how do u know if u really, and truly love someone?

Question

and please don't say any cliches like "u'll know when you meet him" or "u'll just know" i want real answers ,but if u really want 2 free points go right ahead whos stoppin' ya as for the pple who care its important

Answer 1

Hi Rockstar,

I know that you really want a meaningful answer to your question, but the truth is no one can answer that for you. YOU have to decide for yourself when you are truly in love. Love is different for everyone, and no two people express it or feel it the same way. All anyone here can do is tell you how THEY have understood it. If those things help you then thats great, but be ready to accept that it is your responsibility to determine this for yourself.

Answer 2

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don

Answer 3

When there is nothing to judge and you drop your defenses. If you are looking for perfection that would be it. Loving a person otherwise is not impossible, but that's the best there is. What the hell do want from me anyways, I am only human.

The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative.

hope- Basic Trust vs. Mistrust
will- Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
purpose- Initiative vs. Guilt
competence- Industry vs. Inferiority
fidelity- Identity vs. Role Confusion
love (in intimate relationships, work and family)- Intimacy vs. Isolation
caring- Generativity vs. Stagnation
wisdom- Ego Integrity vs. Despair
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erick_Erickson

Answer 4

sorry, but you will know...seriously. It's a subjective feeling. There is no magic forumla that says you LOVE or DON'T LOVE. People are naive when they think there is some special moment when LOVE happens. Love just means you care about the person's well-being as your own and are committed to good will for them. Love is a general term. You feel it for your family, friends, etc. Infatuation is what gives you those butterflies. Lust makes you want to have sex. Love is just LOVE. Not JUST....but LOVE. It's profound. If you love someone, you'll probably want to commit to having them in your life in some form. That's up to you, not us.

Answer 5

So many people truly are in love and get married and then as the years go by they say they are no longer in love. So love is not all you need for a lasting relationship. You need commitment and maturity and understanding and dedication
and selflessness. Love alone will never work.

Answer 6

Dear Rock Star,
You really love someone when you see they are happy and it makes you happy, when they're sad or discomforted, then you are too.

Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is caring.

When you, or your lover says, "If you loved me then..." its not a description of love but of a commercial transaction. Love is not a trade.

Love is true love when it is independent of posession, independent of control. Love is not an addictive relationship. One can prefer, but in love one is not addicted to another's presence, nor are they to yours. That isn't love, it is more likely obsession.

One cannot love another truely unless one loves and respects one's self.

Good on ya.

Answer 7

This is not my theory, my grandmother told me this when I was young.

You know you love someone when you can not live without them, just the thought of it takes your breath and makes your heart hurt.
You love them completely when you would give your life to save theirs.

Its something, maybe it will help you, maybe not.

Answer 8

Feel naturally comfortable with them, as if you've known each other all along. you'll look past their faults, magnify their strengths, become stronger when around each other, by this i mean, spiritually, mentally, physically, etc. and you will just all around compliment one another, and will have a hard time being away from each other.

Answer 9

i can tell you that love by it self is something so huge that no one can explain it. love comes in many shape or forms, and the experience for every one is different.

the feelings that comes with love is like hurricane, one minute
you are come the next your heart bits so fast that you feel it will come out of your chest.

so it is really hard to explain it , because we are talking about
feelings so there is no guide lines to follow, there is no limitation how far one can go .
and some times these feelings turns to obsessions.

Answer 10

When your happiness is derived from theirs