We've been married for 2 1/2 years and have 2 daughters. He's cheated on me 2x and I can' trust him anymore. We've been trying to make it work since the last time he did it but I can't forgive him and I'm just so unhappy. It hurts so bad. I still love him I think but I can't stand him. Please, I need some strength from the women here. I need help. Please no wise cracks.. This is serious.
2007-11-01 14:59:29 · 23 answers · asked by Kera L 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
there are some problems you have to think about:
1. your daughters - if you leave him, can you bring them up by yourself? and think about the influence to the kids of the divorce - does it deserve?
2. do you REALLY decide to leave him and dont forgive him this time or you're still kinda thinking about if you should give him one more chance.. cuz you said you still love him.
what I can advise is just calm down, be sane and think about these, then decide by yourself.
good luck!
2007-11-01 15:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by And Hearts Weirdo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
today is painful, tomorrow the seed will be grown. the crown will flourish, your heart will be filled with much happiness! Don't continue looking back. Don't keep thinking what IT could have been. Stay focus and balanced! Your doing the right thing! Stop crying and stop being sad. Stop it now! Pack everything that you both once were. Save what you need to for the kids. Get rid of the rest. Buy new things for your home. Last but not least. Get yourself an attorney yesterday! Don't tell him! If you haven't already gotten yourself one! Your gonna be better then ever. Sometimes when someone hurts us so cruelly, mentally we all get stronger then ever. He'll be coming around trying to get you back. Stay safe and wise. you'll be just fine. get out of the depression. it will fog everything you need to do!
2007-11-01 15:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. This is a sad place to be. I recently was seriously thinking about leaving my husband too. We even decided to get a divorce. He didn't cheat on me with another woman. He just cheated me of his time. He was always with his friends and he always put them first. We've since worked things out and are doing good. Have you tried counselling? The bad thing is if he's cheated twice already he probably won't stop. You've got to do what's best for you and your daughters. If your upset and miserable all the time it will effect them too. I wish you all the strength and luck in making your decision.
2007-11-01 15:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Shrew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a woman, but I try help people who are facing this and other problems. First, If you leave, get a support system of family and friends that can talk objectively about the issues. Those who are going to just tell you what you want to hear are not helping. With children involved, you must be very careful how things are handled. Do not let them blame themselves for the split or problems.
There are m,any issues you will face. Do thos away from the kids so they do not feel caught in the middle. You said nothing about ages, but your explanation of what is happening will be critical. I will be happy to help you through this. Email me anytime you need to talk. God Bless you and you will be in my Prayers.
2007-11-01 15:05:52 · answer #4 · answered by the_chief 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have my sympathy. It's not easy. My ex waited till my youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. It hurts and it will for a while. I kept a diary of all my feelings. I found it not too long ago and I was surprised about how angry I was. It's been 7 years now and I'm happy and well adjusted. Get some counseling and I went through a Divorce Care group that help soo much. You feel so alone but you're not. Good luck to you♥
2007-11-01 15:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by Squirt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your pain and what you and your husband are going through. Your trust has been broken and you need to repair your heart now. First you need to have people around you that love you... family and close friends. These are ones that will be there for you, whether it's cooking, watching your girls and helping them to cope, or holding you while you cry. And honey, I know those tears will fall. Think of your tears as healing your soul. You need to get rid of the poison they represent. Being able to talk to your friends and family is great, but please think about talking to a family counseler. They deal only with family situations. I know it's hard to see now, but in time, moment by moment, breath, by breath, it will get easier for you, with your support net of family and friends that love you and won't let you fall, and your heart will heal.
2007-11-01 15:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Enchantress38 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. I know what you are going through. I am alone now after my man left me for this girl he knocked up. It hurts so bad. Just keep being strong. Don't let him close to you. You love him, and this is going to allow him to make his way back in if you do. Keep your friends and family close and ask for help when you need it. When he wants to see your daughters, you take them over there, or let him come over, but don't be alone. I know too well how he will try to slip his way back in but don't let him. It is hard to go it alone. It is really hard. You already know that and I admire your strength for being able to do so. Just keep strong. Go to church. Take some time to yourself. Take your babies to a movie, to the playground, and relax a little. Don't forget to have some fun.
2007-11-01 15:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your pain and sorrow. But this is your husband's loss and maybe a better man's gain, when you are ready to go down that road again.
Trust me int the fact that it is better for you to leave him , than to be around him and be miserable in front of your girls. They know when somethings wrong with their parents and that affects them too. At least if you leave and stand on your own they will see their mommy as a strong independent happy woman and I know that's what you want them to grow to be.
You know in your heart what is best for you and them and do it.
Good luck girl and keep your head up!
Write me anytime.
2007-11-01 15:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find your strength.It's there.For your daughters you will.
I'm leaving my husband of 13 years(4 kids)for other reasons,but it's what will make me a happier mom.Sometimes,divorce cannot be avoided...and God knows I've tried.He just doesn't deserve it.
We,as women,deserve to be treated with respect.To be cherished above all others.Remember that.Your girls need to know that THEY too deserve that in their future relationships.
Good luck to you,hon.Be strong.
2007-11-01 15:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by mrs O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and can feel your pain through your typewritten words. It's a pain no one can experience unless you have been there.
My ex-husband was a lot like yours. He felt that cheating and monogamy in marriage was just a give and take. I never cheated and don't believe in it.
We were married less than 3 years. I got pregnant with my first son thinking it was what he wanted and maybe it would settle him down. He was excited and a good Dad at first. He slowly went back to his sneaky ways and like a fool I felt like if I got pregnant again he'd be forced to stay and try to be a better man.
He left me for another woman when I was 7 months pregnant.
I thought my world was over and didn't know how I was going to make it. I felt like my whole world was crushed.
He was also extremely physically abusive. When we were seperated after I had my son he broke almost all of the bones on the right side of my face. He wanted me and to have his cake too. I filed for divorce and he married the other woman on the day after our divorce was finalized. She also divorced him later for the same reasons.
I couldn't let him go. It didn't matter how much he had hurt me I let him come back to the house (saying it was to see the boys) and we always ended up in bed together. The sex we had made me feel as if he still loved me. He was married and still staying with me when he felt like it. He had the best of both worlds. Nothing anyone could say could make me feel that he didn't love me in his own way. I had more excuses for him than anything.
My family and friends interviened after I became so depressed that I was lost. I moved away from him and for a while was so miserable I felt like I wanted to die. He was my first sexual partner and my first love. I was 21 when we had sex for the first time. I felt as if he had taken away a part of me that I could never replace.
Time went on and I still missed him. I met new friends and since I was in the Army I adjusted because I had to. I also went to college while I was still in the Army. At college I met a close knit group of friends who befriended me and I finally felt like I fit in. After months of hanging out with them one of the guys in the group asked me out. We kept it a secret from the rest of our friends in case nothing ever came of it. Well, we couldn't hide it long. They guessed before we even told them. In time we married and now it has been 20 years. God finally sent me my soul mate and my partner. I'm not going to say that he is an angel, no man is. I've come to learn to love myself and all that I am and stand for. I am currently working on my PHD and have a very successful business.
There is hope. The pain lessens day by day. You have to think of your kids first. You also must learn to love yourself more. Pat yourself on the back for just being proud enough to get yourself out of a bad situation. Do things just for you. Be selfish and from that you will find strength to do whatever it takes to move on with your life.
Now I understand the saying "One monkey don't stop no show." When I was thinking about dating before I met my current husband I had a friend who said "Men are like buses, they keep coming around with different men every half hour." It seems sad now, but you'll laugh later.
You have a good heart and a good soul. Don't waste it on someone who cannot or is not willing to give what you deserve in return. Do NOT settle for less than you are worth. You want your children to grow up in a happy and healthy environment.
Good Luck and I will pray for you. Only your true inner strength can pull you through this. You deserve better. Take baby steps until you can take the big walk away.
God Bless You.
2007-11-01 15:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋