Is this just a phase or is it not normal!?!??!?!?!?

Question

My parents recently went through a divorce. I'm really deppressed about it. When i think about it i cant stop crying. Ever since the divorce, i've been listening to really loud hard rock and some gothic/punk music, hardly talking to anyone, avoiding people, and getting really deppressed all the time. My friends dont seem to care that much. Ariel has gone through a divorce, but she was 2 years old.... My brother doesnt mind that much about it.... He is only 10 though. My teachers (specifically my history teacher and my english teacher) seem worried. When my history teacher greets the class at the door, just about every day, he asks me if im doing ok. I just nod. My english teacher just looks at me occasionally as if she knows something's bothering me. I seem to be losing my temper alot more than usual. I feel like im spinning out of control. I'm seriously loosing it! I'm getting worked up alot and Ty, a good guy friend, is always getting worried and telling me to calm down.

Ty seems really scared when I loose my temper. (my temper is easy to set off and it is REALLY dangerous!) I cant control myself most of the time. Sometimes I've thought of committing suicide... Help me!!!

BTW -- School just started a month or so ago, and im in 7th grade. new school. I dont know my counselor yet. I think i can schedule to meet them in the office though, i'll try that on monday!!!

Answer 1

Go talk to the school counselor.

Answer 2

What you are going through is perfectly normal as you have suffered a heavy emotional blow. You lose your temper to get your feelings out. You are probably feeling a whole lot aof mixture of feelings inside yourself now, like depression, sadness, guilt, anger, self-pity (sorry, pls don't be mad at me) etc and it all comes out in the form of (the 2 most dangerous ways) anger and depression. What you must understand is that (at least some) people around you are concerned about you and for the sake of them, try to control your temper.
Try to get the feeling that peole love you and are always there for you- your friend Ty, your teachers etc. If you need someone to talk to, try talking to Ty or some other best friend or (though you may not prefer it) the councilor. This will help getting some burden off your shoulders and your mind.
Do stuff that used to interest you and get some company while you do that. that will probably teach you how to socialize once more.
The most crucial and the hardest thing for you to understand is that somethings happen even when you don't want them to happen. You are probably feeling that your parents didn't care for their kids when they took this step, then you are wrong. they must have taken this step as they didn't want their kids to grow up in an environment where the people closest to them did not love each other.
This will surely take some time but you will surely adjust to the change. It is hard- going to a new school and new people and all that change, but be patient and don't get frustrated. Don't beat yourself up, try to control yourself and sometimes let out these feelings by beating up your bedroom pillow. And don't think of ending your life. Always have hope and remember, you are still loved and cared for.

Answer 3

OK you have several indicaters that your behavior is not normal. 1st of all if you are even asking if its normal to have thoughts of suicide then you have a couple more problems in addition to the divorce. Secondly its not extremely odd that you are listening to loud depressing music, it sounds like your a teenager, and teenagers tend to be loud and angry no matter what.Divorce is not a pleasant experience and victims of it handle their grief differently,so it may seem that everyone but you is handling this divorce better but it may just be that your more vocal about your sadness. Your best bet is to talk to an adult figurehead. You shouldn't bottle up your emotions and then ask random strangers for their advice. You need to talk to someone you know and trust. keep in mind divorce is painful but its not the end of the world. Your parents are still alive and will be there for you. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

My parents divorced when I was about 12. It didn't really bother me but when I would think about the fact that I wouldn't see my dad as much (although I only saw him about once a month anyway) I would bawl thinking, "I want my dad!" I never talked to anyone about it though.
I don't know if it's because of any particular experiences in my life, but I do know what you're going through. I listen to screamo and punk/emo all the time, I try to be a rebel (but it's weird because I'm only a rebel in my mind which gives me a split personality kinda). I've attempted suicide 3 times (once I came closer than the other times). I don't think I could ever bring myself to doing it though because I can't hurt my family like that. That's why I'm only a rebel in my head. I'm not saying that you should keep it all in to prevent hurting your family because it'll drive you mad inside and then you'll only end up hurting them anyway. Find an outlet to help you vent your anger, letting it out nice and easy in a constructive way rather than a deconstructive way. Maybe you could learn to play music if you don't already. I play guitar, listen to all kinds of rock, write unrhyming poems...when you're a rebel, who needs to rhyme? I also draw weird figures that are kinda Tim Burton-like.
Find what you're good at and do it. Or better yet, find out what you don't do well...and then don't do it. Maybe you could find a church to go to (if you don't already go to one) and find someone to talk to there. I'm not saying you'd have to go to church, just find someone to talk to. Don't get let down by the hypocrites that feel threatened by anyone different from them.

Answer 5

I'd try to seek emotional help whether it be through a school or medical counselor. I'd recommend a medical doctor because then he may be able to percribe some mild medication for your depression. Also, try taking up an exercise like walking and/or jogging. By having that type of activity, the chemicals in your body may help calm your emotions and may help you release some of the tension in your emotional state. I'm sorry for what you're going through, i wish you all the best and hope that you feel better about the situation and yourself through this advice.

Answer 6

Sit down with your mom and dad, seperetely if need be and explain to them how you feel about things during the turmoil of a divorce, if thats what you need. Sounds to me like you are taking your temper out on others when you maybe should be telling your folks ( after all it sounds to me like you are "really" mad at your folks, maybe for not including you in conversations or as simple as not being attentive to your needs as they used to be ) Sometimes parents are so wrapped up in their stuff that they forget about youz guyz. It isn't any body's fault if that is the case in your house. They just need to be reminded every now and again that you guyz have hearts and feelings just like everybody else and also have needs as well. Just try and be careful how you approach them about this. Just a suggestion, GOOD LUCK.

Answer 7

this IS just a phase, and yes, it is normal considering what you're going through--
the divorce of your parents is like a death... the death of the loving relationship that raised you, a death of part of your world...

but you don't have to take it personally onto yourself... YOU still have value and have a reason for being here on earth.

i think it's good you are expressing your emotions through your style and that you have a good friend that you feel safe with... its important to express yourself so things don't get all bottled up inside you. journals, friends, artwork... that can all help.

it must be hard to be at a new school... try to stay positive and express your anger so it doesn't eat you inside... and don't worry, THIS IS JUST A PHASE it's not going to last forever...

good luck...

Answer 8

omg plz don't comment suicide cuz it's not gonna help u it's just gonna make ur family more distance away than it already is......just know there divorce is not dealing with u and ur bro...it was their decision and they discusted together,im pretty sure,and they are prob doin wats best for ur family...they prob don't want u to hear them fight all the time.......i wiwsh i could be ur friend and comfort u more in this...but u know wat ur gonna get through fine even though u don;t see it yet but u are gonna do great.................i hope u go see ur guidece counsler b-cuz u need to get this off ur chest...don't hold nothin inside..plz get help plz