My insecurity has gotten worse over the last few years. Of course, when I was younger it was easy to get men to like me. But now, in my late 40's, it's harder. I'm divorced, no kids, & I worry abt growing old alone.
But my biggest problem right now is that I get so jealous of the younger girls at the office. I feel like an old prune!!!! How can I get over this feeling?
2007-11-01 14:16:50 · 16 answers · asked by Sunny 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
American Idol - that one hurt!!!!!
2007-11-01 14:34:37 · update #1
You should stop competing on there level. Focus on your strengths, and not so much on outward beauty. The confidence an older woman exudes can be very alluring to guys. Don't allow insecurities to get in the way. Act beautiful and you will be.
2007-11-01 14:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by GoodGuy53 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to do things to help raise your self esteem. What have you always wanted to do but never had the courage to try? I know for me, I ended a years long relationship last year and I was feeling very displaced and unsure of myself. I tried to make myself feel better by watching a lot of my favorite movies (think chick flicks lol) and realized that most of them had something to do with dancing. So I decided to take a private salsa lesson just to see how I would like it. Thankfully, my studio refused to give me a private lesson and I took a class. This is almost a year later and I am on the studio dance team. I have never felt more confident and fulfilled in my life and I know that it shows in everything I do. I have had my pick of men and found one that is more amazing than I could have possibly hoped for! So you may be thinking that some of the girls in your office are younger than you but how many of them can make a fancy flare with an inside turn look as hot as you can? Do something that you love and that inner happiness will radiate from you and will draw men like flies. Then you'll have all those younger girls asking you how you are older and yet manage to stay so hot!!
2007-11-02 00:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by curiousjeunefille 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's odd, but as a guy I feel the same way, jealous of the younger women...lol Just kidding! No really, I do feel your pain. I'm 45, going on 80..hehe Mind of a 14 year old boy. But seriously, I do feel similar, and not sure what to do about it.
This may not help, but I've been realizing something here lately. For a long time, I liked younger women. But it seems like finally I've realized that certain older women, not all, possess a worldliness that is kind of sexy. Not the know-it-all type but just the confidence some of them have. My last love was older than me, and I miss her a lot.
2007-11-01 21:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you said it yourself, you're scared of growing old alone. I don't think you're jealous of the younger girls in the sense you want to be younger but you are not too enthusiastic about having to look for a guy at an older age. If that's what you want. The first thing I would do to get over the feeling is finding single friends about my age. There's nothing like hanging out with people who know how you feel. Plus, if you ever decide that you want to go out and meet a guy then you can do it with friends. Cruises, shopping, charity events, working out. Hell, my mom is 60 and she still dates. Right now she's dating a great guy and I'm happy for her. Activities keep you from dwelling on things and social activities help you meet new people. And if you don't have kids now you should consider dating a guy with grown children already. Then if you get married to him you would have the joy of grandkids. Your life can be really awesome.
2007-11-01 21:29:08 · answer #4 · answered by dakota s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you're very pretty, maybe even more so than those younger girls. Try to make yourself believe it, and you will feel a lot better about things. Try getting all done up--new makeup, new haircut, your nicest clothes-- and going out somewhere where you can get some attention. This will make you feel like a million bucks. You don't have to look perfect every single day to be sexy.
2007-11-01 21:28:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 45, divorced, no kids, My Mom is still alive and I have a cat, one cat, Being jealous of the younger ones is so immature. Do things to get involved. I'm joining a bowling leauge tommorow, You must have some things you like?. If your not a beauty queen, then start eating better and get in shape. The main thing though, do it for yourself. the hell with the rest of them, do it for you, You just have a confidence problem, Hey I'm with you sister. You can do it
2007-11-01 21:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by tigerashes 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear you're going through those feelings of insecurity! I think that starting a ritual of renewal would be a good start. Figure out things that you like to do that make you feel refreshed (a manicure, a massage, spending time with a close friend, etc.) and try to make that a periodic thing to do. Secondly, keep yourself healthy and feeling good by eating well and getting exercise. Thirdly, put yourself into situations that you enjoy (take painting lessons or whatever hobby you enjoy). Challenge yourself by doing things you wouldn't normally do (i.e., if you don't like to cook, take cooking lessons). Surround yourself with loved ones and take care to nurture your relationships. Fourthly, and most importantly, take care of yourself spiritually.
Remember to keep it in perspective. To put it simply: You have a lot to offer and you matter just as much as anyone else. Your age and your experiences are a part of you. Try to be accepting of them. You have a lot of life and wonderful experiences in front of you to enjoy!
Good luck to you!
2007-11-01 21:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by candiceinks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
aah i kinda know what your talking about. im only 23 but when i was younger i was really overweight, and i was jealous of anyone skinnier than me. no matter what my friends or family said i didnt feel good about myself. the thing that finally helped was when i pushed myself to lose 85 lbs. i think what i am getting at is that you need to find something that makes you happy with yourself for you to be able to stop comparing yourself to people that shouldnt be comparing yourself to. do you like to work out, or are u able to dress real sexy at least once a week? its all in the way you feel about yourself when it comes to the way others will see you. just find something that makes you feel really good and it will show through to other people
2007-11-01 21:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by TN_PAallday 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Competition is natural and it is ok to feel like this. However the number one most attractive quality is confidence. Be confident with yourself and it will shine through to everyone else.
2007-11-01 21:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by beerpond 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think most of us go through this feeling. Not so much being jealous as much as realizing we are losing our looks.Sorry but it DOES get worse. A neck lift ( jowl removal and neck tightening) is $5,000 in this area and that includes removing bags under the eyes. Done by a great Beverly Hills trained plastic surgeon. Start saving up. I AM!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-01 21:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋