as being opinionated and to some it seems that it is not easy to express them selves.
Sometimes intelligent people are not willing to listen to others and fine them boring. It can be surprising to find out how shy and introverted people have a lot to say and it takes a listener to get that out of them.
I hope I have not come across as being judgmental or insulting. I know many times I have talked when I should have been listening. My grandfather told me: "Son, you cannot learn about people or anything else if you are talking, the only thing you do is expose yourself to others and they will try to pick holes in your character."
Please don't think I am being insulting. I am only trying to say that you can be outgoing but sometimes you have to let others do the same.
2007-11-01 17:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by boworl 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean. Maybe guys feel intimidated by you they feel that maybe you have so much going for your self.
Hey your still young just cause your a virgin now doesn't mean you will stay for ever there is always someone out there for everyone. Many girls are just all slutty that's why u see so many guys after them but its just for sex. Just be yourself don't be shy, if you like a guy get your flirt on ... you know guys they are so stupid you practically have to put a sign in front of there face so they can see what your trying to tell them.
2007-11-01 17:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Yvett 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chin up. Maybe if you do some volunteer work you will meet more people with similar interests - and some of these people are bound to be guys around your age. Think about what kind of charity work interests you, and the dynamics of the group you would be working with. I'm sure you could do a kazillion things - you sound very capable, and nice. The very worst thing that could happen is that you would be benefitting some disadvantaged group in your community. It's win-win.
2007-11-01 17:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Give it some time, im sure somebody will come upon you.
From what i read, you sound like an awesome person to be around, and it wouldnt suprise me if you were asked out in the next 5 years.
2007-11-01 17:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by D3V!N 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋