Ok well a few nights ago we had family over and some friends as well. My stepdad is always rude to them, he puts them down or just ignores them completely.. Well the other night things got out of hand, first off he was giving my 5 yearold little sister alcohol while she was on vikadin for her fractured foot.. later on the night it kept getting worse, and near about midnight he got so pissed off and was about an inch away from beating all of us up. He was drunk that night, but he acts the same even when he's sober, and that scares me so much, what if one night he completely loses it and gets the gun we have in our house and shoots us.. I am terrified to be around him, I dont feel safe in this house anymore and I dont when i'm at other familys houses because their allowing my stepdad to be on the property, and I'm scared to be anywhere near him... I dont know what I should do, and I'm not sure if i can move out legally yet because I'm only 16, and i'm kinda afraid to get a teachers advice from my school cause police can end up being involved and things can escalate even more... Then lastnight things got out of hand again with him, and mom is doing nothing about it, so he's going to be staying, and i'm so scared to be here.. I want to try move out for sure when I turn 17(I heard from some people that I can move out without consent when I'm 17 but I'm not sure), but thats 4 months away.. How can I make it through these 4 months until my 17 birthday so I can get out of here?? So what is the legal age to move out of your parents house without consent??? And if I can not move out now, will I be able to move out without parents consent when I turn 17??
2007-11-01 17:07:35 · 24 answers · asked by Reacy 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I think you need to tell the police about this. Giving a 5 year old alcohol is horrible and ILLEGAL. Your stepdad has some real issues and You and everyone else in that house need to leave before it get worse.
2007-11-01 17:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by Bandit_ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Then what will you do? What job can you get? Do you have any skills? How will you finish High School? And what about college? You need to find another solution.
Can you speak honestly with your mom about the situation? Is there a way you two can get away for an hour to speak frankly to each other? If so, try it. There's a good chance your mom feels the same way. Maybe she feels trapped by your stepdad. It might help if she knew you were behind her. One phone call to the police, a restraining order and he's out of the house.
If you think talking to her about it will make matters worse, then you may have to consider confiding in a teacher or guidance councilor. If your mom is not willing to stop the abuse, you need to get in touch with someone who knows what resources are available to you in your area.
I hope you find some kind of solution.
2007-11-01 17:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by MIKE l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a teacher. You need to get some help; and you need to help your sister get some help as well. She's being abused every time he gives her alcohol. Both of you are being abused every time he gets so angry that you fear for your safety. You both are being abused everytime he gets so angry he can't stop yelling and threatening you.
Talking to a teacher will get the police involved. But it shouldn't cause things with your stepdad to escalate. It should cause them to stop. He can (and should) be criminally charged with abuse; and if not that - definitely for giving alcohol to a minor (especially one that is only 5 years old).
If you are worried something will happen to your sister between the time you talk to your teacher and the police can do something about it - try taking your sister for a walk (put her in a stroller, or in a wagon - I know she may not be able to walk far with a fractured foot), and walk to a neighbor's house, or a friend's house, and call the police from there. That gets both of you out of immediate harm's way once the police get involved.
I know you may just want to get yourself out of there and away from your stepdad. But also think about your sister - you are the only help she has right now. If you can't tell someone what's going on to save yourself; you can at least protect her.
2007-11-01 17:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by wibelle37 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Ask a lawyer these questions because he or she can give you the right answers.
2. Tell your school guidance counselor. Sure the police are going to get involved, but wouldn't you rather them get involved now while you are still alive instead of digging up clues about your murder?
3. I also would suggest taking your little sister and you to a shelter for abused women. Try and talk your mom into going with you. The problems with your step are going to only get worse instead of better.
4. If you have to, file for what is called an imancipated minor, which means you have to show the court that you have the means to support yourself on your own and not under your parents roof. That is going to be a tough one because with rent and bills there aren't many 16 year olds who can actually pull it off.
But the main thing is you contact an attorney and definitely tell your school counselor. I would rather have your step mad for getting into trouble than reading your obituary in the newspaper.
2007-11-01 17:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by David T 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are with you!
There is a way to gain adult status before you turn 18. But you have to get the courts involved, and the legal authorities. You must get a judge to grant you legal adult status.
Look up a hotline number for domestic violence cases, and a counselor can help you set up an exit plan. But, because of your age, and because of your sister, the police will most likely have to get involved. I know you probably didn't want to hear that, but you may have to talk to a teacher or a counselor, who can then contact the authorities, especially if there is no hotline in your area. You deserve better than what you are getting!
Best of luck to you. Again, I strongly urge you to talk to a teacher or another adult you trust, so they can contact the proper authorities.
2007-11-01 17:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by ningerbil2000 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother may be afraid of him as well. You don't say anything about your father so is there a chance that you could go there to stay? If you can talk to your mother when he is not around you can try to get her to talk to someone in an abuse shelter or is she goes online at all have her look at acadv - I will give you a link. Once you move out, your sister will still be there so it would be better if your mother could get the courage to throw this guy out. If he is that bad all the time, you may be better off going to social services and they can find a place for both you and your sister to go to get away from him and then perhaps your mother will get away from him as well. you should talk to someone about this because if he keeps on like this he will hurt someone perhaps in time and so even if the police do get involved, it can only get better for all of you there.so it is better to get you and your sister away from him now. Godd Luck to you
2007-11-01 17:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get yourself declared an emancipated minor and act as an adult. I don't know where you are located, because here you would have to be eighteen to be independent, unless you are an emancipated minor. You would need to find yourself an attorney - is there a Legal Aid office near you?
The other possibility is that you can call Children's and Family Services, or whatever that is called in your state, yourself. You need to protect both yourself and your sister. No five-year old should be fed alcohol.
2007-11-01 17:17:12 · answer #7 · answered by neniaf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell an teacher. As scary as it is, both you and your sister need to be protected. Get the help that you need. A teacher can call in children's services and have them take you to another family members home. They can also get an order of protection for you. Your mom is to blame for some of this. How can any woman put the safety of their offspring second to a man is beyond me. If you do leave how will be there to help your sister? Think it though and act soon. God bless
2007-11-01 17:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by littleme836 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, sounds like the police NEED to be involved. Don't you care that your 5-yr-old sister is being abused? Definitely go to a trusted teacher, or directly to the police or Child Protective Services They can find you a safe place to stay, and your sister too. I know you don't want her to have to live like that. You can then go to court and petition to become an emancipated minor, but you'll need to get a job and a place to live. Good luck, and do get out of there NOW.
2007-11-01 17:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by kathi1vee 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The legal age to move out without parent's consent is 18. However, you could go through courts and obtain a court order from a judge to become emancipated. Once emancipated, you're nearly equal to an adult, legally speaking. You are completely free from any control by your parents.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emancipation_of_minors
2007-11-01 17:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by candy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋