Seriously, would you want your son to allow his girlfriend ...?

Question

... to have sex with him before marriage? Obviously your son wouldn't know any better and wouldn't realize he should save himself for marriage.

Answer 1

Would YOU buy a car before checking underneath the hood?

They should 'play house' if they even consider a teeny-weeny bit they may wish to marry down the road. They should also get the education thing out of the way, build up careers and a nest egg.

Then, on the day of his 40th birthday I would give them my blessing to marry.

edit: whiner
I think what Kate is trying to say is this:
young people are more likely to be virgins (or celebate)than older people. For example, an 18 year old is more likely to wait for marriage to have sex than a 38 year old, right? How many 38 year old virgins do you think are running around? Yes. Zero is the correct answer. The younger the marriage partners are when they marry, the greater the liklihood of divorce (there is tons of data on this, you can find it easily yourself), Correspondingly, the older (mature) the people who marry are, the less likihood of divorce. I am talking about FIRST marriages only in both cases. Anyway, statistically - people whose first marriage occurrs when they are...38...will probably stay married forevermore (I think we can safely assume that neither is a virgin still at the age of 38). That is what the statistical data tells us, and I think this is likely to be what Kate was thinking about when she posted. I know this just as well as Kate and this factoid is what inspired my original sarcastic little post (above).

Answer 2

Seriously?
My kids are taught that sex is a normal part of a RELATIONSHIP , not a random event to alleviate boredom. I acknowledge that some teenagers form relationships that include sex and I don't object to it categorically. Individual maturity is taken into account and helps determine whether I approve of or advise against sex for teens.
Birth control and protection against STDs are an integral part of my children's sex education.
Sorry to take this question so seriously - parenting teenagers is influencing my take on it.

I'm loving the sarcasm dripping from some of the other answers here, though- especially Carrie's!

Answer 3

my problem with 'saving oneself for marriage' has always been that 'marriage' is a ceremony a couple go through to tell other people something important about their relationship.

but other people aren't important in a relationship: in any good relationship the only people who matter are the two people in it.

i brought up my daughters with the idea that if you sleep with somebody (anybody - but especially the first person you sleep with) that person becomes an important part of who you are for a very long time (the rest of your life in most cases). you shouldn't have sex with anyone you won't want to be around in ten years' time; because you will be around them in ten years' time - whether they are still a part of your life or not.

it worked for me.

i don't know if it worked for my daughters: that is their business.

Answer 4

I attempt to no longer choose human beings. besides the undeniable fact that, this gf won't final. She is being very egocentric. it is his baby, too. in case you savor what he has performed for you, recognize him as a father and a chum. do no longer carry him back from this staggering and specific social gathering. placed your self in his shoes. If he does not instruct. it is his decision. i does no longer stand in his way nevertheless. I understand no longer wanting the drama. besides the undeniable fact that, he's the daddy. She has no rights or decision in this in any respect. It appears like she's have been given some actual issues. beginning with lack of self belief. no longer your problem. If she maintains to worry you. substitute your quantity and take in spite of the fact that steps mandatory to maintain her far flung from you and the toddler. He has rights and emotions and should no longer go through by way of fact of her. i'm hoping you fairly think of approximately this. you're saying he replaced into/is a chum. He did this when you consider which you needed a toddler. i don't have faith this has to do with him no longer being there romantically. in spite of the fact that if it does. Your toddler merits the two mum and dad.

Answer 5

I don't have any children so I can't really relate. But in general I've never considered it to be "wrong" to have sex before marriage. Maybe if I was a parent I would feel different about it when it comes to my kids, but I have no idea.

Answer 6

Would I WANT it? No. There's no reason for me to pressure him to do it.

If he's going to do it out of his choice, then he's going to do it and needs to be educated about taking precautions and what the consequences are.

I'm not a parent btw, but it's just that I remember being a sexually active teenager who didn't listen to her mom saying "Wait until marriage." So, I'm assuming my future kids might not listen to me either. I would explain to him why it's more beneficial to wait, but who knows if he will listen or not.

Answer 7

i am honestly tired of that mindless rhetoric of 'saving one's self for marriage'. Why saving is in the sentence i don't understand. I believe that people should be able to have sex when they are ready for it and safely. Obviously this also means that under our law they have to be at least 18. That's it. Other than that i am not sure why people need to be saved from sex. It is a natural expression of our humanity. Something we should embrace with pride and joy, not something people should be shameful about.
So yes, i would approve of my son having safe sex with his girlfriend who is over 18 years of age

Answer 8

I've actively discouraged from my nephews from rushing into sex and encouraged them to wait, to be aware of the risks and responsibilities. I haven't said that they need to wait for marriage, but I have told them that decent, responsible people don't treat sex as a conquest or an athletic event and that they prove their manhood, not by bedding women, but being being conscientious, ethical, courteous, and decent in all their interactions. They also know about condoms and they know that even if a woman is on the Pill, they still need to protect themselves and any partners from STDs and that it is as much the man's responsibility as the woman's.

They have been taught to judge their friends and themselves in the same way they would judge a man pursuing their sister. They have no regard for men who go around lying to women to get sex and have as much contempt for dead-beat dads as I do.

Answer 9

Would I want? Absolutely not. I think that teenagers have sex too early.

However, many teens have sex, whether we want them to or not... And as it is usually not the practice that teenage sons discuss their sex life with their mother, I would hope that 1) He would speak with his father about it and/or 2) He would use protection.

You just have to teach your children the best you can and model appropriate behavior for them.

Answer 10

That is kinda how My bf's mom is! :(

Honestly I would worry more about my son than my daughter because I think I could talk to my daughter about precautions and make sure she understands before she makes her choice whether or not to have sex.

I can have a responsible son but I can only ask that he have a serious discussion with his gf about birth control and STIs.