How do I politely, nicely and respectively say that I do not want to take piano lessons?

Question

Okay so here's the story...

When I was 10 my mom made me make piano. I didn't want to when I started... a year later I detested it more. I'm not 14 and I still can't get into it. I've begged her to let me take another intrument, lesson or somethign to make up for it... she just doesn't understand that I really don't like it. Music isn't for me, I'd much rather play sports. (In which I do and I plan to do more of it.) WHAT DO I DO?

I would like to thank everyone for the input and also say that I am into TEAM sports I play on 2 seperate teams. I am an excellent students (usually 90% to 100% on everything I look at heheh) I've tried and tried but for the 4 years I've taken piano im in Grade 3 piano... I mean how humiliating is that? First, I don't like it, then there people that don't like it and are GOOD at it... theres grade 7's in my school! (in piano) Ugh its so frustrating she won't budge.

Answer 1

Your mom is probably living vicariously through you. What that means it that it is possible that she wants you to succeed in something that she desired when she was your age but never got. I'm sure she wants nothing but the best for you and wants you to be good at something. I'm 38 and I can't tell you how many times I said, "I wish I had started ice skating when I was 5, maybe I would be a professional skater right now" or something like that. Most talented and famous people started their talents at a young age and your mom is probably hoping that it will pay off for you later. I'm sure she would be proud of you no matter what you do as long as you enjoy it and do your best. Sit your mom down. Tell her that you can't thank her enough for all of the money that she has spent on piano lessons for you and that you have gotten a lot out of it, and that it's something you will never forget. Also tell her that the older you get, the more you are learning about who you are and where your interests lie, and that although the piano lessons were a good experience, you are finding yourself and your interest now lies in sports. Promise her that you will do your best to keep her proud of you at being talented at something other than piano. You can also tell her that every year for her birthday or something that you will play a tune for her on the piano as a memoir' of all the time and money she put into giving you lessons. That is also a good way of making her feel good that it was money well spent. Because if you can still play it once in a while it will probably make her very happy :) Good luck. Hope I helped.

Answer 2

Speaking as a Mother myself your in a bad place ie you know what YOU want and your mum knows what SHE wants having said this, which you more than likely already know, I suggest you explain to your mum although she wants you to learn an instrument you just can't put your heart into it and all she is doing is wasting money and time, you will not be continuing with music when you have the opportunity to stop and you would much prefer to take up a sport that will cost her less in the long run. Be sure to explain how much you loath the music lessons and that you really aren't learning anything. Mothers can be real tough to get around, like I said I'm one and was tough on my sons too but if you can sit down and talk to her calmly and respectfully I'm sure you can work it out failing this I would suggest you plead with her and tell her you will do anything she wants including the all chores for a year if she will just let you stop the lessons. On hearing that she should realise how serious you are as no one especially kids will volunteer to do chores unless they have no choice. I'm sure she wont hold you to that but be repaired just in case she does and if so you will then have to work on getting out of the chores lol. gl Mel ;-)

Answer 3

Is your price for a 1/2 hour or hour lesson? If its for an hour lesson you may want to lower it slightly. That is how much I charge for a half hour lesson, but I have my masters in music. I think you have a good plan but references would be a good idea considering you do not have any advanced degrees yet and since you are so young. Have you thought of apprenticing yourself to your teacher or another teacher you know, so that you can get tips on how to deal with a variety of situations. Remember every child is different and that is the beauty of private lessons, but it can be frustrating at first if you only know how to approach issues from one side. This would be great for you if you do plan on majoring in music or piano pedagogy. Colleges will love to see that you already have some teaching experience. Best of Luck!

Answer 4

What a shame. I started playing when I was 6 (the TV was broken, so all us kids were taught the basics - I was the only one who took to it.) I am very grateful that my mother pushed me when I didn't want to. However, I did enjoy it when I first started to learn. If you decide you don't like it before you start, you've doomed yourself to failure.

Also, most musicians are individualists. They may be into sports, but usually not TEAM sports. Look at how many like skiing, or racing - there may be a team involved in the background, but in the end it's just you on that slope. Music also isn't a team sport - you can play in a group, but only after you've mastered the instrument. Up til then, you're strictly solo. If you're a "team" kind of person, then it may be that music just doesn't suit your personality. Pity - it can certainly make you popular at college parties! ;-)

PS: Why would you beg her to let you take another instrument? If you're not into music, then that would also be a waste of time - and money. Tell her to save the cash - you're just not interested in it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I would just explain that you understand the benefits of taking piano, such as discipline, culture, and lifelong enjoyment of music. You should validate her feelings. Then say, "while piano has benefited me, I'd like to move onto trying other things that will broaden my horizons.....that I might enjoy more."

You did try it for 4 years, so she can't say that you didn't give it an honest chance.

Maybe you can just do piano less often, and add in more sports.

Answer 6

Tell your mom she is wasting her money. Honestly, you can't FORCE someone to enjoy or be talented with the piano. Personally, I was forced since the age of 5 to take piano lessons. I loved it up to age 7, but found it tougher and tougher to understand. My eyes just couldn't read the notes as fast as my fingers were suppose to play them. HOWEVER, I did like to play the drums. But my Mother was bent on my playing the piano...I believe she had always wanted to play, and was trying to live through me vicariously. Regardless, I was good at the drums and loved to play. She would not pay for drum lessons, however. I was the 1st seat drummer in our highschool band, and still she would not pay for drum lessons, but kept paying for those damn piano lessons. I personally worked odd jobs to continue my drumming with a professional instructor. FINALLY...in the 10th grade, after a heart-to-heart talk with my piano teacher, she let me quit the piano lessons. Moral of the story...Not everyone is cut out for playing the piano. And I actually played professional drums in an orchestra for a time when I got older. So I think sometimes parents turn a blind eye to their kids likes and actual talents, in hopes they can somehow force some musical genius out of them. I would tell your Mom to please have a long talk with your piano teacher regarding your talents and interest in this field. Perhaps it will finally click with her if she hears it from your teacher. As for me...after more than a DECADE of UNWANTED PIANO LESSONS...I can't even plunk out "Chopsticks".

And yet...I STILL play the drums...professionally...on occasion!!

I'm behind ya all the way, kid!! I could have bought a new car for all the money my Mom threw away on piano lessons for me. My brain and fingers just didn't connect that way.

Answer 7

i started when i was 8, and 5 years later i'm still not that into it, but i'm starting to like it just a little bit more. Give it another month or so and if you truly detest piano, then it's time to have the mother-daughter talk. Tell her that you appreciate that she wants you to have all the opportunities in life, but you want to move and try new things because piano doesn't really hit it off with you.

good luck!

Answer 8

Thank you for making sure I got to take piano lessons... it's something I will always remember.. I'm glad I tried it.. but honestly.. piano is something I just don't care for.. I'm sorry.

Answer 9

Being able to ply the piano is something that you will only appreciate a few years down the road, can you treat it as a hobby,I meet so many people in my life that express regret for having given up, may be you can change your attitude towards it, see it as something you want to do, not something that your mom is forcing you to do, you will be surprised at the change that will take place

Answer 10

try to approach her calmly about the whole situation...

ask her why she wants you to play piano so much.


CALMLY tell her that youd rather play [another instrument] and that you want to play sports.


most parents think that piano is the only way that their kids will ever suceed....but convince your mom that you can take extracurriculurs or something to make up for it.


i had to tell my mom that i no longer wanted to play flute this year.