Real life good luck chuck??

Question

So it has come to my attention...

All of my ex's have gotten married and or had children with their next gf. It came to my attention after news of my most recent ex getting engaged... so I got to thinking... and realized at least 95% of this is true. Now.

The new boyfriend and I have been talking about it since I found out. And while we had talked about marriage and kids and our outlook and goals and all of that, we agreed to wait until we were both ready ( which neither of us are ) We are both still in college, and working all the time to make ends meet so it would be totally selfish right now. I know this. However, I want nothing more than to be a mother, and at 23 I feel in my prime... We've agreed to wait, but I think he can read me well enough to know that everytime I hear of an ex, or close friend being pregnant, or getting married, my heart drops a little because I wonder if it will ever be me. What can I do either hide it better, or set his mind at ease?

Ok, I know I need to wait, both of us do, that isn't the issue. The issue is, he sees how it bothers me even though we have both decided to wait. He feels like maybe he isn't what I need, or maybe he is going to slow for me, or maybe that is he holding me back , or making me wait... which isn't the case at all. If I really wanted these things now, I could have them... I've been proposed to, and turned them down because I wasn't ready. We have an understanding about waiting, it's just sometimes I think maybe he feels I'm just saying that because it's what he wants to hear. It's not. I know we need to wait. Sometimes I just wonder if I'll ever be ready... and that is why I flinch or lose faith when it seems everyone else is having what I want most. But that doesn't mean I want it right now.

Answer 1

You shouldn't rush into marriage just because most of your friends are getting married and having children. It's not like at 23 you could be considered old or anything; you're still young. By 23, I also thought I was mature enough, I though I was ready for marriage, and also believed that love would make everything alright, but I was wrong. Be patient, wait until (both of you) are ready financially -not just emotionally- too. Financial difficulties can put a strain on any relationship, no matter what people say, love alone doesn't conquer all. You have many more years ahead of you to have children and to enjoy your marriage. Wait until you finish college and land a good paying job, where you don't have to be working all the time to make ends meet.

Answer 2

There's no need to wait on marriage if you're ready to get married. Going to school and being married isn't too hard. There's always going to be some excuse if you can say school is an excuse, what about a career? Will that be another excuse? Children are the major issue here that seems to be stopping you from getting married, so don't get pregnant and screw up your life until you're ready. I don't know why everyone thinks that just because you're getting married you're going to start popping out the crotch droppings as soon as possible, contraceptives are a blessing, use them!

Answer 3

Oh sweetie, trust me, chill. I know exactly how you feel....except I'm married with two babies. I'm 23, too. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies and husband, but sometimes I really wish I could just be ME for a while, going out and trying the bar scene. Slow down, even though I know it's lonely. Try to stop focusing so much on what everyone else has, and start focusing on what is so awesome about YOU and your life. I'm so proud of you because you seem to know better than to get married just because you're lonely. And don't worry, you'll find him. It's just a matter of being available till he comes along! Good luck, baby.

Answer 4

Realize that your life is a long, slow journey. Enjoy the ride. Stop rushing towards the finish line. You will miss out on many wonderful and beautiful sights if you continue to hurry.

Good luck.